Monday, June 10, 2019

Book of Mormon

I saw Book of Mormon this weekend, which was excellent and also reminded me of my totally 100% true history of mormon post from a few years ago. Enjoy!
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I was watching a scientology documentary, which made me think of other made up religions (all of them?). So, sorry any mormon readers (but also, cmonnnnnnnn). Here's the story of mormon, interpreted from the wikipedia entry on Joseph Smith. And also from the song "I Believe" from the Book of Mormon  musical as performed on the Tonys a few years ago. 

There once was a man named Boyfriend Joseph Smith. 


And this is his wife, Wife Gia. 



They lived during the Second Great Awakening,  and Boyfriend Smith spent a lot of time at revival camps. 



And then one day, Boyfriend Smith disappeared for awhile.






Boyfriend Smith continued to go to the hill and visit the magic gold books. Wife Gia did not appreciate that he was skipping out on his husbandly duties.









Boyfriend Smith realized none of the religions in their town were accepting of him and his magical gold books, so they needed to go west.



So they went west. 



Boyfriend Smith tried to spread his teachings in Ohio, but they weren't exactly welcoming.


So they went wester.  











And that's not only how Mormonism began, but also how Joseph Smith died. No need for you to fact check any of this, it is 100% true. The end.