Monday, May 18, 2015

Don't Stop Thinking About Kitty

Probably listen to this as you read for the full effect.

If you wake up and don't want to smile
If you hit snooze just a little while
Open your eyes and get out of bed
Or your damn cat will stand on your head.

Don't stop meowing at Gia
Don't stop til she gets her ass up
Breakfast will be sooner than before
Hunger is gone, hunger is gone!

Why not chase around the toys and run
And use the laser pointer for some fun
If that red dot won't come to you
Just think what your claws can do!

Don't stop looking out the window
Don't stop the birds will soon be here
Hopefully they'll get closer than before
My freedom is gone, my freedom is gone!

All I want is to murder a bird
If I can't then I will be heard
I know you don't believe that it's true,
I definitely mean some harm to you.

Don't stop meowing on the futon
Don't stop meowing in bed
It'll be louder than before
Peace and quiet is gone, peace and quiet is gone!

Monday, May 11, 2015

Alarm Cat 3000

Introducing the state-of-the-art new and improved ALARM CAT 3000

Having trouble getting up in the morning? Just buy yourself an Alarm Cat! It comes in two settings: the first crack of dawn or the first bird chirping!

Unlike normal alarm clocks that run out of batteries or won't work during a power outage, nothing stops Alarm Cat from doing its job!

And there's more! Alarm Cat 3000 comes with a snooze setting! Just drag your ass out of bed, feed it its morning meal, and go back to sleep for up to 20 minutes*

*or as long as it takes alarm cat to eat the food, clean itself, and demand more attention.

Alarm Cat 3000, order yours today!

Monday, May 4, 2015

Just a Little Summer Cold

(And the truth is, my traitor cat was curled up on Boyfriend last night. What an asshole.)

I'm reacting appropriately, I believe.

Sigh. It's tragic. I'll be fine, though. Probably. 

 Summer colds are the worst, yes? Yes. 

Monday, April 27, 2015

Nintendo Forever

So, my mom and I have been going through my childhood room in preparation for an upcoming garage sale. I'm ok with getting rid most things.

Needless to say, I brought my old N64 back to my apartment with men and managed to hook it up myself.
wires wires everywhere

I immediately started playing again. And doing nothing else.

I told everyone I was playing Mario Kart, because that's still kind of cool/relevant.

But the truth?

Ok, I played Mario Party too. Bowser's a dick. Anyway, that's what I was up to all weekend

Did you guys play Nintendo or Nintendo 64? Anyone still a secret old school gamer?

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Wednesday, April 22, 2015


Boyfriend and I went for a walk last weekend, and then this happened:

Don't worry, it was only a tiny bit of burn. Thank god the weather is finally not total shit. What are your signs of summer?

(And in other news - podcast is coming back this week! We have it done, but the internet is being shitty right now so it won't upload. Womp womp.)

Monday, April 20, 2015

Happy 4/20!

Throwback Monday: In honor of 4/20 (aka Boyfriend's favorite holiday), here's a weed post. Enjoy!
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So, as you may have heard, we recently had an election.

Washing and Colorado approved referendums legalizing marijuana for recreational use.

George Takei said this awesome thing about it:

Obviously, the news is doing a lot of stories on this. And it’s awesome. The Daily Show had a segment where they showed some newscasters reactions, like Brian Williams (the coolest stoner ever) and some douchasaurus from fox news. He said something like this:

Seriously, you guys. I love this phrase. I’m not even a big toker. I just love this phrase.  I plan on incorporating into my vocabulary as often as possible.

Has someone made a song and music video for this phrase yet?

Rap cameo. And yes, I meant to leave some brown in their by Boyfriend's hair. Because it's one of those dred-wig things.

You know, something like that.

But seriously, what? I mean there’s so many phrases he could have used instead

But no, he chose to bestow this comedy gold onto the population.

I wanna put this phrase on everything in my life.


Sorry, houseplant. 

Anyway, that’s my new thing. I’m like this close to changing the name of my blog. Or just modifying it.

UPDATE: Due to one person's popular demand, I MADE T SHIRTS!! Check out the girl here, the boy here, and the plain one here.  WOOHOOOOO!