Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Damnit Candy Corn

So, this is a repost from September 2012 because I feel very strongly about this topic still. I was going to try to whip up another post, but I decided this one is still pretty good and covers everything I have to say. 

Let’s talk about another addiction of mine. It’s not watching videos of puppies and kittens this time (though I still do that compulsively). It’s this:

You know what I mean right? The ones that are essentially all sugar? I LOVE the candy corn and candy pumpkins.

But not the “chocolate” candy corn bullshit.
Anyhoo, this is a problem for a few reasons.

1. When I inevitably eat too many of them, I feel super sick.

2. Have you looked at their ingredients?
Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating. But really, it’s sugar and chemicals. Fucking delicious sugar and chemicals.

3. How about their nutrition information?

Anyhoo, they make me feel terrible, they're terrible for me, and yet my mouth is watering whilst writing this post.

And you know what the worst part is? Because EVERYONE IS AN ASSHOLE, my food store starting displaying them in the beginning of August. I haven’t bought any (yet), but we’re still like a month and a half from Halloween!!

It’s just not fair. I even had a DREAM about this candy, guys. I’m not kidding.
Yes, yes you should.
Clearly, someone needs to do this:
They would have my business.
Who’s with me? Or who else is addicted to disgustingly bad-for-you yet indisputably delicious candy?


  1. I'm going to recycle my comment from last year, you know, to cut down on internet waste. But be warned, this was when I was going through my teenage-girl-in-puberty-whom-the-popular-girl-called-fat phase.
    "OMGod, I USED to like candy corn back when I didn't know they were, like, all made totally of sugar and glucose. That's like, the stuff girls who play softball are all into. Next you'll tell me you still like One Direction, that was so like totally last year. I mean, LOLaugh you guys, candy is so totally for like little kids and super sad old fat people. I care about MY body so I stay away from carbs and sugars, ROFloorL."
    Sorry, it was a dark time in my life.

  2. Blech! Hate candy corn and candy pumpkins! Unless it's chocolate I'm usually pretty good about staying away from it. My kryptonite will be Christmas candy - I'm a huge sucker for peppermint bark with white chocolate. NOM NOM NOM

  3. They have Starburst candy corn, now. That's about the closest I'll ever get to regular candy corn. Just kidding. I'll still be huddled in the corner of my office Halloween party slowly consuming these horrid candies for no apparent reason other than to give my hands and mouth something to do.

  4. Hi, I'm Dawn and I'm a candy corn addict.

  5. I don't think I ever had candy corn...

  6. Candy corn infused vodka. Just thought I'd share because I, too, have a problem.

  7. So, what's your stand on circus peanuts?

  8. I'm addicted to Reese's peanut butter eggs... Seriously. It gets ugly around here when Easters comes.

    Ask my kids...



  9. You are the only person I know who likes candy corn. You are more than welcome to help yourself to my portions.

  10. My wife loves candy corn. Like, she buys bags upon bags of it and hordes it since they only sell it this time of year. I can't stand it. Therefore it's your job to stock up on all of the candy corn and dispose of all of it via mouth so my wife can't buy anymore. Fair?

  11. It started with living next to a 7/11 and having Krispy Kremes almost every night... Then I moved next to an IGA... And the season of Raspberry Tartletts began... But the time is ripe for the Summer of Chocolate/Caramel bars from 7/11 BECAUSE THEY'RE ONLY $2!

  12. LOL! I hate candy corn, and circus peanuts too! My fiancee' loves candy corn. Yuck!

  13. I binged on candy corn last year. This year, I can't even look at a bag without wanting to puke.

  14. Strangely, I don't really like candy corn, but I love candy pumpkins. I am so brave and have so much willpower that I have not purchased any this year. I rule.


  15. 1. Candy corn/pumpkins are my super favorite ALONG WITH Jr. Mints and speckled eggs (at Easter). Hot Joe and Noah and I will spend HOURS watching cute kitty and puppy videos. And by we I primarily mean Hot Joe. He also followed 17 kitty and puppy groups on Instagrams and constantly makes me look. I will look happily if you give me candy corn (but NOT the chocolate kind).

  16. I can leave candy corn and pumpkins alone. But recently one of the other secretaries refilled my neighbor's candy dish with what appeared to be candy corn but tasted way yummier! They were in Fall/Halloween shapes too: corn ears, black cats, pumpkins etc. The corn ears tasted like bananas! The black cats were the chocolate candy corn flavor and after one I was done. But the light brown whatever they were tasted like maple - mm mm good! Still way too much sugar and thankfully that dish of candy didn't last long so I'm not tempted to pick out the banana ones!

  17. A few days ago I was in a lobby waiting for an appointment, and they had this huge decorative vase filled with candy corns, gourds, and fake leaves. This little kid came in with his mom, and he made a beeline for it. He was quick too, he had a handful of leaves and candy before his mamma could get out the word no.