I'm Such a Grown Up (And Kitty's a Menace)

I recently bought a new thing.

It's a couch! (Ok, a loveseat.)

Kitty noticed it too.

 

 

So now I've stocked up on double sided tape, anti scratching spray (waste of money), a tin can with pennies, and an iron will. 

Anyone ever successfully stop a cat from ruining their adulthood brand new furniture?

Happy Memorial Day!

Don't Stop Thinking About Kitty

Probably listen to this as you read for the full effect.

If you wake up and don't want to smile

If you hit snooze just a little while

Open your eyes and get out of bed

Or your damn cat will stand on your head.

Don't stop meowing at Gia

Don't stop til she gets her ass up

Breakfast will be sooner than before

Hunger is gone, hunger is gone!

Why not chase around the toys and run

And use the laser pointer for some fun

If that red dot won't come to you

Just think what your claws can do!

Don't stop looking out the window

Don't stop the birds will soon be here

Hopefully they'll get closer than before

My freedom is gone, my freedom is gone!

All I want is to murder a bird

If I can't then I will be heard

I know you don't believe that it's true,

I definitely mean some harm to you.

Don't stop meowing on the futon

Don't stop meowing in bed

It'll be louder than before

Peace and quiet is gone, peace and quiet is gone!

Alarm Cat 3000

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Unlike normal alarm clocks that run out of batteries or won't work during a power outage, nothing stops Alarm Cat from doing its job!

And there's more! Alarm Cat 3000 comes with a snooze setting! Just drag your ass out of bed, feed it its morning meal, and go back to sleep for up to 20 minutes*

*or as long as it takes alarm cat to eat the food, clean itself, and demand more attention.

Alarm Cat 3000, order yours today!

Just a Little Summer Cold

(And the truth is, my traitor cat was curled up on Boyfriend last night. What an asshole.)

I'm reacting appropriately, I believe.

Sigh. It's tragic. I'll be fine, though. Probably. 

 Summer colds are the worst, yes? Yes.