Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Boyfriend is My Hero

So, I moved! YAAAAY! It was stressful (as all moves are), but I’m super happy to be in my new apartment. I’ll post more about it later. Right now, I’m having an issue.

A few weeks ago, I made an appointment for the cable/internet company to come hook me up the Tuesday after I moved – so I’d only be without internet for a day or so. Which is good, because not having internet makes me shaky.

So, whilst I was mid move, I got a phone call. You may see where this is going.

That’s right, I’m not getting the cable/internet I ordered for THREE WEEKS.

Horrible, right?! Like seriously, wtf am I supposed to do. I can live without tv, but NOT internet.  I’d seriously have to set up shop in a cafĂ© after work every day.

Anyway, Boyfriend came over on Monday to check out the new place and talk me down from this internet issue. I showed him that all of my untrusting neighbors had password protected their connections.
People these days! No one trusts anyone.

[In case you’re wondering, yes, I will be password protecting my internet connection. I pay a lot of money for it! Shut up.]

The only unpassword protected accounts were the “hotspots” and I didn’t have an account with any of them.

And then he went from this:

To this:

WOOOHOOOO! So, I have shaky internet access. Really shaky. Like, I can’t stream videos in my bedroom, but I can do it from the living room.

In Bedroom

Yeah, we’re watching game of thrones.

In living room.
It still froze a few times. Boyfriend and I are gonna have to watch a lot of redbox for the next few weeks.

So, yeah. Better than nothing. If I’m not commenting as much on your blog (or posting as much), don’t be offended/upset. The internet periodically craps out completely, and then I’ll get shaky connections only in certain places in my apartment.  As I was trying to put this up, I had to switch rooms twice. The universe is trying to test my patience. It’s not going great.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

In Another Episode of Weird Pictures that Have No Context...

Remember Pigletta? And Bear-a-rina

If I was giving someone an elephant as a present, I would put a giant bow on her. Also, her name is Ellie.

Monday, May 21, 2012


Hi all! I'm moving today, and I don't get internet installed until tomorrow. It's possible I'll be able to steal the neighbor's internet. But if not, I'll hopefully be hooked up tomorrow!

Friday, May 18, 2012

Embarrassing Things About Myself: Sunrash

Linking up with yeahwrite! I know I'm early this week, but I'll be offline moving all weekend...]

Hi all. You know what I thought would be fun? If I were to share embarrassing things about myself.

Imaginary Reader: You already do that! Remember how needy and insecure you get?
Hey hey hey, screw YOU. This is different.
Imaginary Reader: How?!
It just is.

Anyways! So it’s finally May. Which means springtime and nice weather and bright shining sunshine.
Mr. Sun is gonna fuck you up.
Unfortunately, I have this embarrassing reaction to the sun. See, I don’t just burn (but I mean, I do burn. I totally burn.) I also get this weird itchy sunrash every spring. It goes away after a few times in the sun, but it’s annoying and looks kind of like poison ivy.

Normal Arm:

My arm:

Imaginary Reader: That’s not a real thing.
Actually asshole, it is. See here  and here. I’m allergic to the sun y’all.

I heard that you can grow out of it, so every year I hope for the best. And every year I go out in the sun and transform:

Of course, this year I saw Boyfriend the next day. He was not sympathetic.

Uncool, Boyfriend.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Attic Squeaking

So, I’m moving this weekend, away from craptastic apartment with all its problems. Of course, the apartment has to get me one more time before I go. Now, it’s this squeaking noise I hear by my closet, where the door to the attic is.
I’ve decided it must be one of the following:

1. Filled with mice

2. Filled with rats

They look like bigger mice, right?

3. Shoddy piping

...I wouldn't be able to see that.

4. Filled with birds
Argh. Birds and their motherfucking chirping.

5. Filled with bats. Do bats squeak?
I think they do. 

6. Filled with demons

That last one seems more likely. Boyfriend told me to open the closet door. I said NO FUCKING WAY until all my stuff is out of the closet and I have running shoes on and a baseball bat to beat away all the things that could come attack me. Shudder.