Friday, February 10, 2012

One Day I Hope to Own a Cat


So, I’m sure it’s no surprise to you that I want a cat. My sister has two kitties, and I love them even when they’re total fucking bitches. However, I’m sure some of you are wondering why I don’t currently have one, especially because I work in a city that is filled with feral cats and honestly with a little tuna I think I could convince one to get in my car. Yeah, they’re all pretty whorey with their kitty STDs, but that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve love. 

No one teaches cats Stranger Danger.
Also, you some of you guys offered up your own cats to me on twitter, which is awesome. But also makes me wonder why you want to get rid of these little balls of fluff. Are they secretly criminal masterminds? No, right?

Anyway, for now I just read kitty blogs and keep hoping. Here  are some reasons why I don’t have a cat yet:

My Lease Says "No Pets" 


I plan on moving out when my lease is up, so that might take care of that one.

Money
I know I know, cats are cheap. Cheaper than dogs and babies for sure. But there are still some kitty expenses:
  • Monthly rent with pets can go up 30-50 bucks in this area
  • Kitty food
  • Kitty litter
  • Adorable kitty toys
  • Vet bills when kitty chooses to ignore kitty toys for household products


Anyhoo, money is tight, and a cat is a commitment. You cant just feed them ramen noodles, right? 


Allergies
Oh yeah, I may be slightly allergic to cats. I didn’t have one growing up, and a few years ago I got my sister cats for her birthday. Now after I hang out with them/force them to cuddle with me, my eyes itch a lot.  And I feel kinda crappy when I go home, but not sure if that is just kitty allergies or going home. 



So yeah. No kitty for Gia yet. 

Nope.
But once I move out, somehow manage to make more money, and decide “fuck allergies,” I’m totally gonna steal me a kitty. 


_____________________________________
On another note, guess who has two thumbs and got tagged in another question thingy? *points to self* THIS GIRL. Boo-yah! This one is from Handflapper, who is super awesome not only because she complimented my popcorn spoon idea. Here we go:



1. What is your most irrational, ridiculous fear and in what way, if any, does this interfere with your daily activities?
I feel like you designed this question with me in mind. How do I pick one? Zombie sluts, demons, ninjas who want to break in my home...the list is endless. It doesn't interfere with my life because my craziness is just who I am.


2. Have you ever had head lice, and if yes, when?
NOPE! I'm proud of this one.


3. Picard or Kirk, and why? And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, you should. Shame on you.
I had to google this. No comment.


4. How often, ever if, do you sweep/vacuum your floors?
Hahhahah...no clue. Like once a month? I'm dirty. I don't know how Boyfriend puts up with it.


5. What is the scariest movie you have ever seen?
Hook. It gave me crazy bad nightmares as a kid. (Oh, you mean as an adult? Dunno. The Ring?)


6. What is the worst movie you have ever seen? (I love both scary and poorly made movies with all my heart.)
Hmmm...I dunno if its WORST, but Midnight in Paris is certainly up there.


7. Have you ever peed in the shower? HONEST ANSWERS ONLY.
I'm not going to answer that but I'll tell you this story: apparently, one time when I was a little kid and my sister and I were taking a bath together, I pooed in the tub. I was not only enough to remember, but she was. I enjoy knowing this happened.


8. What is it about coffee that you people like so much?
It's the sweet sweet nectar of the gods and I am totally addicted to it. Mmmm...coffee.


9. Would you rather have a cupcake or a real, honest-to-goodness as-god-intended-it piece of cake? Think carefully before answering. I’ll totally judge you if you say cupcake.
I've never felt so self conscious about liking cupcakes before.


10. How many Jeremy London movies have you seen, and for god’s sake, why?
Who?


11. Can you recommend any hardy menstruating prostitutes for a Bigfoot expedition?
No. Boyfriend would probably volunteer me for the role. Luckily, he is not answering this. 


Whew! Those were tough! Have a great weekend everyone, I'll see you on Twitter!

48 comments:

  1. I want a cat...I like to force cuddle them. You could always get allergy friendly cats like micro pigs or you know I think there are Russian short hair cats that are none allergic but expensive...so go with pigs!! Totally the same thing.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I've had a post VERY similar to this written for months I've never posted for some reason. I don't say that to sound like a pompous ass, as yours is more entertaining, but because I totally get it. I'm a huge animal lover, I like cats, I have a house, etc. but I don't have a cat. Instead I borrow my mom's pets and donate, simply because I don't want the mess, the bills or the responsibility. I kill plants.

    Anyway, maybe when things work out for you and your feline friend I'll jump on board with it myself. Peer pressure pussy pact! (I speak of cats, of course.)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have 2 cats...they are both snobby bitches. We never see them but they still manage to eat like pigs and fill the litter box in just one day! They are cute...but what's the point if we they are always hiding?

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm allergic. Also, while I know you're filthy (having read your answers to flapper's questions). . . people who have cats have houses that smell funny. *no offense meant to your sister or her probably smelly house*

    ReplyDelete
  5. Why do you hate yourself that you're allergic but still want a cat. The x-ray was pretty great. Hook gave you nightmares? It was because of Robin Williams, right? That disgusting hobbit will frighten any child.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I had cats until I realized it was too heartbreaking when they die - especially when they die in your lap - so now no pets at all. But fun to play with other people's pets ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Of course, I would be thrilled to have either a dwarf elephant or cow though... would totally make an exception to my pet rule if I could have either of those.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Great idea! I'm totally getting Gia a cow for V-Day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So cool that boyfriend talked to me! But this is not just a matter of a cow... DWARF cow... very important detail. Check the links to understand what I'm talking about.

      This one hold's the world record for being the smallest:

      http://www.deccanherald.com/content/118169/battle-cattle-worlds-shortest.html

      And here's where you can start your inquires for making the purchase for Gia:

      http://pib.nic.in/feature/feyr2000/fmay2000/f040520001.html

      Now go ahead and do the needful - only costs around a hundred dollars - plus shipping lol

      Delete
  9. In the X-Ray... is that kitty's brain? Because I assure you they're not that big. Maybe I just have dumb cats.

    Let me just tell you about rule #1 when owning a cat. GET. IT. FIXED! Especially if said kitty is of the impregnatable variety. I was riding the naive train and figured if they're indoor cats I don't need to get them fixed. WRONG! Kitties get out despite your best efforts. Kitties come home knocked up expecting you to take care of your grand-kitties. And although you have every intention of getting rid of said grand-kitties, you accidentally name one... or two and end up keeping them. And then, my friend, you have yourself a clowder.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I want a cat very badly too, but I'm also allergic. It sucks to see so many wonderful, cuddly looking kittie cats out there that need love but are stuck with idiot owners who don't appreciate them.

    However, I had one die on me and it was a traumatic experience that I do not wish to repeat. So, no cats for me either. :-(

    ReplyDelete
  11. I am allergic to cats... and just said "screw it," and threw that out the window when my husband came home in the middle of the night one time and surprised me with a cat that had opposable thumbs (<--run-on sentence much?).
    And we're bad people and never told our apartment managers that we had a cat in the building. Never got caught, though, so that was a win!
    You're not supposed to feed your cat ramen? Who knew?!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm so not a cat person. You really need to invest in a little dog! Much more friendly and cuddly. And my dog, Ruby Zubinka loves ramen noodles! Bonus! :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. The X-ray with the IPod charger had me rolling! Oh my goodness! Fucking hilarious!!!!!! Also, you could get one of those naked allergy cats. Like Dr.Evil. That would be BAD ASS

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think a cat like Dr. Evil's would be totally bad ass too!! Besides it looking cool, you wouldn't have to clean up the hair (which you just admitted you wouldn't do anyway), you wouldn't have to pay for allergy meds and it would make for some funny skin colored cat drawings.

      Delete
  14. CityKitty...Google it. Simply brilliant way to avoid litter cost and the hands down worst part of having a cat.

    And toys? You're sweetly overthinking it. Rubber bands are a cat favorite. But you do need those little mice that make that little sound when you shake em.

    I miss having a cat, but I can not have one more living thing on my watch at this time.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I'm just gonna say, I heart Jeremy London. And his twin Jason. I have a hard time telling them apart, so I collectively refer to them as London. They are one and the same to me. Jason was in Dazed and Confused and Jeremy was in Mallrats which was 2 of the greatest movies of all time. So they both rock pretty hard for that.

    ReplyDelete
  16. another selling point with cats, don't need to put diaper on or follow him and pick up the poop. And catwalking is nothing like dogwalking. And no need for petdaycare rite? I did once a lady walking her cat on leash and I am not talking about tiger or lion or anything just cat. Is it normal?

    ReplyDelete
  17. I am allergic to cats and could never have one. I don't even like to visit people who have cats because I have to pay for it for days.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I love cats! Dearest Hubby is allergic. So we have a dog...

    ReplyDelete
  19. Allergy pills! An absolute must if you own a cat! The Editor has one who I found I was allergic to, but after taking the pills for a little while they completely cleared everything and I got used to him! Thus, no more allergies! Yay!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Cats aren't all fun and games. Mine hates me. But my roommate just told me that it's really her cat and I gave it to her when it was a kitten. Maybe that's why my cat hates me.

    I don't remember giving her away...but maybe I forgot because we still live in the same house.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Girl, you are way too funny. And you're right? Why would people want to give away their little kitty cats :( haha

    ReplyDelete
  22. Being the crazy cat lady that I am, I smuggled two cats into a no-cat apartment for 2 years. Just call me Katie the Rebel. We lost our deposit, but we weren't kicked out or charged more rent. When the landlord did have to fix something, we just told them that we were cat-sitting for a friend.

    Here's to kitty cats in your near future!

    ReplyDelete
  23. You are so funny! My ex-boyfriends cat used to attack me everytime I walked in the room. In the end, he dumped me for the cat, so..I kinda don't like them anymore. But, I love the post!

    ReplyDelete
  24. I LOVE CATS TOO! And also, now I know why you follow my blog.. for the cats!

    ReplyDelete
  25. I feel so weird that everyone's into pets and I'm not.

    Am I evil???

    ReplyDelete
  26. While you wait to have a cat of your own, you could help feral kitties. Get traps from the humane society, trap kitties, and take them in to be fixed. The feral cats in my neighborhood are all over the place, but I don't trap cats because I've learned that some cats I thought were feral are actually owned by neighbors. The cats just like to hang out in my driveway to taunt my dogs.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  27. awe i have 3 cats at my house and 3 at my girlfriends and i love them all :) they are so fluffy and sometimes crazy but you still love them

    ReplyDelete
  28. Cats are awesome. Good practice for kids too if you ever feel so inclined.

    ReplyDelete
  29. As far as #3......you probably don't know who Janeway or Archer are either, then?
    God, I am SUCH a nerd.
    Who is allergic to cats.
    And the Animal and Plant Kingdom.
    As well as the five food groups.
    Oh, my, I'm the Boy in the Frikkin' Bubble meets The Big Bang Theory.

    ReplyDelete
  30. There is a lot going on in this post so I have decided to number my responses:

    1. Since you seem to be allergic to cats, you should add the cost of benedryl (sp?) to your list of expenses.

    2. I enjoy coffee is awesome both for its color and caffeine content. Plus, Mike Ditka's character in Kicking and Screaming called it the "lifeblood of civilization".

    3.

    4. Response number three was left intentionally blank to fill space and justify this style of response

    5. The look on the face of that cat tells me that it's possible s/he has learned of Stranger Danger.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Cats are dull, and when they aren't boring you to death, they are assholes. Also, zombie sluts are why I get laid.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Cats are the best! When you've got the money and a cat-friendly landlord, you should get one.

    My cat is a total sociopath - but she's cute and funny and so she gets away with it.

    ReplyDelete
  33. You forgot another problem. If you die, it will eat you.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Never had an issue with cats until I went to uni. They practically ruled the place and scared the hell out of me.

    ReplyDelete
  35. It's never a good idea to have just one cat. They get bored and do stuff that you really don't want them to do. Best to have two. Well, except for the fact that they gang up on you.

    ReplyDelete
  36. OMG I freaking love cupcakes. Cupcakes win every time. Also? I think I had a dream about you last night. Unless you find that to be incredibly creepy...then I totally didn't have a dream about you.

    ReplyDelete
  37. allergies can be overcome with a little bitty pill each day. and rarely ever do they eat chargers. that's more of a dog or baby thing.
    i love my kitty babies, even if one is a biter. she's so pretty, she's allowed to be a mean girl.

    ReplyDelete
  38. kitty is a commitment indeed.
    they are babies too in many ways.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Aw, somewhere there's a kitty just waiting to be loved by a sneezing Gia.

    ReplyDelete
  40. I love cats too but they make my eyes itch :( A little benadryl should clear that up!

    ReplyDelete
  41. If you do end up getting a cat try and see if you can get one from a shelter. D:

    ReplyDelete
  42. Bathing a cat once a week can help with allergies (http://www.humanesociety.org/animals/resources/tips/allergies_pets.html), so you just need to decide whether you'd rather have itchy eyes or deep gashes on your arms.

    ReplyDelete
  43. I am TOTALLY allergic to cats. But not if I get them as a kitten. After talking to my allergist about this, apparently kittens are still developing the allergins that cause a reaction. Because they are developing (and I got it as a kitten) my body adapts to that specific cats allergins as it gets older and I don't have a reaction to it because I am sort of ammune to that cat. I also adapt to cats that I am around all the time. My friend has 3 cats and when I first started going to her house I would have a reaction. Now, because I go over there ALL THE TIME I can cuddle with the cats and pet them and I'm fine.

    The reason I'm telling you this is that maybe you wouldn't have trouble if you got your cat as a kitten. I know millions of adult cats out there need homes, but when you have allergies you have allergies. Also, maybe you want to talk to an allergist about meds or something. You know when you are ready for a kitty.

    I do commend you for holding out for the right time to get a kitty though. Instead of just rushing into it because you want it. It sounds like you've put a LOT of thought into owneing a cat. Not everyone thinks that hard about it. I just wanted to share my info with you and let you know that as far as the allergies go, there is hope.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hm.. I've never heard of that before, but that would be an EXCELLENT solution to the allergies problem! I'd love to get a little kitten...i really hope its that easy!

      Delete
  44. Kitties are great pets if you're loaded. As you well know from my most recent vet visit.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Hi! First time i've read your blog, love it!... and you need to get cats!!!!!! My hubby wanted cats and I wanted a dog, but we compromised and got two cats (not sure where the compromise is...). They are horrible and soooo wonderful. I love them like crazy! However, the expense, is more then the online caculators say, i spend so much more than i ever would have thought of on mine. (One of them has anxiety... yeah, that costs alot!)

    ReplyDelete