Wednesday, January 4, 2012

New Year's Resolution Fail

Guys, I have a confession. I messed up my New Year’s Resolution to be the World’s Best Girlfriend already.

So, let’s rewind. Boyfriend and I went to seaside town over the weekend. The majority of the weekend was very pleasant. Boyfriend only yelled at the dishwasher a little, we had a nice dinner, etc. etc.

Until Saturday night. We went to dinner and watched the God-awful Midnight in Paris, and were in bed by 11:30. [Side note: Seriously, how did that movie get amazing reviews? It was TERRIBLE.] I drunkenly anxiously waited til midnight and made sure Boyfriend was awake to go HAPPY NEW YEAR and promptly passed out.

However, approximately 2 hours later, Boyfriend and I both woke up. Boyfriend went to the bathroom, sat on the bed, and said, “I don’t feel well…my heart is racing.” I, being the adorable little ball of neuroticism that I am, immediately woke up about 120%.



Even after he tried to assure me he was okay and it was probably indigestion, I was wiiiide awake.  And completely wigged out. Not only because Boyfriend could have been having a heart attack/stroke/indigestion, but because there were noises in the house. And they could have been trespassers. And Boyfriend forgot his gun. And there’s no lock on the bedroom door. So I anxiously plotted escape routes (get onto the balcony and ungracefully fall into the bushes below) while every home invasion horror story I’d ever heard popped into my head.

(This is me adjusting to the tablet. Back off.)

Guys, in my defense, I had been drinking. And/or maybe partaking in a substance that sometimes makes people slightly paranoid. I was NOT going back to bed for quite a while.

Counting Sheep did not work.

So Boyfriend sensed my wide awakeness and opened his ipad and we watched tv on it for a few hours. Thank GOD for late night Archer reruns. Then Boyfriend kind of fell asleep but I maybe kind of would wake him up periodically to make sure he was still breathing and point out that a funny part on Archer was about to come on. [In my defense, Archer was on a rampage because his breast cancer chemo meds were actually sugar pills and zima. Cmon, this is good stuff.] And then we watched Entourage… or I watched and narrated to Boyfriend. This maybe continued until oh 5 am. [Another side note: Boyfriend "runs" in his sleep, kind of like a dog. It's so cute. He said he was dreaming about playing basketball.]

Needless to say, the next day Boyfriend was not happy.
He's not a fan of being tired.
And I was upset that I made him cranky so something like this ensued:

Arrrghhhh. Not my best showing, guys. Especially in light of the fact that my New Year’s Resolution is to be the #WorldsBestGirlfriend, and I spent the first few hours of 2012 systemically torturing Boyfriend (sleep deprivation is torture, no?). But anyway, then I remembered that I read on a blog (gahh I forget which) that New Year’s Resolutions really should start on MONDAY this year. I think the logic was something like “Who starts a diet on a Sunday?” So, I would like to officially adopt that logic, and state that my World’s Best Girlfriend work didn’t actually officially begin til Monday. And I have NOT denied him sleep since then.

Whew. I feel better already.
Notice the pearls.

35 comments:

  1. I think if you manage to be a perfect girlfriend 365 days of the year and miss out on one, you'll still count as the best girlfriend ever. In fact, you can probably miss out on about a month of being perfect. I mean, 90% of the year still makes you awesome!

    (Note: this is a leap year, so being perfect 365 days still leaves 1 day not to be perfect)

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  2. My resolution was to be a better husband....she left just 2 days before putting my plan into action.

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    1. I'm very sorry to hear that :(

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  3. I get worried over little things and then my boyfriend thinks I'm crazy. When will he learn I am crazy!

    The pearls looks great on you.

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  4. Oh my goodness this is exactly like me! Anything that causes Lee pain freaks me out, once when I was drunk I had a full on meltdown that absinthe would make him blind... It was a low point and my friends still joke about it. Xxxx

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  5. Ahhhh sleep time, the downfall of people's best intention to be considerate of their bed mate. Maybe you can convince yourself and him that the bed at sleep time is a neutral zone that doesn't count against your resolution.

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  6. 2012 is worked hard,get girlfriend,and more money

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  7. LOL You were annoying, you were concerned!! hahaha I'm glad to know that there is someone out there as nerotic as I am.

    Your drawings on the super fabulous tablet cracked me up :) And yes, I noticed the pearls!! haha

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  8. and by saying the you were annoying...I really meant that you WEREN'T annoying. What a typo that was...lol

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  9. Pfff. I still think you're right on track. Drunken nights don't count. You were obviously a bit diminished and not being your normal, sober neurotic self. I would give you a pass.

    Do you know how many nights I've kept my hubby up with my blabbering? Lots.

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  10. You get a pass for drinking, paranoid substances, weekend time frames, being on a mini vacation, and because I say so.

    Seriously though? Who starts eating well on a Sunday? Sundays are designated eat-like-a-fat-kid days.

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  11. Resolutions are for suckers!! That said, I think you were being a wonderful girlfriend because you were just making sure he didn't die :D

    Archer is fantastic...so excited new episodes are coming out!

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  12. What? I loved Midnight in Paris!?! You just made me use multiple punctuation marks so you know I really mean it.

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  13. You really ARE the perfect girlfriend! He will laugh about this later. He really will. :)

    You are fun! And funny! And I like your blog and your drawings. Yay for a New Year! Happy Day to you! :)

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  14. If you were worried over his health, ninjas, and monsters, then you can't categorize this as bad behavior. No, uh-uh, that's GOOD behavior. Because you care. See how that works? You freaked out because of love!

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  15. Oh, and I followed you, by the way. :)

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  16. love the pearls! and you little lady.

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  17. You are too frickin funny! I think you are still Girlfriend of the Year you just fell of the wagon for one day. Join me over at my blog for the rewind!

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  18. The fact that you're worried about being a good girlfriend, makes you a great girlfriend.

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  19. I really want to watch Midnight in Paris now, never even heard of it before :O I need to see it!

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  20. I say that NYD counts, but all is not lost because you can pick one day and be Twice As Good, thus earning extra credit and evening things out.

    Added note: you must have been looking in my window when you came up with next to last drawing. That's totally my life.

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  21. I tend to get freaked out easily too. My husband is sort of used to it but I imagine sometimes he's like, "The eff?"

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  22. Your tortured your boyfriend. Now you are a real person.

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  23. This was one of the funniest posts I have ever read! You are already wicked good with that tablet, girlie! I love the look in your eyes (I could almost see you batting your eyelashes) in the face next to the "Don't be mad. I'm sorryyy." bubble! Oh and ending it with the pearls...it was like the cherry on top!

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  24. You were just concerned. What if something had actually been wrong?

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  25. Ha, ha. What a great story. I hope boyfriend has by now caught up on his sleep deprivation.

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  26. We caught the same Archer marathon. His chemo rampage was quite good.

    I can sort of understand why the noises in the middle of the night away from home might be troubling.

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  27. And that's why I've given myself a generous amount of time to do each resolution. At least a month for each. :P

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  29. Such a nice and weird thing to come across your blog, as I do similar cartoons on mine too.
    But I call myself The Italian Girlfriend :)

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  30. SOunds more like you were being an awesome girlfriend for looking out for him so I say so far you haven't failed on your resolution... but you know what i think of resolutions anyway :)
    (Rachel visiting from Because I said so! thanks for dropping by! )

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  31. When I was a little kid we lived close to the grain elevators and the train tracks. I used to lie in my bed at night and try to calculate if the grain elevators would hit our house if a train derailed, hit them and knocked them over like dominos.

    So... neurotics of the world unite!!

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  32. Maybe the torture day will make him appreciate the upcoming 364 torture free days all the more.

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  33. You are most definitely the world's best girlfriend and I will fight anyone to the death who disagrees with me. or you.

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    1. Thank you! Oh wait...you were talking to Gia. I'm so embarrassed. Just pretend I didn't say anything.

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