Monday, April 29, 2013

And Then I Fell Down


It was great weather this weekend, so I went for a walk on Saturday.



And then out of nowhere, the stupid evil sidewalk jumped up and tripped me and I fell.





I skinned both my hands and knees pretty badly. I got up and powerwalked back to my apartment.



You guys, skinning your hands and knees HURTS. No wonder kids are always crying. Seriously.


I texted Boyfriend:





Luckily Boyfriend soon arrived with bandaids.


He patched me up as much as he could.


And I spent the rest of the night moaning about my injuries.


Friday, April 26, 2013

DARD: Spring Update





Me: Why, hello ducky!
Ducky: Hi Gia
Me: How’s ducks against raping ducks going?
Ducky: Um, okay.
Me: Just okay?
Ducky: Well, we’ve definitely cut down on local duck rape.
Me: Congrats!
Ducky: But have you watched the news? Human rape is a real problem!
Me: I know, I know.
Ducky: Like those two recent cases of girls being raped while they’re unconscious and later committing suicide because the rapists took pictures of it and they were tormented about it at school? 
Me: I know, it’s horrible
Ducky: Fuck yeah it is! Ducks don’t even do that to each other, Gia. DUCKS.
Me: Yep
Ducky: AND WE’RE THE RAPIEST OF ALL ANIMALS.
Me: Rape culture is a problem here
Ducky: Yeah, no fucking joke that rape culture is a problem! Why do you teach girls not to get raped instead of teaching boys not to rape? It blames the victim!
Me: Well I personally don’t I mean I’m a feminist…
Ducky: You know what I mean.
Me: I can’t answer this question. 
Ducky: It’s terrible. I mean, what’s the point of giving out rape whistles if unconscious people are getting raped?!?! HMM??
Me: Not sure…
Ducky: I need to come up with a new pamphlet to hand out.
Me: Oh yeah?
Ducky: Yep, something like this:
 
Ducky is a real go-getter


Wednesday, April 24, 2013

4/20! You Know What That Means!


For me and Boyfriend this year, nothing.

No getting potted up this year for us!
I don’t really care about weed, but as I have written before, Boyfriend occasionally partakes. 4/20 fell on Saturday, which is also his carb day. It would have been perfect. If he had any weed.






It’s Boyfriend’s duty to smoke on 4/20! As a lover of freedom and weed!


Sigh. If only.


Monday, April 22, 2013

Bras and Other Random Things


This post is a total mishmash of stuff.

First. Did anyone see this story about bras?

To sum up:

It says that bras aren’t good for women, really (and in fact, can do more long term harm than good, in terms of sagginess).



Second. Game of Thrones [SPOILER ALERT!]

Soooo…. I watched the third episode of the season. This happened:




What? I have the hots for incest knight.

Third. How’s work going, you ask?

Fuck what, Gia?

There, I told you this was a mishmash. Excuse me, I need to go hang out in my new favorite place.


Friday, April 19, 2013

And Then I Made a Mess.


So Boyfriend and I were in his seaside house last weekend. It was a low-key night. We were just hanging out in the living room, and this happened:




It made a mess, y’all. It looked like a scene from Dexter. There was glass all over, and red wine splattered on the leather couch (ok) and freshly painted white walls (not okay).



Boyfriend was good though. He cleaned it all up and even repainted the part of the wall the next morning.


But back to that night.  After I killed the wine glass, we decided to go upstairs to the bedroom. I was helping Boyfriend make the bed…

Putting the bottom sheet on the mattress is SO HARD.
Technically, this time it was a big elbow gesture.
And then my elbow knocked into my glass of water.


 I grabbed my  iphone immediately, so that was fine. The rest wasn’t too big of a deal.


Yes, he got my water. Boyfriend = best.
The evening was not going my way.


And then Boyfriend threw a blanket on me.