Bangs

Since “embarrassing things” seems to be this week’s theme, let’s talk about what I did on Monday.

This is a slight exaggeration.

So. I really wanted a long sidebang, but I recently got my hair trimmed and they cut too much anyway and I’m trying to grow it out so I didn’t want to go back for another trim just to throw in the sidebang.

Mistake uno: believing in myself

Like with any major decision, I checked with twitter first.

The responses were fairly positive, I think:

Okay not really at all. I tried to reassure everyone that I knew what I was doing:

I checked with Boyfriend, too, via gchat:

Me: In other news i bought a pair of hair cutting scissors 

If you need me I'll be in my bathroom for the next hour 

This should go well

Boyfriend: DON’T DO IT!

Me: Damn 

Between you and twitter …

Its just a little sidebang!!1

Boyfriend:  famous last words

I'd like someone to bang on the side too you know [Note: he’s kidding.]

Me: Don’t start 

but seriously 

I’m being adventurous 

snip snip 

Boyfriend: The next words after its just a little side bang are, "it cost me $120 to fix it at the hair salon" 

           

It went..okay. Except I didn’t listen to my brain even though I knew my bangs were wet, and cut them shorter than intended. And slightly unevenly. But I didn’t cut that much of them, so it’s not that noticeable…

Everyone was supportive.

Boyfriend came over and saw it.

Things I Do Not Like About Hurricanes

 So, I have some posting to catch up on. And I probably still don't have power, because my current expected restoration time is Monday at 11 pm. But today’s post is something I wrote whilst it was hurricaning out. Look, I even drafted it in a notebook, see:

Things I Do Not Like About Hurricanes

1. Losing Power

This happened at about 4 pm Monday. Not fun at all. It was like this:

Then sirens started going off and I knew I was done for.

Seriously uncool.

2. Super Scary Sounding Explosions that Turned Out To Be Transformers Blowing

This is what it sounded like:

 This is what it actually was:

My reaction: 

3. No internet or laptop

I didn’t want to use my laptop at all after I lost power, so I could use it to charge my my iphone. And thank god for that iphone

Boys boys..don't fight over me.

Seriously though. It got me though the storm

4. Losing Contact with Boyfriend

Boyfriend texted that he lost power Monday night. Then I didn’t hear from him ALL DAY TUESDAY.

 It turns out a cell tower went down so he had no service at all and had to shut his phone off. But I didn't know that.

On a scale of 1 to ten, that makes me super insanely nutty

Luckily, he texted me when he got power back, 3 am Wednesday morning. Lucky bastard.

5. Being Cold

It got pretty cold:

  

It sucked.

6. Running out of wine.

Bad fucking planning on my part. I need to get a bigger apartment so there’s room for the wine cellar I plan on installing.

7. Being Forced to Read Cosmo by Flashlight

Seriously, I had to put down the iphone at a certain point to conserve some battery. That was all I had around. Nuff said.

8. Not Blogging or Tweeting

I went from being all happy like this:

To this: 

Understandably, service hasn’t been great. I miss blogs.

In conclusion, hurricanes are scary piles of bullshit.  I'm grateful it wasn't worse for me, but ugh. Next post: What happens when you lose power for ____ days (I leave that blank because at the time of typing up/scheduling this post, I still don't have power. It's Saturday at 7 pm and I'm at a Starbucks)

How I Eat Popcorn and Why It’s Way Better Than the Way You Do It

So, as you may have seen on twitter, I’ve come up with a genius way of eating popcorn. Sure it’s a bit odd so I can only eat it this way when I’m totally alone, but still. First, here are all the inferior ways of eating it:

With Your Fingers

Ick.  So you get greasy  popcorn juice (also known as butter) all over yourself? And then you can’t use your laptop or trackpad while eating it. Pass.

With a Cup

Boyfriend’s choice. So you can spill popcorn all over yourself? PASS.

Lizard Style

Okay, I don’t hate this one, especially when the bowl is full. But when its almost empty and you gotta stick your whole head in it to get to the popcorn, you get popcorn juice all over your face! Not good.

Those are all terrible, right? Well, here’s my idea!

With a Spoon

See guys? Mess free! No butter on your hands/mouth/face/laptop/couch/bedsheets. And no popcorn all over the place! C'mon, I’m a genius, right?!

 But seriously, is there a way to get a patent on popcorn eating spoons? You know, indistinguishable from regular spoons, but you use them to eat popcorn. Can I trademark this?

And more importantly, can other people pleas please please start eating popcorn this way, so I don’t feel so damn weird for doing it? Thanks. 


-----------------------------------
Okay, so while you're judging me for that (seriously, stop judging me. it's genius.), I need to answer some questions because I was tagged in that Pass It On thing by TWO awesome bloggers. I don't entirely understand it but I get that I'm supposed to answer their questions, I think. Or something. Anyway, first we have Jacqui at chicktuition, who asked for "5 Random Insights into Your Soul:"


1. My soul likes old guys. Gross? Maybe. It is what it is. 
2. Even though a cat may steal a part of my soul, I want one. Badly.
3. My soul thinks I can sing. But the rest of me knows I can't. So, I only sing alone in the car.
4. My soul makes me eat babies to feed itself. 
5. My soul likes kidding about me eating babies (bad soul! bad!).


I'm bad at these.


NEXT! 
Kristen at The Preppy Girl in Pink. Here are her questions:


1.  What’s the first thing you do when your alarm goes off in the morning?
Turn it off! I HATE loud noises. If I have any messages on my phone I'll check them.


2.  What does your favorite date night consist of?
Anything with Boyfriend. Actually, anything other than watching Midnight in Paris. Usually we have a pretty good time staying in and watching a movie. Maybe going to dinner first. We're low key, but it works for us.


3.  What is your favorite comedy movie?
Eeek! I don't know. That's hard. Boyfriend and I both loved Bridesmaids, so that's a current fave. I don't have an all time fave. I don't like committing to things like that.


4.  What was your first car and how did you come about ownership?
Uhhh a dodge neon. Bought it at a gas station. Bad decision. 


5.  What is your go to snack while chilling in front of the TV?
Wine.


6.  Name a famous person in present day that you would like to go shopping with and describe why.
Umm...that's tough. My first thought was "NO ONE I HATE SHOPPING." But actually, maybe Oprah. Cuz she'd probably pick up the tab, right?


....I'm sorry I made you guys suffer though my craptastic answers. Aren't you happy you're that much closer to me now? 


Okay, go dig up some spoons and eat some popcorn, please.

Christmas Polar Bear

Christmas Polar Bear’s Wish: For all the world’s hairdryers to spontaneously combust, so that I and my adorable polar bear cubs don’t go the way of the wooly mammoth.  Also, some fish wouldn’t hurt. I like fish.
 

[This wish is inspired by my hippie Boyfriend, who tells me that a polar bear cries every time someone uses a hairdryer.]

Have a great weekend everyone! See you on Twitter!