New Year's Resolution Fail

Guys, I have a confession. I messed up my New Year’s Resolution to be the World’s Best Girlfriend already.

So, let’s rewind. Boyfriend and I went to seaside town over the weekend. The majority of the weekend was very pleasant. Boyfriend only yelled at the dishwasher a little, we had a nice dinner, etc. etc.

Until Saturday night. We went to dinner and watched the God-awful Midnight in Paris, and were in bed by 11:30. [Side note: Seriously, how did that movie get amazing reviews? It was TERRIBLE.] I drunkenly anxiously waited til midnight and made sure Boyfriend was awake to go HAPPY NEW YEAR and promptly passed out.

However, approximately 2 hours later, Boyfriend and I both woke up. Boyfriend went to the bathroom, sat on the bed, and said, “I don’t feel well…my heart is racing.” I, being the adorable little ball of neuroticism that I am, immediately woke up about 120%.

Even after he tried to assure me he was okay and it was probably indigestion, I was wiiiide awake.  And completely wigged out. Not only because Boyfriend could have been having a heart attack/stroke/indigestion, but because there were noises in the house. And they could have been trespassers. And Boyfriend forgot his gun. And there’s no lock on the bedroom door. So I anxiously plotted escape routes (get onto the balcony and ungracefully fall into the bushes below) while every home invasion horror story I’d ever heard popped into my head.

(This is me adjusting to the tablet. Back off.)

Guys, in my defense, I had been drinking. And/or maybe partaking in a substance that sometimes makes people slightly paranoid. I was NOT going back to bed for quite a while.

Counting Sheep did not work.

So Boyfriend sensed my wide awakeness and opened his ipad and we watched tv on it for a few hours. Thank GOD for late night Archer reruns. Then Boyfriend kind of fell asleep but I maybe kind of would wake him up periodically to make sure he was still breathing and point out that a funny part on Archer was about to come on. [In my defense, Archer was on a rampage because his breast cancer chemo meds were actually sugar pills and zima. Cmon, this is good stuff.] And then we watched Entourage… or I watched and narrated to Boyfriend. This maybe continued until oh 5 am. [Another side note: Boyfriend "runs" in his sleep, kind of like a dog. It's so cute. He said he was dreaming about playing basketball.]

Needless to say, the next day Boyfriend was not happy.

He's not a fan of being tired.

And I was upset that I made him cranky so something like this ensued:

Arrrghhhh. Not my best showing, guys. Especially in light of the fact that my New Year’s Resolution is to be the #WorldsBestGirlfriend, and I spent the first few hours of 2012 systemically torturing Boyfriend (sleep deprivation is torture, no?). But anyway, then I remembered that I read on a blog (gahh I forget which) that New Year’s Resolutions really should start on MONDAY this year. I think the logic was something like “Who starts a diet on a Sunday?” So, I would like to officially adopt that logic, and state that my World’s Best Girlfriend work didn’t actually officially begin til Monday. And I have NOT denied him sleep since then.

Whew. I feel better already.

Notice the pearls.