I Never Should Have Went into Five Below

So, Boyfriend and I were hanging out last weekend, and we had to run some errands. I needed to buy some critical supplies, like this kick ass popcorn maker:

 Cool, right?

The Popcorn Spoon. It's kind of a thing.

 

I also needed to buy a couple of hand weights. 

Boyfriend suggested we go to five below. I’ve been there once or twice, but I didn’t really remember it.

It's wondrous

For those of you who don’t know, five below is a store where everything is five bucks or less. Like a jacked up dollar store for rich people.

We went in and I got my hand weights – five bucks each! Awesome sauce.

But then I made the mistake of looking  around.

I ended up only buying the weights and an iphone cover. But DAMN. That store is a cheapo/poor person’s dream. Seriously. Boyfriend created a monster

The Kitten Jog

Time for another Mayor Gia exercise! This one involves getting off the futon.

Yes.

Get ready for this:

Step 1: Have Boyfriend come over with a bicycle.

OMG you guys, I worked so hard on that bike drawing

Step 2: Attach wagon to bicycle.

Step 3. Find kitten. 

(like one of the feral ones at your work)

Step 4: Put kitten in wagon.

Step 5: Have Boyfriend ride bicycle.

Step 6: Try to catch kitten.

Ta-DA! Enjoy.

[*kitten can be replaced by bunny puppy or duckling, as needed]

Football Season is Coming to an End

I decided to have a little chat with Popsicle the Polar Bear and Allie.

Me: Hey guys! How’s it going?

Popsicle: How about those football games last weekend! Yeah!

Allie: Yes, we watched the football games and very much enjoyed the footballing.

Popsicle: WOOHOOO 49ers!!!

Allie: Yes, that’s the team we were cheering for.

Me: Allie…do you even like football?

Allie: Yes, yes I do. We like to watch the men throw the football around the court-

Popsicle: FIELD

Allie: Right, field. It’s a fun thing for us to watch together.

Me: Allie, who else is in the superbowl?

Allie: The what?

Popsicle: Damnit, Allie! The Ravens!

Allie: I would like to eat a raven.

Popsicle: Why is it always about food with you?

Allie: Uhh…how about because I’m a motherfreaking alligator, Popsicle! Those arms of the footballers look tasty!

Popsicle: Player. They’re football players.

Allie: Yeah yeah, same thing. Anyway, we can’t wait to watch the big bowl together!

Popsicle: SUPERBOWL! And you promise not to talk the whole time again??

Allie: …

Popsicle: Allie….

Allie:  You know I can’t do that.

Popsicle: Damnit.

Allie: WOOHOO LET’S GO FORTY-TWOers!

Popsicle: 49ers!

Allie: What? I’m only seven away!

Me: Eh, close enough.

Popsicle: Leave me alone. I’ll watch the game with Boyfriend.

How do you guys feel about the superbowl? Are you more Allie-like or Popsiclely?

Five Stages of Wine Grief

[Linking up with yeahwrite!]

1. Denial

2. Anger

3. Bargaining

4. Depression

5. Acceptance

Has this ever happened to anyone else? Luckily, it has a happy ending...

Yaaay! Not as good as wine, but it'll do.

MLK!

I keed, I keed. But I am one of the lucky ones to have today off, so I'll be fucking around catching up on housework today.