Chaos Kitty

On Saturday, I went to Boyfriend's house to hang out. We were sitting upstairs with the Doggo and one of his kitties (Milo), when this happened. 

It's not shocking that the other cat, Archer, would get into trouble. Boyfriend went downstairs to investigate. 

So then Doggo, Milo, and I rushed downstairs to see what the commotion was about. 

Yep. Archer was rampaging through the house with a real mouse squeaking away in his mouth. 

Boyfriend and I chased Archer around to try to get him outside, while Milo tried to investigate what exactly was happening and Doggo jumped in on the fun. Here's my artistic rendering of the event. I call it 'Chaos Kitty'

Yep. I'm thinking of getting a mural of this painted in my apartment. 

Anyway, we finally got it outside and Boyfriend put the mouse out of its misery (RIP). Archer spent the rest of the night preening. Doggo settled down fairly quickly, and Milo stayed confused about what happened. 

Reality TV: Kitty Edition

Remember how we re-imaged wife swap with cats a few weeks ago? Here are some more brilliant ideas:

CATVIVOR:

I haven't watched this show in years, but I imagine it would be more interesting with cats

AMERICAN IDOL: KITTY EDITION

Yes, kitty "sings" for cheese. She's no Kelly Clarkson, but haven't they run out of talent by now? 

KEEPING UP WITH THE CATDASHIANS (thanks to pickleope for the idea!)

I know, I shoulda made it "Katdashians"

Pretty much cats being catty about cat things. Imposssible to tell the differece between this and the original.

THE AMAZING RACE...WITH CATS!

I'll be honest. I have literally never seen an episode of this show. I'm not even convinced it's a real show, even though it keeps winning the emmy for reality programming, right? I have no idea what channel/what season/what time its on. Do they even show it in america? I've barely seen a preview for it. 

Anyway, my point is, I'm sure there's some running in it. Kitty would excel at that show, especially if I could use a laser pointer. 

And finally...

LITTLE KITTENS BIG GIRL

Boyfriend came up with this one. He's an asshole, but it made me laugh, so there you have it. It would be me with kitties all day every day. #Dreamjob

Leave suggestions for other catified reality tv shows in the comments! I'm already planning my "cat moms" post...

I GOT A KITTY!!!!

Big news you guys:

YAAAY!!!!! She's a 12 week old kitten who is absolutely adorable. 

Things did not go smoothly when I first brought her home.

Luckily, hero Boyfriend made an appearance.

He got her to come out and say hi. 

She was sad when she first came home :( 

Later, she warmed up a bit and even cuddled with us. 

I didn't want to startle her.

So there you have it! I'll try not to make this blog become totally cat focused, but no promises. 

Futons are Heavy

I spend a lot of time on my futon.

Yeah, this. 

So I finally decided it was time to wash my futon cover. All my own.

Anyway, do you know how hard it is to wrest a futon mattress?!?

I did finally manage to get the futon cover off and washed.

But then I realized I had only done the easy part. I still had to put the cover back on the futon.

(Does anyone else know that adorable gif of the kitty that goes “fuck this fuck that, fuck this thing in particular”? Boyfriend and I love it).

Since I was becoming an expert at futons, I now knew what to do.

And then:

Well, that should be good for 6 to 8  months.

And Then I Fell Down

It was great weather this weekend, so I went for a walk on Saturday.

And then out of nowhere, the stupid evil sidewalk jumped up and tripped me and I fell.

I skinned both my hands and knees pretty badly. I got up and powerwalked back to my apartment.

You guys, skinning your hands and knees HURTS. No wonder kids are always crying. Seriously.

I texted Boyfriend:

Luckily Boyfriend soon arrived with bandaids.

He patched me up as much as he could.

And I spent the rest of the night moaning about my injuries.

And Then I Made a Mess.

So Boyfriend and I were in his seaside house last weekend. It was a low-key night. We were just hanging out in the living room, and this happened:

It made a mess, y’all. It looked like a scene from Dexter. There was glass all over, and red wine splattered on the leather couch (ok) and freshly painted white walls (not okay).

Boyfriend was good though. He cleaned it all up and even repainted the part of the wall the next morning.

But back to that night.  After I killed the wine glass, we decided to go upstairs to the bedroom. I was helping Boyfriend make the bed…

Putting the bottom sheet on the mattress is SO HARD.

Technically, this time it was a big elbow gesture.

And then my elbow knocked into my glass of water.

 I grabbed my  iphone immediately, so that was fine. The rest wasn’t too big of a deal.

Yes, he got my water. Boyfriend = best.

The evening was not going my way.

And then Boyfriend threw a blanket on me.