Saturday, February 18, 2012

Special Saturday Post!

Well, that title is misleading, because this isn't a real post at all. Two things:

I want to thank Cranface from The Cranface Chronicles for this lovely blog award: 

So sweet! 

Also, I'm guest blogging over at Charlotte's Web today. The topic? Ten things that make me happy! You guys should definitely check it out -- she's in England, so I have no idea what time "today" the post is going up, but yeah. Check it out. Time zones are my weaknesses.

Anyway, I hope everyone is continuing to have a great weekend! Monday is President's Day, so I'm taking the day off and enjoying the three day weekend. I'll be back Tuesday!

Friday, February 10, 2012

One Day I Hope to Own a Cat

So, I’m sure it’s no surprise to you that I want a cat. My sister has two kitties, and I love them even when they’re total bitches. However, I’m sure some of you are wondering why I don’t currently have one, especially because I work in a city that is filled with feral cats and honestly with a little tuna I think I could convince one to get in my car. Yeah, they’re all pretty whorey with their kitty STDs, but that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve love. 

No one teaches cats Stranger Danger.
Also, you some of you guys offered up your own cats to me on twitter, which is awesome. But also makes me wonder why you want to get rid of these little balls of fluff. Are they secretly criminal masterminds? No, right?

Anyway, for now I just read kitty blogs and keep hoping. Here  are some reasons why I don’t have a cat yet:

My Lease Says "No Pets" 

I plan on moving out when my lease is up, so that might take care of that one.

I know I know, cats are cheap. Cheaper than dogs and babies for sure. But there are still some kitty expenses:
  • Monthly rent with pets can go up 30-50 bucks in this area
  • Kitty food
  • Kitty litter
  • Adorable kitty toys
  • Vet bills when kitty chooses to ignore kitty toys for household products

Anyhoo, money is tight, and a cat is a commitment. You cant just feed them ramen noodles, right? 

Oh yeah, I may be slightly allergic to cats. I didn’t have one growing up, and a few years ago I got my sister cats for her birthday. Now after I hang out with them/force them to cuddle with me, my eyes itch a lot.  And I feel kinda crappy when I go home, but not sure if that is just kitty allergies or going home. 

So yeah. No kitty for Gia yet. 

But once I move out, somehow manage to make more money, and decide “fuck allergies,” I’m totally gonna steal me a kitty. 

On another note, guess who has two thumbs and got tagged in another question thingy? *points to self* THIS GIRL. Boo-yah! This one is from Handflapper, who is super awesome not only because she complimented my popcorn spoon idea. Here we go:

1. What is your most irrational, ridiculous fear and in what way, if any, does this interfere with your daily activities?
I feel like you designed this question with me in mind. How do I pick one? Zombie, demons, ninjas who want to break in my home...the list is endless. It doesn't interfere with my life because my craziness is just who I am.

2. Have you ever had head lice, and if yes, when?
NOPE! I'm proud of this one.

3. Picard or Kirk, and why? And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, you should. Shame on you.
I had to google this. No comment.

4. How often, ever if, do you sweep/vacuum your floors? clue. Like once a month? I'm dirty. I don't know how Boyfriend puts up with it.

5. What is the scariest movie you have ever seen?
Hook. It gave me crazy bad nightmares as a kid. (Oh, you mean as an adult? Dunno. The Ring?)

6. What is the worst movie you have ever seen? (I love both scary and poorly made movies with all my heart.)
Hmmm...I dunno if its WORST, but Midnight in Paris is certainly up there.

7. Have you ever peed in the shower? HONEST ANSWERS ONLY.
I'm not going to answer that but I'll tell you this story: apparently, one time when I was a little kid and my sister and I were taking a bath together, I pooed in the tub. I was not only enough to remember, but she was. I enjoy knowing this happened.

8. What is it about coffee that you people like so much?
It's the sweet sweet nectar of the gods and I am totally addicted to it.

9. Would you rather have a cupcake or a real, honest-to-goodness as-god-intended-it piece of cake? Think carefully before answering. I’ll totally judge you if you say cupcake.
I've never felt so self conscious about liking cupcakes before.

10. How many Jeremy London movies have you seen, and for god’s sake, why?

11. Can you recommend any hardy menstruating prostitutes for a Bigfoot expedition?
No. Boyfriend would probably volunteer me for the role. Luckily, he is not answering this. 

Whew! Those were tough! Have a great weekend everyone, I'll see you on Twitter!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

How I Eat Popcorn and Why It’s Way Better Than the Way You Do It

So, as you may have seen on twitter, I’ve come up with a genius way of eating popcorn. Sure it’s a bit odd so I can only eat it this way when I’m totally alone, but still. First, here are all the inferior ways of eating it:

With Your Fingers

Ick.  So you get greasy  popcorn juice (also known as butter) all over yourself? And then you can’t use your laptop or trackpad while eating it. Pass.

With a Cup

Boyfriend’s choice. So you can spill popcorn all over yourself? PASS.

Lizard Style

Okay, I don’t hate this one, especially when the bowl is full. But when its almost empty and you gotta stick your whole head in it to get to the popcorn, you get popcorn juice all over your face! Not good.

Those are all terrible, right? Well, here’s my idea!

With a Spoon

See guys? Mess free! No butter on your hands/mouth/face/laptop/couch/bedsheets. And no popcorn all over the place! C'mon, I’m a genius, right?!

 But seriously, is there a way to get a patent on popcorn eating spoons? You know, indistinguishable from regular spoons, but you use them to eat popcorn. Can I trademark this?

And more importantly, can other people pleas please please start eating popcorn this way, so I don’t feel so damn weird for doing it? Thanks. 

Okay, so while you're judging me for that (seriously, stop judging me. it's genius.), I need to answer some questions because I was tagged in that Pass It On thing by TWO awesome bloggers. I don't entirely understand it but I get that I'm supposed to answer their questions, I think. Or something. Anyway, first we have Jacqui at chicktuition, who asked for "5 Random Insights into Your Soul:"

1. My soul likes old guys. Gross? Maybe. It is what it is. 
2. Even though a cat may steal a part of my soul, I want one. Badly.
3. My soul thinks I can sing. But the rest of me knows I can't. So, I only sing alone in the car.
4. My soul makes me eat babies to feed itself. 
5. My soul likes kidding about me eating babies (bad soul! bad!).

I'm bad at these.

Kristen at The Preppy Girl in Pink. Here are her questions:

1.  What’s the first thing you do when your alarm goes off in the morning?
Turn it off! I HATE loud noises. If I have any messages on my phone I'll check them.

2.  What does your favorite date night consist of?
Anything with Boyfriend. Actually, anything other than watching Midnight in Paris. Usually we have a pretty good time staying in and watching a movie. Maybe going to dinner first. We're low key, but it works for us.

3.  What is your favorite comedy movie?
Eeek! I don't know. That's hard. Boyfriend and I both loved Bridesmaids, so that's a current fave. I don't have an all time fave. I don't like committing to things like that.

4.  What was your first car and how did you come about ownership?
Uhhh a dodge neon. Bought it at a gas station. Bad decision. 

5.  What is your go to snack while chilling in front of the TV?

6.  Name a famous person in present day that you would like to go shopping with and describe why.
Umm...that's tough. My first thought was "NO ONE I HATE SHOPPING." But actually, maybe Oprah. Cuz she'd probably pick up the tab, right?

....I'm sorry I made you guys suffer though my craptastic answers. Aren't you happy you're that much closer to me now? 

Okay, go dig up some spoons and eat some popcorn, please.