Thursday, December 1, 2011

Kitty Chronicles: My Sister’s Cats are More Loved and Important in my Family than I Am.


My sister, who lives with my parents, has two cats: 

TroubleMaker

It's hard to get good pictures of this one when she's awake

and

Cutie
It's okay to go "awwwwww"

We all love the cats. However, they’re evil bitches. And my family seems to have been brainwashed by them. For example, they don’t think it’s disgusting when the cats sit on the kitchen counter. Or drink out of the faucet. Or stick their heads in water glasses. Or stick their stupid little heads in my WINE.


Exhibit A:



I get yelled at for weird things, like leaving the toilet seat cover up. Because apparently a grown cat can drown in 3-5 inches of water. Or putting “too much cat food” in their bowls, because apparently that confuses them.


My current beef?

I’ve lost the right to shower alone.  Firstly, showers at home were never that great to begin with. The water pressure is awful and if someone has the gall to flush the toilet while you’re in the shower, it literally becomes a drip. You have to schedule showers around the washing machine/dishwasher/people’s bathroom breaks.

But now, it’s worse. TroubleMaker insists on hanging around the bathroom and hopping on the counter any time someone walks in, in an attempt to get us to turn on the water and let her drink from the faucet because she’s too good for stagnant water.


After unsuccessfully shooing her out for a few minutes and getting no help from my family, I said screw it and locked the door and turned on the shower. Kitty was VERY judgmental when I got nekkid before jumping in the water, fyi.


Have you ever had a cat watch you shower? It’s unsettling, to say the least.








Actually, it’s fucking creepy.


I had to keep compulsively checking to see if she was staring at me like that.




She was.


It was a staring match. Kitty won.


I hope Kitty enjoyed the show, because that is the last freaking time that happens.  Seriously, I’m taking a stand next time I go home. RECLAIM THE SHOWER!





Wish me luck.

24 comments:

  1. Toss a handful of water at that judgmental cat (the look in the cat's eyes was perfect by the way). That's why I only have fish. They don't give me guff no matter what I do in front of them.

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  2. That was funny...and cleverly done.

    Good job ma'am.

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  3. TroubleMaker was watching the demons have ghost sex with you. Only cats can see them.

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  4. Oh boy. This is beyond funny for several reasons. 1) I have cats; 2) 2 of them INSIST on drinking from the faucet in the bathroom; 3) one of them must be in the bathroom on the counter or the window sill AT. ALL. TIMES; 4) My cat Rox is an 8 yr old adorable non-stop ball of fluff. Unless she's sleeping, good luck getting a picture. I feel your pain with the staring match. I get it too. It's ok though, I get them back.

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  5. My dog actually watches me shower. But just one of them (I have 4). She'll just sit there, staring at my silhouette through the curtains, and when I poke my head out, she does that stupid thing where she cocks her head to the side in curiosity. I thought it was kinda cute, but reading over this post, I guess it's actually kind of creepy, huh?

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  6. Haha! Very funny post. I know what you mean, I feel weird doing anything in the bathroom if there is an animal in there. I love your blog, it's very entertaining! Following!

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  7. ABFTS - She's probably protecting you from showermonsters. Everyone knows dogs are morally superior to cats. It's significantly less creepy when a dog does it.

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  8. Had a cat that used to jump into the shower with me and play in the water! Nothing like getting out of the shower with cat hair stuck all over your legs.....sigh....Loved that cat!

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  9. Cats are allowed to be mischievous as long as they're as cute as that one :3

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  10. Cutie is definitely that. Naawwwww!

    Cats who invade your private space are easy to counter, but it takes balls.

    Next time you take a poop, lock the cat in with you. They will never bother your bathroom time again.

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  11. Oh lord... That reminds me of exbf's cat, Logan. Logan would not let me go to the bathroom by myself. If I had to pee, Logan HAD to be in the bathroom, snuggling all up on my leg... and I'm just like, "DUDE! I'm trying to pee here!"

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  12. LOL! I have in-laws that let their cats climb on everything too. Don't know if they shower-peep though; I'll have to ask!

    My dogs are always in the bathroom when I pee, but leave when I take a shower. I guess my "nekkidness" scares them. ;-)

    P.S. Great blog, by the way! Glad the Boyfriend talked you into starting one!

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  13. Did you draw those cartoons? I love it!

    Heidi- www.GirltoMom.com

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  14. Yes! I draw all the pictures here. That's why so many are terrible.

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  15. my cats do the SAME FUCKING THING.... and it drives me crazy. I try to avoid letting them in there for that very reason.

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  16. lol cute illustrations but... I never losing a staring contest...

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  17. My dog watches me shower, then she goes and steals my bra that is left on the floor (cause I get naked when I shower, weird) and hides them in her bed.

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  18. i have a friend who has her cat and dog live in everything she owns. the fur is literally found everywhere inside the house.
    once she baked me a brownie and as i broke a piece, i saw a connecting dog hair !

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  19. Haha, this is great. I once looked up from my bath and saw my cat staring at me. I have to say, I felt violated. It was not good.. so I feel your pain. At least that cat was my own though, if anyone elses cat did it I'd be horrified.. x

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  20. I like it when my kitty takes a shower with me. He sits on the bathroom floor and I shower and ignore him while he plays in between the two curtains. I flick water at him and he runs away. And comes back. He climbs up on the tub and peeks his head around the curtain. Sometimes he almost falls in. Then he freaks out and runs away. Its entertaining :)

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  21. In my old apartment building cats use to sit on the roof and watch me shower through the cracked window (for steam ventilation). Creepy!

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  22. I don't mind when my cat watches me because at least then I know he's not knocking my earrings off the cabinet and batting them around :/

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  23. Well, my partner and I have a cat named Alden. He's really into water... That's kind of unusual for cats here in our place and we actually love it whenever Alden follows us everywhere we go in our house, especially in the shower. It's cute, for us... :3

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