Thursday, September 18, 2014

Throwback Thursday: Dentists are Sadists.

Throwback Thursday: Because I have to go this sadist TWICE a year. Stupid cleanings. Stupid teeth. Stupid.
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I had to go to the dentist last week. I was scared. Should I have been scared?  Yep.

Until a few weeks ago, when I realized I’ve had dental insurance for over a year and no longer have any excuse for not going to the dentist.

So, I went.

On the up side, the hygienist was friendly and nice. Not like my last experience with Doctor.

On the down side, it was like a scene out of Dexter (not that I’ve ever seen Dexter. But I do have an imagination.)

It hurt. A lot. Even with the numbing gel.

You know it’s been too long since you went to the dentist when they have to say things like:

Let this be a lesson to you all.  Go to the dentist. Now. Before the plaque on your teeth hardens and the dentist has to use a scalpel to get it off and blood shoots everywhere and you’re totally traumatized.

And a quick follow up note: I had two cavities. I got one filled last week, and hung out with Boyfriend right after, when my mouth was still numb.

So quick, go to a dentist before you have to get a cavity filled and it looks like you have bells palsy and your significant other doesn’t want to kiss you. 

Monday, September 15, 2014

Boyfriend's Coming Back!

As you know, Boyfriend's been on a trip for the past couple of weeks. I've been...hanging. He's coming back this week, though!

There was no need to waste makeup/water/laundry when Boyfriend was away, frankly.
Anyway, I'm anticipating a conversation like this:

Yay!! Excuse me, I'll be flexing my hug muscles in anticipation of Boyfriend's return.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Throwback Thursday: My Not So Secret Addiction

Throwback Thursday: Seeing as how Boyfriend is still on his trip, I've been embracing this puppy/kitten watching disease. Also, ducks. I like ducks. 
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To what, you ask?

Sigh. I kind of don’t want to tell you guys. But I will. Because honesty is my policy.


But seriously guys. Friday nights with Boyfriend have pretty much turned into this:

Is there a support group for people like me? I need help.

Monday, September 8, 2014

UNGHHH Boyfriend’s Away Still

Boyfriend is still on his trip to visit parks/sights out west. Scary places like DEATH VALLEY.

See? Better.


In the meantime, Kitty and I have been holding down the fort here.

And then when she does go after it, she ends up antagonizing it and then losing it!! Or if she manages to murder it, she just bats it around and leaves it for me. Kitty, is it too much to ask for you to EAT the bugs?!?! Sheesh. It's not like you pay rent

Yep, we’ve been keeping busy alright.

What’s up with you guys? Anything more exciting than this? (Yes. The answer must be yes.)

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Throwback Thursday: Rational Fears about Boyfriend's Trip

Throwback Thursday: Since Boyfriend is once again going out west where there are whores and cougars and bears and giant canyons he can fall into, this post feels especially relevant this week. 
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So, as I mentioned last week, Boyfriend is on vacation with his kids for a whole 10 days. He’s going to the Grand Canyon and other parks in Arizona/Utah.

And since hey, I’m crazy, I’m having some concerns about this trip, much like when he went to New Orleans.  What am I worried about, you ask?

1. Cougars.
Not this kind:
Remember her?
But this kind:
Yes, a cougar does look surprisingly like a lioness. Shut up.

2. Wives. 
He’s going to Utah too. What if he converts to Mormonism there and comes back with a bunch of wives?!?

Here, let me break it down for you:
Clicky to make bigger and read.
I fear this will happen:

This is how it works, right?

Watch yourself, Boyfriend.

3. The Canyon itself
It’s a giant hole, right?!? WHAT IF HE FALLS IN?!?!

Suddenly realizing that I’ve made it painfully obvious that I have not yet been to the grand canyon.

4. Zombie Sluts

Just cuz. I mean, you never know where they'll show up.

Anyhoo, I googled “scary things about the grand canyon” and other fears now include mules on the trails, freezing, starving, drowning, sunburn, but really the multiple wives thing.

Only 6 more days til he comes home!