Thursday, May 3, 2012

Support DARD! End Duck Rape!

Time for a DARD update! If you don’t know what I’m talking about, go here or here for background.

Me: Hi Ducky!
Ducky: Hi Gia.
Me: How goes your DARD campaign?
Ducky: Great, thanks! I’ve been handing out duckrape whistles to lady ducks!
Me: That’s good.
Ducky: Yep, but we have to be extra vigilant now! Duck rape occurs most often in springtime.
Me: Really? I didn’t know that.
Ducky: Well, I don’t know for sure, Gia. I’m not a scientist. But it SOUNDS right.
Me: Good point. Anything I can do to help?
Ducky: Have you raped any ducks lately?
Me: I have not. 
Ducky: Good. Cuz you know, that’s the first step. To stop raping ducks.
Me: Makes sense.
Ducky: Is my DARD button still on your blog?
Me: Yes! And look, 8 bloggers proudly support DARD on their blog. (Well, at least 8 have told me. If you have a DARD button up and you’re not on the list, let me know!)
Ducky: Those 8 bloggers are my favorite.
Me: Hey hey, it’s not nice to play favorites.
Ducky: …it’s true, though. STOP DUCK RAPE! SUPPORT DARD! NO MEANS NO!
Me: Oh no, are you in chanting mode again?
Me: …I gotta go.


  1. It does sound right that spring would be the rapiest of seasons for ducks.
    Could a duck actually blow a whistle? Where are the Mythbusters when you need 'em?

  2. I haven't raped a duck before. I don't think I could make such a time commitment right now to be a duck rapist. I hear the hours are rather long, and you tend be more successful when it's raining. Not a vocation that suits me.

  3. I am still a supporter of DARD! In fact, I will give DARD a shoutout in the next GoT episode! Would that make Ducky happy?

  4. Ducky is probably right. Spring sounds like a rape filled season.

  5. Spring is big duck raping season where I'm from because of the Children's annual duck race down the river. Thousands and thousands of ducks are snagged from their home to be thrown into the dirty river, most get trapped in trash along the way. It's a sad sad sight for all ducks even the plastic bathtub floaty kind. A duck is a duck right?

  6. I used to support DARD, but then a duck and I got drunk, some things happened, and I still maintain she brought it upon herself.

  7. Man, Ducky is really working hard at this. Maybe you should make him a Ducky friend. Like some Duck version of Blue's Clues where Blue was blue and Magenta was... magenta. How not clever they were.

  8. I suggest you have Ducky to tell those Mallards to stop dressing so provocative. Shaking their tail feathers everything they leave the pond.

  9. I wonder how Ducky feels about my new friend Quack the Ripper. I mean, I know he is opposed to duck rape, but how does he feel about duck on duck murder and dismemberment?

  10. You do realize that because of this I love you more than life itself? I am so putting this badge on my blog!

  11. It is such a wonderful cause you are getting out their in the public eye! So proud of you and your efforts! :-)

  12. Spring really does sound right... All the extra ducks... gets people randy I wold think.

  13. Well, Gia I think we can all agree that raping ducks is WRONG. But..If you had an image loader on your comment section, I would attach the poster I saw also dealing with duck sex. One of the hunter groups, called "Hunter's Love to Bang" has a poster out with a logo of F*** A Duck..I called the group to chew them out for their insensitively but the guy said that they WANT ducks to procreate and that they are only talking about consensual sex among the ducks.

  14. Oh ducky, getting all caught up in the cause. Spring being the big duck raping season and all, makes it hard to enjoy the season.

  15. I have to support DARD. If I didn't my rubber ducky (Named Silly Goose) would move out. I like Silly Goose a lot and she has a crush on Ducky, so...yeah. Plus, duck rape is bad!

  16. I do like the very serious look in the face of that duck.

    While duck rape sounds strange at first, I have seen a lot of older men trying to lure them closer with bread.

  17. I wonder what a duck with a nylon over his head would look like. Now I'm suspicious of that sneaky chihuahua next door.

  18. I should have all kinds of comments for this. But all I can do is giggle considering what just happened in the kitchen.

  19. I'd stop raping ducks if they didn't look so much like my boyfriend. It's an accident. Promise.

  20. oh my giddy aunt... I totally saw a duck being gang raped once. I am scarred for life! I am so with you on this! Love Elle xo

  21. I added your badge. It's quite amusing. Goes well with the theme of my blog, ironically, then.

    Maybe I just like the word "amusing" too much.