Monday, June 6, 2016

Gia vs Kitty, a Battle of Wills

Perhaps you guys remember that my cat had taken to waking me up around 5 am to feed her last May?

My solution was to buy a timed feeder and set it for 5 am, so my precious princess kitty can eat when she wants to.

After a brief period of adjustment, it's been working pretty smoothly. (Sure, kitty had that whole "smash self against the wall because i see a speck of light" thing going on, but I taped my shades shut and she's gotten over that.)

Anyway, kitty gets fed, Gia gets sleep, and everyone's happy.

Or at least, that's how it was. 

Suddenly, for the past four nights, this shit has started happened at 4:30 am.

Rolling over and/or yelling works for a few minutes. Then she comes back again and again.

So I either get up and manually open the feeder 15 minutes before it was set to open, or wake up repeatedly until it finally opens on its own.

I don't really want to start setting it earlier, because she's going to start demanding to eat in the middle of the night and then beg me for more food during the day. 

But, I want to sleep more. So I guess kitty wins this round. You want breakfast at 4:30 kitty? FINE. 

But then THIS shit happened a few hours later.

Yes, I literally jumped out of bed to yell at kitty.


  1. I think cats just want to fuck with us. They are devious little creatures. My cat gets feed at 5 as well because that is when I get up but every once in awhile, she feels the need to start meowing in the middle of the night. I think she is saying she has insomnia (linked to the fact she sleeps all day) and if she can't sleep, I should wake up in solidarity. She is 17 now so I make allowances but if she weren't so old she would find herself confined to a different floor in our house. Hope your kitty finds a new bad habit that doesn't involved disturbing your sleep.

  2. This is how cats test whether you are a pushover or not. I don't really need to tell you how you scored, do I? My cat HRH used to be fed at 5:00 pm when I got home from work. But once My Rare One retired and was home all day, HRH's relentless nagging resulted in suppertime being moved up, hour by hour, until she was getting her gushy food at 1:00 pm.

  3. I can remember when you could not wait to get a cat. They are cute though.

  4. I will tell you the secret. When a cat hops on your bed and starts meowing at half past un-gawdly, there is a specific sequence of actions to do, and kitty will go off and be silent. Guaranteed.
    Step 1: Grab cat firmly. Like, really firmly.
    Step 2: Give it a big dose of night-time human breath right up close. (this might be enough the first time.)
    Step 3: Lick, yes with your tongue and it's best if you had something spicy last night, the cat's face from nose to ears. Slobber on it. Drool. Make disgusting mmmmm kitty i love you noises. Lip-bite it's ears. Wetly. Pretend to be asleep throughout. You probably won't still be hanging onto the cat at this point unless you're really good. This isn't as bad as it sounds because the fur on the face is quite short and clean.
    Step 4: Let go, if this hasn't happened already.
    Step 5 (optional): Get up, pee, brush teeth. Note that cats hate minty fresh breath too. Just saying.
    Step 6: Roll over and go back to sleep. It will take the cat hours to wash it's face and get the human goo off, to say nothing of making extensive notes for the cat judge. Yes you will be glared at. So what. Man up and deal with it.
    Step 7: Repeat as necessary. Even a stupid cat doesn't need more than a couple of these to get the idea.

    1. Please do this and put it on YouTube. Pretty please.

  5. I wish I could rig up some timer feeding thing for my baby. I'll have to get proficient at making elaborate Rube Goldberg devices.

  6. Add this to the list of reasons why I refuse to get any pets except for kyle, our beta fish. Lol

  7. Satisfying a cat is impossible. Sometimes my dogs try to talk me into serving dinner early. I refuse. In fact, some evenings I serve dinner thirty or even sixty minutes late. It confuses the hell out of them. Now they don't ask for an early dinner as often.


  8. I assume this is just payback for all of the times she was sleeping during the day and you poked her and woke her up because it's cute?

  9. Have you tried just leaving the food out around the clock? Most cats (if they are the only cat in the home) will self regulate and eat only as needed. If you like to give wet food treats, try getting the cat used to having that in the evening only.

    Of course, cats will do what they please. So your mileage may vary. But it might be worth a try to change the routine. Good luck!!

  10. Early to bed, and early to rise, makes Gia healthy, wealthy and wise.
    - your kitty, probably, because of course we have to assume that she's well-intentioned, right?

  11. I just leave enough out for them to eat when they want. They may wake me up for other needs, but not because they're hungry. With nine of the little darlings, I'm pretty much of a cat caterer anyway.