No, YOU'RE irrational.

Actual convo between me and Boyfriend this week:

Don't worry guys, I've forgiven Boyfriend for not apologizing for dream-cheating on me. He better not do it again. 

Murder Cats: Episode 2

As you probably know, Boyfriend has two cats. 

Months ago, we had the first mouse-killing experience, which looked something like this:

Since then, they've killed a few more mice. They're usually mostly indoor cats, but they've also killed a few critters outside too, like a vole and a little birdie (RIP). 

However, last weekend, we had a New Incident. 

Boyfriend and I were hanging out in the morning on Sunday, drinking coffee and relaxing. 

Boyfriend found the cats in the corner, looking at...something. A big golden fluff pile. Definitely not a mouse. 

I thought perhaps it was some kind of weird stuffed animal part, which didn't make any sense.  Boyfriend went to go get some gloves and a cat nudged it. 

I should clarify, by this time it was a very dead hamster.

Before he could get to the hamster, Archer made his move, grabbed it again, and went rampaging around the house.

We cornered Archer and got him to drop the very dead hamster. But we had questions. 

I came to the obvious conclusion. 

As we pondered where that hamster could have come from, Boyfriend went to go check on his young adult daughter as she was getting ready to go to work. 

YEP.  Boyfriend's daughter got a hamster a few days earlier and neglected to tell him. He immediately confessed that his murder cats just unapologetically slaughtered it, and were still in full on rampage mode around the house.  

Unsurprisingly, telling her didn't go great. 

For the record, we don't really know how this happened. The cage was closed and the cats weren't allowed in her room. Our theory is that the hamster somehow managed to wiggle out of the cage, slide under the door, and enjoy a little bit of freedom before he went to the big hamster ball in the sky. 

Either way, that's the latest episode of murder cats: hamster edition. Rest in peace, little guy. 

Happy MLK Day!

So I was going to share my traditional MLK post from the past couple of years but a joke minimizing the civil rights movement feels a little bit like bad taste in this very immediate news cycle of the president being a racist dumpster fire. 

So I'll just say Happy Martin Luther King Jr day. Perhaps take a moment to ponder this uncomfortable fact:

source: wapo

This is done by a person called Robin Bell - follow on twitter here. And here's a slightly lighter one:

Ok, back next week to my usual antics (psst: spoiler alert: my next post is about cats.)

No it's YOUR Sciatica

So...my back hurts. I'm not entirely sure what brought this on. I did feel pretty sore when I visited my parents and slept in my old twin bed for a few nights. It also gets a little hairy when I'm at Boyfriend's and the cats are there:

It's not easy to squeeze into that side!

But either way, I woke up a couple days ago and my back hurt. Bad. 

The pain is shooting down my side and leg. Not good. 

Boyfriend told me I had to do this thing called "stretching."

Honestly how dare he.

So, I've been heating and stretching and standing and sitting for a couple of days now. Hopefully it'll get better soon. Sciatica relief tips, anyone?

It's a New Year, you guys.

Happy 2018!

Hope you all had a great new year! Gotta go find my cat now....

Merry Christmas 2017!

Today's the day we lay down our arms and say it, you guys. 

Merry Christmas!

Twas the Night Before Christmas

Yep, annual throwback. Merry Christmas, everyone!

A Visit from St. Nicholas (with art by Mayor Gia)

By Clement Clarke Moore

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

That is a lie.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds;

While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;

And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,

Gave a lustre of midday to objects below,

When what to my wondering eyes did appear,

But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer,

With a little old driver so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment he must be St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donder and Blixen!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;

So up to the housetop the coursers they flew

With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too—

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a pedler just opening his pack.

His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly

That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

Now he's just bragging.

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

  

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—

“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! And if you need more Mayor Gia Christmas, check out the oldie but goodie Nativity Story !