Monday, April 25, 2016

27,000 Dresses

What's new with me, you ask? This:

Ok, my actual dress is slightly less mermaid like and does not come with a tiny hat (their mistake, imho.)  I AM going to be in a wedding this summer, though! This is my first bridesmaid gig so...I'm sure I'll fuck it up, somehow. Anyone have any wedding horror stories? Share!


  1. I thought Bridesmaid dresses were chosen for you, thrust upon you? Forced on you like an assault on your epidermis and good taste. I was in a wedding party once and was forced to wear a vest. Now, I'm all legs, so when someone forces me to wear a vest, I look like a frog. So screw the uniformity of wedding party dress-up.

  2. Thank the Goddess, I have NEVER been a bridesmaid. Much less a bride. It's one of the major perks of being a lesbian. Or at least it was, until they legalized same-sex marriage, those thoughtless bastards.

  3. You are a very funny lady!

    My DIL has been in several bridal parties and trice MOH. Expensive and dresses to never again see the light of day. I guess it is a tradition.

  4. I have been a bridesmaid a number of times and have worn an array of ugly bridesmaids dresses. I doubt that you can screw up being a bridesmaid. If anything...let's say you do something "interesting" you will be doing the bride a huge favor by set her wedding apart and make it "memorable". Seriously, who remembers most weddings other than the bride the groom and the parents that paid for it?

  5. Yeah, what Pickleope said. I thought it was practically a uniform hand picked for you by the bride, made to match the other bridesmaids. No horror story as a dude, but according to my wife, insecure brides often make the bridesmaids wear something really ugly so that the bride will be guaranteed to be the most beautiful woman in the wedding... by default.

  6. When I was a bridesmaid, I wore what I was told to wear. When I was a matron of honor, it was a more informal wedding to which we wore somewhat coordinated outfits. My daughter was in a wedding (I know because I saw the photos on Facebook). The dresses were beautiful. One shoulder and kind of a magenta color. My daughter looked beautiful. The only wedding horror story I have is that I got married.


  7. Here's my bridesmaid horror story:
    My friend decided to have us wear turquoise/magenta taffeta shift dresses. The groomsmen (I think there were 8 or so) were in top hats and tails. The maid of honour was beautiful. The bride was stunning. The bridesmaids (there were about 12 of us) were in wrinkled strappy nightgowns. We all came from different places so each had to mail in our measurements. All of us were in ankle length duds except for one girl: somehow her dress had a plunging neckline and ended mid-calf.
    Because the dresses were taffeta every wrinkle was two-toned. We steamed them to within an inch of burning them down (one girl actually got burnt on her leg) but they would not stay smooth.
    Oh and one of the girls quickly left in the middle of the ceremony to go pass out loudly in the hallway.
    The couple is now divorced.