POOR KITTY, Vol. 233563

So this will kind of be an unfinished post, since I'm right in the middle of the kitty drama. But here's what happened this weekend. 

I took Kitty on an adventure with me to Boyfriend's house this weekend. She vomited in the car both ways, as she does. But she did alright with the cats - she managed to coexist without growling by the end of the trip. Hurray! 

I brought her home Sunday morning, where she popped out of the carrier and looked at me. 

Yes, Kitty has some eye problem. As my long time readers may remember, she had an eye problem in 2015 too. It involved multiple trips to the vet (she was misdiagnosed the first time and was given meds that made it worse.) 

I called Boyfriend.

This was a lie. But in my defense, I believe Boyfriend knew that. 

To be fair, I have been monitoring her eye, but I can clearly see that her inner eyelid on one side is puffy and irritated and she keeps rubbing at it. I tried to wash it out a little, but it doesn't seem to be doing much good. I'm not sure if it's stress-induced pinkeye or some kind of tear. Either way, she needs to see a vet and get some meds. 

Since I don't believe this warrants an emergency vet ER trip, I'll be calling them Monday morning to get an appt. Until then, I'll be staring at her and texting Boyfriend updates. SIGH. 

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Monday morning update: 

Well. 

She magically looks much better this morning, which makes me think she had something in her eye (vomit, maybe? Ick) that cleared. 

So, I guess Boyfriend maybe kind of was right which is actually SUPER ANNOYING but whatever. Grumble guess I'm glad my kitty isn't sick grumble. (Kidding. I'm thrilled it doesn't seem like she needs a vet trip.)

I Wish They Sold DIY Lasik Kits

Like many people, I wear glasses/contacts. I’ve had them since fourth grade. 

Little Gia - I look normal enough, eh?

Unlike most others, my glasses are INCREDIBLY STRONG vision is atrocious and I cannot see a thing without them. Like, if someone has 20/20 vision, something that is 20 feet away LOOKS 20 feet away. My uncorrected vision is approximately 20/650. Something that is 20 feet away looks 650 feet away to me.

Sexy Blurry Boyfriend

 So, I don’t just need my glasses to drive, I need them to function on a daily basis.

Whoops. More eyeball poking

And, like the 99% of the population, I’m pretty poor right now. I’ve spent the past 6 or 7 years without eyecare insurance.  This isn’t incredibly unusual, I know. But it meant I go to the eye doc at Walmart. One step up from that guy with the van in the back of the parking lot who offered me discounted lasik. Lasermobile? No thanks, ax murderer. I won’t have you harvesting my eyeballs for your weird doll collection.

Also known as Rapemobile 3000.

I’m lucky in the fact that my prescription hasn’t changed since high school. But that means I’ve had the same $20 WalMart frames and lenses. The bad thing is that coating on the lenses is all chippy and whatnot. Day to day, this doesn’t bother me.  But at night, it creates giant halos.

 
Why am I bringing this up now? Because we recently had Daylight Savings

AKA the worst time of the year for me.

See, I work til 5pm. And from March-October, this isn’t a problem. I can wear glasses to work, hop in my car, do some highway merging, and get home no problem. However,  wearing contacts for 8 straight hours of looking at a computer gives me headaches, probably because I have the vision of a bat.

Is that a swarm of gnats or some woman's hair? Probably gnats. Better go swoop into it.

Once darkness hits, all bets are off. All I see are bright lights coming at me and I have no idea what lane anyone is in. It’s like driving with a granny:

[Cut me a break. I can't draw cars.]

Except I’m not senile, so it’s FUCKING TERRIFYING.

My current solution has been to suck it up and wear my contacts. Sure, it causes headaches and my eyes hurt and it makes me miserable, but at least I’ve managed to get myself home in one piece so far.

However, my current job provides eye insurance. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!

So mark it in your calendars, kiddies. Tuesday, December 6^th. Gia has an eye doctor appointment! She’s going to get brand spankin’ new glasses!

[Yes, Gia may find out that the night driving issue is due to her bad vision and not her shitty glasses and even brand new glasses won’t fix it, but let’s not rain on her parade, shall we?]

FYI, I’m also going to inquire about lasik surgery. Sure, I won’t be able to afford it for a few years and sure, Boyfriend says its like being in A Clockwork Orange, but hey, a girl can dream, can’t she?

Second Grade Was a Very Big Year for Me

So, as I previously noted, I am a vegetarian. No one else in my family is a vegetarian; actually we’re Italian, so they’re pretty ashamed of my unwillingness to eat meat. When I said I wanted to stop eating meat in the second grade, my mom thought it was a phase and went with it. But it wasn’t. I think second grade is about the time when you really start making the connection between animals and meat.

I realized that when I was eating spaghetti and meatballs:

It's spaghetti and meatballs. Shut up.

or a hamburger:

I was actually eating Bessie the Cow. :(

My little second grade self was deeply disturbed to learn where grandma’s meatballs really came from.

Also, we were learning a lot about American Indians and for some reason, the idea of whale-hunting really upset me.

In-a-not-totally-unrelated-way, second grade was also the year that I found out I was a wussie. I don’t actually mind the sight of blood, but talking about your heart and blood and circulatory systems and pulses (ugh, pulses!) really freaks me out. I know I know, “but a pulse is a GOOD thing,” and I agree, but if you try to touch my pulse, I will poke your eye out (oh, maybe boyfriend isn’t totally an innocent victim, eh??).

Anyhoo, I remember a distinct episode in second grade when I came to realize this about myself. The teacher was telling us about blood and pulses and other gross stuff, and we were practicing feeling our pulses, then jogging in place and feeling them again. I was completely disgusted and blatantly pressing my fingers on my jaw in an attempt to make sure I didn’t accidentally feel my neck pulse, but I was still getting totally woozy.

I guess I was looking a little pale, because the teacher was all:

 But what I saw was:

I had never been lightheaded before, so of course I thought I was going blind or dying or something equally traumatic. I went up to the teacher and told her there were spots in my eyes and I couldn’t see, so she made me put my head on my desk for the rest of the class. And that’s how I almost passed out in second grade. 

 

I probably should have called this post “The Year I discovered I was a Wussie” because I clearly couldn’t handle anything icky. I’d like to pretend I outgrew it, but I’m still a vegetarian and I BARELY got through junior year health class (CPR. Pulse feeling and heart beating. Ick. ICK ICK.) BONUS embarrassing confession: Even writing about pulses is making me feel a little iffy. I was going to draw another picture to go with this, but really I just need to stop thinking about it.  Shudder.