Monday, October 17, 2016

Pussies Against Grabbing

Some of you longtime readers might remember the DARD - Ducks Against Raping Ducks - movement of 2012-13. 
its effect on duck rape remains to be seen

Well, I guess that inspired someone else, because I recently came home to this:

But let's not forget the fact that trump is a misogynist piece of shit

at least its not breitbart.
Typical low-information kitty. Anyway, she's starting a movement. Enjoy:

Sunday, October 9, 2016

Out of the Clown Car, into the Pussy Wagon

Oh, did you not catch the republican candidate for president, donald j trump, talk about how he likes to "grab em by the pussy"? Really? Well, just turn on any television or any news site and take a quick look before coming back to this post. 

 Oh, what's that, you ask?

YES, ahead of the game on this one! No more being the last one on the trendy bus! *starts playing "we are the champions" on zune*. I'M SO RELEVANT. 

Seriously tho, those clown sightings are creepy as fuuuuuck
 Yeah, enjoy your "what color is this dress" costumes, millennials. That was so 2015. I'm cutting edge here. 

[It's not because she's female and society values her opinions less than a male cat. It's because she's a jill stein supporter who is only concerned about cat-owned businesses and a nonexistent catnip shortage and I just can't with her anymore. Just can't.]

*basks in glory of greatness*

Monday, September 26, 2016


My Saturday:


Good times. But then I chatted with Boyfriend. 

UGH. Overachievers. 

In my defense, I'm just trying to bond with kitty by engaging in her activities on the weekend. She's quite good at sleeping/sitting/texting/snapping at Boyfriend.

Monday, September 19, 2016

The Destroyer and the DVD Player

So, Boyfriend and I were hanging out like usual. 

And then this happened:

Boyfriend recently made me suggested I get a universal remote, since the volume didn't really work on the old one. (That's a whole other post...that mainly involves me shrieking at the television.)

Boyfriend the Hero got up and took a look at my dvd set up. 

Yep. What an asshole. But then I realized the potential danger. 

(Boyfriend's not kitty's biggest fan.)

So I pulled kitty out of the wardrobe she was sleeping in, and gave her a stern talking to. 

Yeah, she's pretty disrespectful. We're working on it.  

Ain't no shame in my cat-chasing game. What horrible things have your cats/dogs/babies/significant others eaten?

Monday, September 12, 2016


On Saturday, I went grocery shopping and noticed a new parking spot sign. 

Then I noticed another sign on the spot right next to that one:


Well, ok.  First, let me say that I'm totally fine with courtesy spaces for people who don't have a handicapped plate but may otherwise have a condition/situation that would be helped by parking closer. Sure. 

But - aren't these really specific signs? I mean, what happens if the pregnant lady parks in the toddler spot? Exactly how old does a kid have to be before they age out of the toddler spot? What if you have a little kid that can't toddle yet?

And, what about other things that should justify getting a close parking spot?

I propose the addition of the following parking spot signs:

FACT: thousands of millenials die each year by texting and walking into traffic. Let millenials park closer and save lives. 

You know what happens when you hold your pee too long? Bladder infections. FACT: bladder infections lead to DEATH. Let people who have to pee park closer and save lives

FACT: Cats are awesome and I deserve to park closer because of it. 

*Grits teeth* I will not make two trips from the car to my apartment. 

People who want to carry their groceries are heroes and therefore should be rewarded for their valor. 

People who go to parties are cool. Cool people get better spots. That's how the cookie crumbles. 

People who try new recipes are courageous and we should accommodate their need to pick up just one more thing. 

[Trigger warning] These people are the victims of weather. Would you really further victimize these weather victims by making them park far away? 

And finally:

These superpeople/gods/aliens/machines/hulks/bat hybrids/cat hybrids have SAVED HUMANITY. At the very least,  should they not be allowed to park 10-12 feet closer than us mere mortals? 

What parking spot sign would you add?

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Happy Birthday Boyfriend!

What's this? A special Tuesday blog post?!?

My post of shame from that incident. 

Yay Boyfriend's birthday! Yay presents! YAY CAKE!!