P-p-p-p Poker Face

Boyfriend recently suggested I learn how to play poker because I like some other card games.

This was probably a bad idea.

 I was so hopeful...

...and so let down.

Ok, I still have a lot to learn. Leave your best poker tips in the comments! (Also, if you play online, let me know where. I'm looking for reputable sites that won't get my computer all spammy.)

Damnit Candy Corn

So, this is a repost from September 2012 because I feel very strongly about this topic still. I was going to try to whip up another post, but I decided this one is still pretty good and covers everything I have to say. 

Let’s talk about another addiction of mine. It’s not watching videos of puppies and kittens this time (though I still do that compulsively). It’s this:

You know what I mean right? The ones that are essentially all sugar? I LOVE the candy corn and candy pumpkins.

But not the “chocolate” candy corn bullshit.

bleh.

Anyhoo, this is a problem for a few reasons.

1. When I inevitably eat too many of them, I feel super sick.

2. Have you looked at their ingredients?

  

Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating. But really, it’s sugar and chemicals. Fucking delicious sugar and chemicals.

3. How about their nutrition information?

Anyhoo, they make me feel terrible, they're terrible for me, and yet my mouth is watering whilst writing this post.

And you know what the worst part is? Because EVERYONE IS AN ASSHOLE, my food store starting displaying them in the beginning of August. I haven’t bought any (yet), but we’re still like a month and a half from Halloween!!

It’s just not fair. I even had a DREAM about this candy, guys. I’m not kidding.

Yes, yes you should.

Clearly, someone needs to do this:

They would have my business.

Who’s with me? Or who else is addicted to disgustingly bad-for-you yet indisputably delicious candy?

Orange is the New Black

Boyfriend recently got Netflix, which is awesome because I love it when he gets stuff I can mooch off of. So we started watching Orange is the New Black. We binged on the first three episodes in one sitting.

I watched the one where she was starved out and I was not okay with it.

Boyfriend eventually fell asleep because that’s his normal schedule. I watched one more episode.

I can’t wait to watch the rest of the season. No one give me any spoilers, please!! It’s already taking everything in my power not to Wikipedia it.

Embarrassing Confessions: Les Mis

In the past, I’ve admitted to my loud chewing and love of Halloween candy.

The latest?

So, a couple of weeks ago I was alone on a Saturday night and I knew what I wanted to do.

Besides the fact that Boyfriend flat out refused to watch it, I knew it would be a tear jerker and I prefer to cry over musicals alone. Anyway, I watched it.

You guys, I cried so much.  I texted Boyfriend, too. He wasn't super sympathetic to my plight.

Me: I rented Les Mis

Boyfriend: Gag

Me: Sniffle!!!

Extra hard sniffle

I need more tissues.

Boyfriend: They should all die

Me: They all did. I accidentally cried.

Boyfriend: Good

Me: I was doing okay til Wolverine died. WOLVERINE.

Boyfriend: Wolverine can't die

Me: I wonder how many more times I can watch it til the rental is up

Boyfriend: You are sick

Me: Wolverine died and catwoman took him to heaven

Boyfriend: Please never talk to me again

Me: DON'T BE MEAN I JUST FINISHED CRYING

And I had awesome conversations like this on twitter:

Seriously how was her waist that tiny!?

Anyhoo, because I liked it so much, I watched it a bunch more times. And I cried every single time.

Does that stop me from watching it way too often? Nope.

This movie man. It’s just too damn sad.

Spoiler alert: he dies.

Game of Thrones is Back

Woohoo time for more Game of Thrones!   Boyfriend and I watched the premiere recently. It went like this:

I like Jaime. Forget about the incest thing. He's so sassy.

(I became a bit more obsessive than Boyfriend. Wikipedia is my friend.)

ihatehim

We watch the episodes a couple days after they air. It gives me time to scope out the parts I don't wanna watch. Yes, I am a baby.

We still don't know. Guys, WHY WAS EVERYONE DEAD?!

45 minutes later...

I told you. I like Jaime. 

Do you guys watch? Or was this post super hard to follow?