Friday, September 14, 2012

#*&!$! Halloween Candy



Let’s talk about another addiction of mine. It’s not watching videos of puppies and kittens this time (though I still do that compulsively). It’s this:


You know what I mean right? The ones that are essentially all sugar? I LOVE the candy corn and candy pumpkins.

But not the “chocolate” candy corn bullshit.
bleh.
Anyhoo, this is a problem for a few reasons.

1. When I inevitably eat too many of them, I feel super sick.

2. Have you looked at their ingredients?
  
Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating. But really, it’s sugar and chemicals. Fucking delicious sugar and chemicals.

3. How about their nutrition information?




Anyhoo, they make me feel terrible, they're terrible for me, and yet my mouth is watering whilst writing this post.

And you know what the worst part is? Because EVERYONE IS AN ASSHOLE, my food store starting displaying them in the beginning of August. I haven’t bought any (yet), but we’re still like a month and a half from Halloween!!

It’s just not fair. I even had a DREAM about this candy, guys. I’m not kidding.
Yes, yes you should.
Clearly, someone needs to do this:
They would have my business.
Who’s with me? Or who else is addicted to disgustingly bad-for-you yet indisputably delicious candy?

35 comments:

  1. I'm a candy corn addict myself. I'm with you on the chocolate bottom one..yuck!! They were selling it here in August too! What the hell! I refuse to buy it until October.Doesn't seem right anytime sooner! lol

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  2. Apparently if you have the candy corn addiction you have it bad. A friend of mine was crackers over candy corn, especially when she found out that there was bunny corn and she could get the stuff twice a year...

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  3. So you're one of the 12 people on the planet that eats those things? I'm kidding, and I'm also not a candy person at all, but seriously...eww!

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    Replies
    1. Abby might be an alien impersonating a human. Candy Corn is delicious. You have tipped your hand, Xarnac! Go back to your sugary goodness hating planet!

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  4. I freakin' love candy corn! And I'm with you on the chocolate candy corn. What the heck is that stuff?

    I bought my first bag last night. It was glorious! Oh wait...you're trying to refrain. It was awful. So very awful.

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  5. I hat that they started putting shame units on the labels of food. Candy corn is the best. And they're fun. Who among us has not used them to look like vampire fangs?

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  6. Those "chocolate" bits of candy corn are disgusting.

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  7. I love it! And I love those pumpkins soooo much - those and the little sweethearts you get at Valentines day. It's funny, I published a post this morning on being addicted to poptarts.
    All the bad things for us taste so, so good!

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  8. The Cadbury Creme Eggs are my undoing. They are pure delicious sugary bliss. But I can usually only get through half of one before I feel like I am going to go into a diabetic shock coma and barf at the same time. So I try to refrain from eating them. But I can only resist for so long. I'm not Iron Man!

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    Replies
    1. I discovered something evil this year: mini cadbury eggs. All the goodness without the risk of diabetic shock, hehe

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  9. We have to break up. Right NOW!!!

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    Replies
    1. RUDE. Especially because I already told you about I had that dream last night where you cheated on me with a stupid college floozy. HMPH.

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  10. I can easily scarf down a whole bag of candy corn in a matter of minutes! Yummy, sugary, tooth rotting heaven! (I haven't succumbed yet either, but it's just a matter of time)

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  11. Chocolate candy corn sucks ass because it doesn't taste anything like chocolate. And is it just me, or are the candy corn pumpkins more delicious than the regular triangle ones?

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  12. I love Candy Corn too. Have you seen the Candy Corn Oreos? I want to try them, but I don't want to buy a whole package because I know I will eat them all in one sitting.

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  13. bad things are always soo good :)

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  14. Oh wow, candy corns?

    When I was a kid, I freaking loved those cadbury eggs. So revoltingly good!

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  15. I have fond memories of the pumpkins from my childhood.

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  16. They currently have Candy corn M & M's that have a Candy corn tasting outside and white chocolate inside - yes please! Also there are Oreo's that have candy corn flavored middles and are vanilla cookie - there goes any semblance of health in my life!
    Stacey - long time reader

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  17. Oh, I hear ya...those little candy corns are 100 percent delicious for sure. I am on board for retailers to knock-it-off with the marketing holidays WAY before their time. I love those little Snicker bars and I need not to see bags with 100 little candy bars in it.

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  18. A month after Halloween last year, my supermarket must have found a case of candy corn in their backroom. They were selling bags of it for 15 cents. I bought at least 10 bags.

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  19. My addiction is lolly bananas, and those buggers are available all year long! I've got no hope!

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  20. Okay, I probably shouldn't admit this, but I love candy corn so much, that I have a very specific way of eating it. I bite off each section, one at a time and eat it. I savor. First the white tip, then the orange, then the yellow. If I get stuck with a chocolate one? No worries! I just don't eat that last section. The pumpkins have to be shoved whole into my mouth, as there are no convenient sections, but that's okay, I love them anyway :)

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    Replies
    1. Ummm... I thought it was THE LAW that they be eaten this way.

      I'm pretty sure it is.

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  21. I looooove candy corn. And sadly enough, I'm the only one of my RLF's that does. Everyone else says it's "gross" GASP! I'm not too keen on the pumpkins but I won't NOT eat them either.

    I haven't seen them in stores yet, but I'd imagine they'll be there soon.

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  22. Tell you what, you can have all the candy corn I encounter. I can't stand the stuff. ._. My sweet tooth is primarily reserved for dark chocolate.

    But I do agree about eating unhealthily, I have a really bad obsession with butter...

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  23. I LOVE candy corns. I thought I was the only one! I think I still have a bag from last year, actually...

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  24. Candy Corns are my weakness.

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  25. I picked up on the shame units before you even highlighted it. Your subtlety rocks.
    I understand because for me its Runts. Available 365 days per year. Ellen

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  26. Luckily, for me... I detest those two candies!!! :P:

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  27. Why have I not tasted those two candies??? I'm curious. I like some sugary, chemical-y goodness in my belly.

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  28. Nerds. Goddamn nerds. I keep mini boxes in my purse, my desk, around the house in places I figure no kid will look (until, of course, she is PMSing and jonesing for Nerds. And frosting. LOOK IN THE FROSTING!). I absolutely, completely detest candy corn, sorry. And now they have inflitrated the sainthood that is Oreo. I'MA SPEW.

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  29. YES! FINALLY someone is as outraged as I am by the chocolate on the bottom candy corn!! FUCK THAT SHIT.

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  30. hahahahah!! :)) I totally agree with you on that one. I feel for you, because I have this thing where if I eat fried stuff it makes me feel sick real soon...but it still tastes good!! O.o

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