Thursday, September 4, 2014

Throwback Thursday: Rational Fears about Boyfriend's Trip

Throwback Thursday: Since Boyfriend is once again going out west where there are whores and cougars and bears and giant canyons he can fall into, this post feels especially relevant this week. 
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

So, as I mentioned last week, Boyfriend is on vacation with his kids for a whole 10 days. He’s going to the Grand Canyon and other parks in Arizona/Utah.

And since hey, I’m crazy, I’m having some concerns about this trip, much like when he went to New Orleans.  What am I worried about, you ask?

1. Cougars.
Not this kind:
Remember her?
But this kind:
Yes, a cougar does look surprisingly like a lioness. Shut up.

2. Wives. 
He’s going to Utah too. What if he converts to Mormonism there and comes back with a bunch of wives?!?

Here, let me break it down for you:
Clicky to make bigger and read.
I fear this will happen:

This is how it works, right?

Watch yourself, Boyfriend.

3. The Canyon itself
It’s a giant hole, right?!? WHAT IF HE FALLS IN?!?!

Suddenly realizing that I’ve made it painfully obvious that I have not yet been to the grand canyon.

4. Zombie Sluts

Just cuz. I mean, you never know where they'll show up.

Anyhoo, I googled “scary things about the grand canyon” and other fears now include mules on the trails, freezing, starving, drowning, sunburn, but really the multiple wives thing.

Only 6 more days til he comes home! 


  1. It must be difficult living in your head...entertaining for the rest of us though!

  2. I read an interesting book many years ago called "From Mormon Wife to Lesbian Life." Seriously, it's a real book.

  3. Zombie Sluts. I have all their albums.

  4. Why don't you go along and play "the nanny"?


  5. Stop worrying. I'm sure if you agree to take charge of feeding everyone in the household, Boyfriend would be happy to make you wife number seven.

  6. I love everything about this post. Mostly you threatening to stab your boyfriend. I thought I was the only person who did that!

  7. Super cartoons! Everything is better in cartoon mode.