Monday, January 22, 2018

Murder Cats: Episode 2

As you probably know, Boyfriend has two cats. 

Months ago, we had the first mouse-killing experience, which looked something like this:

Since then, they've killed a few more mice. They're usually mostly indoor cats, but they've also killed a few critters outside too, like a vole and a little birdie (RIP). 

However, last weekend, we had a New Incident. 

Boyfriend and I were hanging out in the morning on Sunday, drinking coffee and relaxing. 

Boyfriend found the cats in the corner, looking at...something. A big golden fluff pile. Definitely not a mouse. 

I thought perhaps it was some kind of weird stuffed animal part, which didn't make any sense.  Boyfriend went to go get some gloves and a cat nudged it. 

I should clarify, by this time it was a very dead hamster.
Before he could get to the hamster, Archer made his move, grabbed it again, and went rampaging around the house.

We cornered Archer and got him to drop the very dead hamster. But we had questions. 

I came to the obvious conclusion. 

As we pondered where that hamster could have come from, Boyfriend went to go check on his young adult daughter as she was getting ready to go to work. 

YEP.  Boyfriend's daughter got a hamster a few days earlier and neglected to tell him. He immediately confessed that his murder cats just unapologetically slaughtered it, and were still in full on rampage mode around the house.  

Unsurprisingly, telling her didn't go great. 

For the record, we don't really know how this happened. The cage was closed and the cats weren't allowed in her room. Our theory is that the hamster somehow managed to wiggle out of the cage, slide under the door, and enjoy a little bit of freedom before he went to the big hamster ball in the sky. 

Either way, that's the latest episode of murder cats: hamster edition. Rest in peace, little guy. 


  1. Your final drawing brought tears to my eyes. Tears of laughter, but still . . . . RIP, Hammie the Hamster.

  2. Too bad you didn't find a replacement hamster sooner. You might have gotten away with it. They are all bloodthirsty killers and I have marvelled that mine have never killed me during the night.

  3. Rest in Power, lil' hamster who doth spent such short a time on this plane of existence as to not have earned a human-bestowed name. So we shall call you by your native, non-slave-to-the-wheel name, Squeak Chirp.
    You lived like every moment may be your last mainly due to a hyper protracted attention span, which, was a wise choice considering you lived amongst murder-cats.
    You spun, you escaped, not content to be confined in your saw dust laden confines, to explore new territories heretofore untouched by paws of hamster nor gerbil. You traversed the unknown, Squeak Chirp, you touched the void, sought the terminal horizon and were met with the furious vengeance of fate. Yet Lo shall ye be remembered for your valiance, your bravery, and the legacy you left behind in the lives of those you touched even and especially in your spectacular death.
    Sleep well, sweet prince or princess, we don't know because you transcended gender and we were too grossed out to touch your corpse's nether regions. Your flame burned bright, but your candle shall remain lit in the memories of all of those who were fortunate enough to share your air.