Monday, January 14, 2019

Foster Kitty, in Two Scenes

Hi all - I'm back but still kind of out of it, so you're getting a short but high quality post this week. 

Boyfriend has been fostering a little gray kitten for a couple of weeks now.  One night, he brought the kitten over to my place. I shall now depict these experiences in two scenes:

And scene 2:

My cat is a monster. Honestly, I didn't even KNOW cats could scream-hiss.  

Monday, January 7, 2019

Personal Health Weekend

So, I was oddly sick this week. Not entirely sure what was wrong, but I think I was having really bad GERD that eventually made my sinuses hurt and gave me a bad migraine. I'm (mostly) better now, but definitely didn't have it in me to make a post. Here's a throwback to when I used to have more tummy problems. 
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Dear Egg Foo Young,

I miss you, you evil delicious addictive bastard. I used to eat you every time Boyfriend and I got chinese. And every time, without fail, I’d feel completely sick after:

Yet, you were so tasty, I’d let the cycle of abuse to continue and order you again next time. Even after that time you gave me food poisoning.

You had to be greasy, didn’t you? You knew I can’t eat greasy foods without feeling miserable after.

Boyfriend finally helped me see the light.
He pointed out that it was made in approximately 67 cups of oil.
And then I had an epiphany.

And just like that, I was free from your evil nausea inducing grasp. Boyfriend and I got Chinese over the weekend. And what did I order?
For some reason I was intense about it.
Sure, I miss you an itty bit. Sure, I was thinking of the egg foo young whilst eating the tofu.

But, I didn’t want to vomit all over Boyfriend immediately after eating tofu. So, it’s tofu that I’ll be sticking with.

GOODBYE, EGG FOO YOUNG! Your wretched grease-filled deliciousness will no longer have any power over me!

Mayor Gia

PS. But seriously, if I ever cure the probable h pylori that makes me feel so sick when I eat you, let’s talk.