Monday, June 20, 2016

F#*$%@ Fruit Flies

Last year, I had a fruit fly incident. I noticed a few of them buzzing around, but I did my best to ignore them and carry on with my business. then one day I came home from work to this:

Yes, a literal swarm of them. It was awful. 

Since that traumatic experience, I've been a little intense about them.

I pretty much keep hefty in business over the summer.

(yes this is a banana and tomato free household now.)
Ok, maybe I'm a little too intense. 

Solves the problem, though. 

What do you guys do about these tiny evil flying demons?

Monday, June 13, 2016

Trumpah troompah, doopity doo

I apologize in advance for this:

Oh yes, it's my Donald J Trump impression.

(To clarify: not good deals for his own companies. good deals for...someone, though. I guess. Kind of.)

Not me, of course. I love everyone who loves cats. 


Psst...trump has tiny hands. tell everyone.

I believe it's ironic that a man who looks like an oompa loomp fucked voldemort has repeatedly and viciously attacked women on their appearances. Or is that coincidental? I always get those two mixed up.

Monday, June 6, 2016

Gia vs Kitty, a Battle of Wills

Perhaps you guys remember that my cat had taken to waking me up around 5 am to feed her last May?

My solution was to buy a timed feeder and set it for 5 am, so my precious princess kitty can eat when she wants to.

After a brief period of adjustment, it's been working pretty smoothly. (Sure, kitty had that whole "smash self against the wall because i see a speck of light" thing going on, but I taped my shades shut and she's gotten over that.)

Anyway, kitty gets fed, Gia gets sleep, and everyone's happy.

Or at least, that's how it was. 

Suddenly, for the past four nights, this shit has started happened at 4:30 am.

Rolling over and/or yelling works for a few minutes. Then she comes back again and again.

So I either get up and manually open the feeder 15 minutes before it was set to open, or wake up repeatedly until it finally opens on its own.

I don't really want to start setting it earlier, because she's going to start demanding to eat in the middle of the night and then beg me for more food during the day. 

But, I want to sleep more. So I guess kitty wins this round. You want breakfast at 4:30 kitty? FINE. 

But then THIS shit happened a few hours later.

Yes, I literally jumped out of bed to yell at kitty.

Monday, May 30, 2016

Memorial Day 2016

(yes, i'm using the same memorial day drawing as last year. don't judge me. it's hot out.)

Monday, May 23, 2016

Spring Fever

Yep. My normally sweet sleepy princess kitty turns into a demon each spring, hell bent on destroying her personal source of hate:


Monday, May 16, 2016

A Douchebag, By the Numbers

Well, let's decide if we want to go there on the blog with a fun little trump Q&A! 

Question: How many public offices did this assclown hold before running for president?
Answer: None. He's come to political prominence for his role in the racist anti-obama anti-knowledge "birther" movement. 

Question: Oh right, he's a "business" man. How many businesses did he bankrupt?
Answer: Four

Question: How many people does he want to deport?
Answer:11 million

QuestionAnd he wants to ban all muslims from entering the US, of which there are how many worldwide?
Answer:1.6 billion

QuestionHow many former presidents endorsed Trump?
Answer: Zero

QuestionHow many times did he talk about the size of his junk during a primary presidential debate?
Answer: Technically only one horrible, horrible time. 

QuestionAccording to politifact, what % of trump's statements are false, mostly false, or pants on fire? 
Answer: 76%, which is honestly lower than I thought it'd be. Hillary & Bernie are both at about 30%, for the record.

QuestionAnddd just for funsies: How much is he worth and what did he pay in taxes last year?
Answer: No one knows because he refused to release his tax returns.