Monday, July 24, 2017

VACATION! And a throwback.

Since I'm on vacation, here's an appropriate beachy throwback to keep you guys entertained.

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As I mentioned on Friday, my mom and I went to the beach this weekend. Here’s some random observations, brought to you through texts between me and Boyfriend.

Observation 1: I am not above stealing from a child.

Me: A girl has a pink inflatable dolphin. I want to steal it.
Boyfriend: I’m sure you can overpower her.
Me: Survival of the fittest. Sucks to be a five year old.

Don’t worry, I didn’t steal it. I was gonna punch her in the face and run away with it, but her stupid parents were totally hovering. I mean, who doesn’t let their five year old run around unattended next to a giant body of water?

Observation 2: My nose is entirely too big for my face.

It was a long day in the sun, okay? Some sunburn could not be entirely unexpected.

Me: My FACE!!!
Boyfriend: Killing me?
Me: No. You love it. Especially when its tomatoey.
“The blotchier the better.”

Seriously, I don’t know what happened. I wore sunscreen and I didn’t get burned anywhere but my face. Mainly, my nose.

Boyfriend: Jackass.
Me: MEEEE?!?!?!
I can’t help it my nose sticks out like dumbo
Well he’s an elephant so he had a big nose so that kind of works.
Boyfriend: I’m not talking to you tomato head.
Me: Who is a jackass?
Boyfriend: You.
Me: Awwwww.
I wore sunscreen I swear!

Observation 3: My vision still isn’t great.

Boyfriend: So many bats out tonight.
Me: Like me and my mom.
Yeah, I can't see for shit. 
Observation 4: Honeybadgers don’t care.

Me: Now we’re gonna bring wine to the pool even though the rules say not to cuz we’re bad asses
Boyfriend: Wear your leather jackets and sunglasses.

Yeah, it was pretty much like this.

Observation 5: It’s a palm tree.

Me:  Look. It’s a radioactive palm tree. Damn nuclear meltdown.

Boyfriend: Good thing you have those sunglasses.

And that was my weekend.

Bonus Observation: Damn, I look good in leather. 


  1. Why does Boyfriend have long hair and no stubble? How old IS this post? Or is that a . . . a . . . DIFFERENT boyfriend?

    1. That's not Boyfriend. That's Mom. Boyfriend can't ever, ever go away.

    2. Ha, janie is right! Went on vacay w mom. Boyfriend took care of cat.

      boy, my drawings are bad... :P

  2. Wine at the pool? You rebel!

  3. Everyone looks good in a black leather jacket!!

  4. I know it's most likely not, but with that much focus on your nose being big, I can't help but wonder if this blog is secretly being run by a proboscis monkey.

    I've heard stranger.

  5. Gia the red-nosed reindeer. I wish I had thought to take wine everywhere I go. I take whine instead.


  6. I vaguely remember this. Which, I think is a good sign that I haven't killed that brain cell yet. Yet...

  7. Everyone looks good in a black leather jacket!!