Monday, December 31, 2012

My Year in Review

Hi all! It's the end of the year. I know bloggyland is probably is empty, so I figured I should do a year in review post. Because, why not?

My Top Ten Most Popular Blog Posts of 2012 
(by pageviews)

Okay technically, this one is my pick. Blogger gave me the top ten blog posts, but one of them was from 2011 so I didn't want to put it up. I picked this one because I like my bible stories and historical reenactments a lot, but they don't show up elsewhere on this list. 

This post is from last January. It's short, but I guess it resonated with a lot of people whose boyfriends work with slutbags. (JK.) It's all good now, because that girl is long gone. Whew.

This post is jam-packed full of action. First, I suspected Boyfriend of trying to meet up with one of his sister wives at Lowes (he went to Utah on vacation, remember)? And then I built a grill. Because I'm awesome.

And this is the post about my fears about his Utah trip, including sister wives, canyons, and horrible disasters. And zombie sluts. ALWAYS fear zombie sluts.

Boyfriend and I tried to make a cursing alphabet, but we needed some help from you guys. Seriously, what curse word starts with an x?!? 

The first time I try to cut back my wine consumption. It worked...for a little while. Also, Boyfriend and I differ on what counts as one glass. Look, I'm not Saint Gia, okay?!? I like wine. Stop judging me.

I moved this year! It was very exciting. However, my internet company totally fucked me and I couldn't get internet for about a month. I need internet more than I need wine, so this was a major problem. Boyfriend came to my rescue, as usual. 

Why shouldn't adults go trick or treating for alcohol? Honestly, probably my most brilliant idea ever. I can't wait for it to catch on in real life. 

My drawings have gotten a liiiiiittle better since then.
This post is also from last January. I'm actually glad it made the list, because I'm revisiting that resolution on Wednesday. That's all I'm saying for now. 

And the most popular post of 2012 is....

Honestly, I'm shocked that this post made the top of the list. I guess a lot of you are frustrated that they put the halloween candy out SO EARLY in stores, huh? And you think candy corn is disgustingly addicting. Or just disgusting. (It's one of those love-it-or-hate-it things.) It's also chock full o' shame units. But damn, I wish I had some candy pumpkins right now. 

What do you guys think? Did I miss any?

Monday, December 24, 2012

The Nativity Story

Merry Christmas, everyone! Time to tell you all another Bible story - the birth of Jesus, Mayor-Gia-style.

There once was a lady named Mary:

She was super pregnant:

She had a husband named Joseph. He was not the father.

Around the time Mary was due, they had to travel to Bethlehem for a census.

A short while later…

Joseph knocked on the door.

The innkeeper, out of fear for his life, told them they could “go around back, where the animals are.”

Mary then gave birth among the animals. People try to make it sound all sweet and magical, but it was actually bloody and disgusting and painful, like most childbirths. Mary screamed a lot.

 But afterwards, they were happy.

A few days (or weeks or months, I have no idea) later, three wise man came bearing gifts.

And then they all sat around the baby Jesus and wrote Christmas songs.

Merry Christmas, Everyone!