Wednesday, February 8, 2012

How I Eat Popcorn and Why It’s Way Better Than the Way You Do It



So, as you may have seen on twitter, I’ve come up with a genius way of eating popcorn. Sure it’s a bit odd so I can only eat it this way when I’m totally alone, but still. First, here are all the inferior ways of eating it:

With Your Fingers

Ick.  So you get greasy  popcorn juice (also known as butter) all over yourself? And then you can’t use your laptop or trackpad while eating it. Pass.

With a Cup

Boyfriend’s choice. So you can spill popcorn all over yourself? PASS.

Lizard Style

Okay, I don’t hate this one, especially when the bowl is full. But when its almost empty and you gotta stick your whole head in it to get to the popcorn, you get popcorn juice all over your face! Not good.

Those are all terrible, right? Well, here’s my idea!

With a Spoon


See guys? Mess free! No butter on your hands/mouth/face/laptop/couch/bedsheets. And no popcorn all over the place! C'mon, I’m a genius, right?!

 But seriously, is there a way to get a patent on popcorn eating spoons? You know, indistinguishable from regular spoons, but you use them to eat popcorn. Can I trademark this?


And more importantly, can other people pleas please please start eating popcorn this way, so I don’t feel so damn weird for doing it? Thanks. 


-----------------------------------
Okay, so while you're judging me for that (seriously, stop judging me. it's genius.), I need to answer some questions because I was tagged in that Pass It On thing by TWO awesome bloggers. I don't entirely understand it but I get that I'm supposed to answer their questions, I think. Or something. Anyway, first we have Jacqui at chicktuition, who asked for "5 Random Insights into Your Soul:"


1. My soul likes old guys. Gross? Maybe. It is what it is. 
2. Even though a cat may steal a part of my soul, I want one. Badly.
3. My soul thinks I can sing. But the rest of me knows I can't. So, I only sing alone in the car.
4. My soul makes me eat babies to feed itself. 
5. My soul likes kidding about me eating babies (bad soul! bad!).


I'm bad at these.


NEXT! 
Kristen at The Preppy Girl in Pink. Here are her questions:


1.  What’s the first thing you do when your alarm goes off in the morning?
Turn it off! I HATE loud noises. If I have any messages on my phone I'll check them.


2.  What does your favorite date night consist of?
Anything with Boyfriend. Actually, anything other than watching Midnight in Paris. Usually we have a pretty good time staying in and watching a movie. Maybe going to dinner first. We're low key, but it works for us.


3.  What is your favorite comedy movie?
Eeek! I don't know. That's hard. Boyfriend and I both loved Bridesmaids, so that's a current fave. I don't have an all time fave. I don't like committing to things like that.


4.  What was your first car and how did you come about ownership?
Uhhh a dodge neon. Bought it at a gas station. Bad decision. 


5.  What is your go to snack while chilling in front of the TV?
Wine.


6.  Name a famous person in present day that you would like to go shopping with and describe why.
Umm...that's tough. My first thought was "NO ONE I HATE SHOPPING." But actually, maybe Oprah. Cuz she'd probably pick up the tab, right?


....I'm sorry I made you guys suffer though my craptastic answers. Aren't you happy you're that much closer to me now? 


Okay, go dig up some spoons and eat some popcorn, please.

48 comments:

  1. I remember the twitter bit and how you eat popcorn. I also remember confessing that the lizard method is a fun way to eat it. I think you are alone in the spoon method. I mean really, how much popcorn can you get to sit on a spoon? Too civilized for my taste! Do you eat candy bars with a fork and knife?

    Popcorn can only be eaten by cramming handfuls at a time into your mouth because one or two pieces just ain't enough!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Y'know, it's really not a bad idea. I won't be taking the patented Mayor Gia popcorn eating spoon to the movie theater (because I don't want you to sue me for copyright infringement) but in the safe confines of my home, I just may. Like they say in Jurassic Park, "clever girl."

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm sorry but I can't support you in eating popcorn with a spoon. It just wouldn't seem normal to me. Why do you have to touch your computer while you eat popcorn anyway?

    Maybe you could separate your popcorn time and your computer time. Or just go ahead and eat it with a spoon...just don't expect me to do it too.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I don't really like popcorn... (please don't curse me)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I eat popcorn with a spoon.. Im so glad Im not the only one! I multitask and i hate having butter on my hands.

      I also eat pizza with a fork. It makes me eat it more slowly so I don't accidentally eat the whole thing.

      Delete
  5. You don't really do that. . . right? The spoon thing? That's like in Seinfeld when George Costanza ate his candybar with a knife and fork.

    I eat popcorn with my fist. Not my fingers, my fist. I jam my hand into the bowl and I get as much as I can fit in my fist and then I jam all of that into my mouth at one time. And yes, popcorn actually spills outside of my mouth because my fist holds more popcorn than my mouth can, but I don't care. And yes, my hand is covered in butter, but I just wipe it off on my pants and grab another fistful. THAT is how you eat popcorn.

    Weirdo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So you eat popcorn like cookie monster eats cookies.

      Delete
    2. No. Because the Cookie Monster says COOOOKIEEEESS! WHILE he eats them. And that's impolite. I say nothing, but yes. . . the appearance is very similar.

      Delete
  6. The fun of eating popcorn (especially in a dark movie theater) is finding out where the butter spots are on your clothes when the lights come on! No spoon here.

    ReplyDelete
  7. You are 100% right! Your way of eating popcorn is much better than mine. That is to say, you eat popcorn and I don't, therefor your way wins! The spoon thing does seem a little weird to me, but hey, I have crisps and nutella sandwichs so what do I know?

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm hesitant to take your advice because I just love finding all the rogue popcorn down my shirt when I'm finished watching a movie. (read: I don't love it at all. Especially not when sexy time comes after and when I take my shirt off, it's like I'm a popcorn confetti machine.)

    I might have to try this. I do love popcorn. And spoons.

    ReplyDelete
  9. You cannot patent the spoon Gia...stop it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. i do stick my head into a cup or bowl for popcorns. i stop when they get lesser :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Spoon!! It is genius...I also eat my burger with cutlery....judge away!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Popcorn eating with spoon could easily get you "weirdo of the year" award but I appreciate the "popcorn eating handbook". If you could upload a video like Paris Hilton with popcorn instead of burger I could totally follow that as per advice and join you in weirdo club, what do you say?

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm with Bozo, only I DESPISE popcorn. I hate the smell of it, the texture, and the way those weird skin parts get caught in your teeth. GAG. I say go with a popcorn spork though. That way, you can stab at the ones on the bottom if the spoon doesn't scoop them up quickly enough. You can call it the popspork. I'm sure it would sell.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I eat my Cheetos right out of the bag- with a fork. Feel Less weird yet?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is a GREAT idea! Who wants orange stains on everything?!

      Delete
    2. Good idea! But I kinda look forward to licking my fingers at the end of the binge

      Delete
  15. A creative way to eat popcorn... I can see the benefits, but as I am too lazy - who needs more dishes to wash? I will just use my fingers out of the high class paper microwave bag. :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. From this point forward, I will eat popcorn with a spoon in honor of you.

    Now can you develop a way to not get kernels in your teeth???

    LOL!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Crush the popcorn against the roof of your mouth without biting it with your tongue. Then swallow without biting.

      Delete
  17. I will take a spoon with me next time I go to the movie theatre.

    ReplyDelete
  18. If it makes you feel any better, I used to eat popcorn with chopsticks.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Favorite snack in front of the TV? Wine.

    Word.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Gia you totally need to patent the popcorn spoon and sell it on Sky Mall. People will buy anything.

    ReplyDelete
  21. In other spoon related news, I had an idea in Panera last night that they should make bread-spoons. Like how they have bread bowls. And you get 4 spoons with your soup, for when they get soggy and you have to eat them.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I'm all about lizard style when the bowl is full. I only eat popcorn I've made myself and Boyfriend has taken a liking to it so now I have to fight for my share (read: all). A spoon just won't work for me.

    ReplyDelete
  23. My daughter has used chop sticks for as long as I can remember. It's for the same reason. She is a texting addict and doesn't want to get the butter on her phone. So she uses chop sticks.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Popcorn is hands on! You're supposed to get butter on your hands Gia. That's the only way you get to Lick It Off. Your own or someone else's. You're welcome.

    ReplyDelete
  25. My first car was a dodge shadow! While I didn't buy it a gas station, it was still a terrible decision.

    ReplyDelete
  26. wait.

    you're saying that the way i eat my popcorn with chopsticks is wrong???

    i'm not sure we can stay friends.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Popcorn gets stuck in my teeth. Maltesers in a box (do you get them in the US?) are my movie food of choice.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I think if you pay someone enough money you can definitely trademark eating popcorn with a spoon. And I can trademark how to remove a wedgie.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  29. I would eat it with a pair of chopsticks.

    Hey, I love challenge!! Don't judge.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Apparently there is such an invention known as the popcorn fork.

    You could look around to see if they actually exist and then try it out. :P

    ReplyDelete
  31. You are a freaking genius with the popcorn spoon. I have such a hard time eating popcorn while writing and reading blogs, but no more! Popcorn spoon to the rescue!

    ReplyDelete
  32. You forgot having someone replicate a circus cannon at 1/64 size and having the individual popcorns shot into your mouth at approximately two feet and a 45 degree angle. Simply tie a string to the firing mechanism and you barely have to move after loaded. Duh. Technique invented by Barnum but perfected by Kurt Vonnegut and Dinah Shore together at a party in Frisco.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=b1cz8IasV4w

      Delete
  33. I think its great that you are so creative to even come up with eating popcorn with a spoon. Not sure many people would go to those lengths to find a way to keep their fingers free from popcorn juice.
    Thanks for playing along with the questions. I can't stand shopping either. In my head I picked someone with a laid back style and very generous!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Tongs are the only way, so the kernels dont fall off the spoon.

    ReplyDelete
  35. We have a thingy here that I got at a work conference that is like three pronged and you can grab the popcorn with it. Seems safer than the spoon option - I will have to take a picture of it because I'm not sure what it's called...

    ReplyDelete
  36. I will buy a popcorn spoon :) We can can be geniuses together!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Just came here to say I eat popcorn with a spoon too! So glad that I'm not alone. I've been eating it with a spoon for years, ever since I started popping it on the stovetop and adding my own seasoning. The spoon is the best way to get all the goodies :)

    ReplyDelete
  38. Ive always eaten popcorn with a spoon. We cant be aline in our wierdoness...jess on the new girl did it too. :p

    ReplyDelete
  39. Ive always eaten popcorn with a spoon. We cant be aline in our wierdoness...jess on the new girl did it too. :p

    ReplyDelete
  40. I was just asking my husband if I could invent a popcorn spoon and we googled it and found this! I don't like the spork idea, I like a big spoonful. I am so happy I AM NOT ALONE! I've been eating it this way for 35 years! We should stand proud and be brave...and do it in public!

    ReplyDelete