Monday, January 14, 2019

Foster Kitty, in Two Scenes

Hi all - I'm back but still kind of out of it, so you're getting a short but high quality post this week. 

Boyfriend has been fostering a little gray kitten for a couple of weeks now.  One night, he brought the kitten over to my place. I shall now depict these experiences in two scenes:

And scene 2:

My cat is a monster. Honestly, I didn't even KNOW cats could scream-hiss.  

Monday, January 7, 2019

Personal Health Weekend

So, I was oddly sick this week. Not entirely sure what was wrong, but I think I was having really bad GERD that eventually made my sinuses hurt and gave me a bad migraine. I'm (mostly) better now, but definitely didn't have it in me to make a post. Here's a throwback to when I used to have more tummy problems. 
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Dear Egg Foo Young,

I miss you, you evil delicious addictive bastard. I used to eat you every time Boyfriend and I got chinese. And every time, without fail, I’d feel completely sick after:

Yet, you were so tasty, I’d let the cycle of abuse to continue and order you again next time. Even after that time you gave me food poisoning.

You had to be greasy, didn’t you? You knew I can’t eat greasy foods without feeling miserable after.

Boyfriend finally helped me see the light.
He pointed out that it was made in approximately 67 cups of oil.
And then I had an epiphany.

And just like that, I was free from your evil nausea inducing grasp. Boyfriend and I got Chinese over the weekend. And what did I order?
For some reason I was intense about it.
Sure, I miss you an itty bit. Sure, I was thinking of the egg foo young whilst eating the tofu.

But, I didn’t want to vomit all over Boyfriend immediately after eating tofu. So, it’s tofu that I’ll be sticking with.

GOODBYE, EGG FOO YOUNG! Your wretched grease-filled deliciousness will no longer have any power over me!

Mayor Gia

PS. But seriously, if I ever cure the probable h pylori that makes me feel so sick when I eat you, let’s talk.

Monday, December 31, 2018

Happy New Year 2019!

Happy New Year, everyone! I wish you all happiness, health, and willpower to separate yourself from your electronic devices for extended periods of time!

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Merry Christmas!

Since the war is still waging, enjoy this re-post.

Today's the day we lay down our arms and say it, you guys. 

Merry Christmas!

Monday, December 24, 2018

It's Christmas Eve!

Yep, annual throwback. Merry Christmas, everyone!

A Visit from St. Nicholas (with art by Mayor Gia)
By Clement Clarke Moore

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

That is a lie.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds;
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave a lustre of midday to objects below,
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer,
With a little old driver so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment he must be St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donder and Blixen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
So up to the housetop the coursers they flew
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too—
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a pedler just opening his pack.

His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly
That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

Now he's just bragging.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! And if you need more Mayor Gia Christmas, check out the oldie but goodie Nativity Story !

Sunday, December 23, 2018

Time for Christmas Posts!

Yes, this is a throwback. I don't care. It's great. 

Santa and the Naughty Elf, revisited. 

It's not that Gia Elf isn't happy for Santa Boyfriend, it's just that Santa Boyfriend needs to be a little more sensitive to the fact that not everyone skips a meal and loses 6 pounds.

Gia Elf is sure the cookies are unrelated to the weight loss. They're magical Christmas cookies.

She'll be a fun addition to the sleigh this year!

So Santa Boyfriend and Gia Elf tackled present delivery as a couples activity, and they both loved it. 

And they had the best Christmas ever. 

All the presents got delivered. And then Santa took a nap for 45 days. 

Merry Christmas!