Wednesday, October 30, 2013

The Salem Witch Trials

(a retelling by Mayor Gia)

In the spirit of Halloween, I’ve decided to retell the Salem Witch Trials. 

Back in 1692, a couple of girls decided it would be fun to start spreading foul and odious lies about people in their village.

 Poor Gia was accused of witchcraft, and brought before a judge.  The judge also happened to be her Boyfriend.  He was somewhat intimidated by her and her trendy hat and multiple cats.

Me, bitter? What?

So poor Gia was burned at the stake.

And Boyfriend thought he was free.

But Boyfriend was not that lucky.

So that’s how I like to think the Salem Witch Trials happened. I like this version much better than the real story, where a bunch of innocent women were murdered because bitches be cray.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Birthday Weekend!

We celebrated my birthday this weekend.

That’s right, because I’m the best girlfriend ever, I made an apple pie for Boyfriend and me for my birthday even though it’s his favorite desert.


(Ok, ok, I had an excess of apples because I went apple picking so it kind of just worked out.)

Anyhoo, and then Boyfriend gave me his present.

So yes, I’m now the proud owner of an ipad 2. Because Boyfriend is the best.

What’s the best birthday gift you ever got?

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Damnit Candy Corn

So, this is a repost from September 2012 because I feel very strongly about this topic still. I was going to try to whip up another post, but I decided this one is still pretty good and covers everything I have to say. 

Let’s talk about another addiction of mine. It’s not watching videos of puppies and kittens this time (though I still do that compulsively). It’s this:

You know what I mean right? The ones that are essentially all sugar? I LOVE the candy corn and candy pumpkins.

But not the “chocolate” candy corn bullshit.
Anyhoo, this is a problem for a few reasons.

1. When I inevitably eat too many of them, I feel super sick.

2. Have you looked at their ingredients?
Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating. But really, it’s sugar and chemicals. Fucking delicious sugar and chemicals.

3. How about their nutrition information?

Anyhoo, they make me feel terrible, they're terrible for me, and yet my mouth is watering whilst writing this post.

And you know what the worst part is? Because EVERYONE IS AN ASSHOLE, my food store starting displaying them in the beginning of August. I haven’t bought any (yet), but we’re still like a month and a half from Halloween!!

It’s just not fair. I even had a DREAM about this candy, guys. I’m not kidding.
Yes, yes you should.
Clearly, someone needs to do this:
They would have my business.
Who’s with me? Or who else is addicted to disgustingly bad-for-you yet indisputably delicious candy?