Friday, June 21, 2013

Ralph the Lady Bug

Me: Aww it’s a cute lil lady bug!  What’s your name?
Ralph: Hey! Who you callin’ cute?
Me: Uhhhhhhh….
Ralph: I’m a manly lady bug! Name’s Ralph!
Me: Uhhhh….
Ralph: Let me guess. You always think of lady bugs as ladies?
Me: Well, yes. Only because they’re…
Ralph: called lady bugs?
Me: No. Adorably polka dotted. Do you ever see men in polka dots? Hmm?
Ralph: All the time!

Ralph: Shut up Boyfriend!
Me: Okay Ralph. Tell me about your hobbies.
Ralph: I like football, beer, and crocheting.
Me: Sorry, what was that last one?
Ralph: Shut your whore mouth, Gia.
Me: Boy, you’re cute when you’re angry, lil guy.
Ralph: Grumble grumble.

 I don't even know, guys. I don't even know. 


  1. That's one surly lady bug. I guess guy lady bugs have some sort of complex. Why do I feel like I'm high after reading this?

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    1. Hey, I'm okay with transexual lady bugs. Or perhaps we should come up with a more politically correct term for them, such as People Bugs.

      Nope, that wouldn't be creepy at all.

  3. That lady bug needs to get laid,,,then maybe he will be a little more happy :)

  4. I think we should create a menswear line-- strictly polka dots.

  5. I love the cameo by Boyfriend!

  6. Ralph reminds me of Francis from A Bug's Life. Francis was a male ladybug too and he was also a bit grumpy when people mistook him for a girl. Plus? He sounded just like Denis Leary! Ralph's in good company!

  7. Ralph will be the manliest man bug. I imagine him crocheting a manly scarf.

  8. I know someone named Ralph. I like him, and he's quite a manly man.


  9. Henceforth I shall say unto my hubz, on those moments when he pisses me right off, "Shut your whore mouth!" Because that seems like it tastes good to say.

  10. I'd like to meet Mrs. Ralph next.

  11. I love him! I love him so much!

  12. I just had to scrub my eyes with soap from picturing my husband in a polka dot shirt. **shudder**

  13. wow. he's a grumpy manly bug.
    I saw a nasty grub in my garden today - I bet their perfect for each other!!