As I’ve written before, I’m blind as a bat. I went to
the eye doc a little over a year ago, but since then, my vision has gotten
worse again. I’m going to the eye doctor today for a new prescription.
It’s sad for me. I want laser vision surgery some day when
I’m not quite so poor.
Anyway, Boyfriend and I recently had this conversation:
(I can’t have pets in my lease. It’s very sad for me. I want a cat.)
You guys, wouldn’t that be AMAZING?
And my landlord would HAVE to let me have them.
I’d be the happiest blind person in the whole wide world.
Seriously you guys, I can’t wait.
I am quite entertained by the fact that the duck is sitting in your head. And if you're giving out pony rides, I want one!
ReplyDeleteNo shit, Gia, get thy ass to an eye doctor. And your eyes. Your eyes can be a first indicator of overall health issues. Take care of them. Rearrange your budget if you must.
ReplyDeleteA seeing eye shetland horse would be awesome (they're like dwarf horses). But if you were blind, a seeing eye cat would be the worst, you'd get hit by a car within the first ten minutes.
ReplyDeleteYou are funny. So funny. Having a whole seeing eye Zoo is probably the brightest scheme ever!!
ReplyDeleteBe careful if you get laser surgery. Then you might actually get your wish. I know, it's like a .01% chance, they say, and yet my uncle lost an eye to infection after his laser surgery and now has one of those creepy glass eyes. Also, Brandon had some complications with his last year and his vision is actually worse, which I cannot actually describe in detail right now for pending legal reasons.
ReplyDelete(I know we always joke, but the proceeding comment was not actually a joke)
And then you could get in your bathtub and splash around and be like, "Oh my god, the flood is here! All the animals into the ark!" and everybody would humor you because you're blind.
ReplyDeleteI am so sad you can't have a cat! Maybe you'll find a place that allows them and you can move. That would be much preferable to.going blind.
ReplyDeleteI saw a documentary about seeing eye ponies. It was fascinating, and I totally want one for a pet now!
I don't want you to go blind. But I have to admit that seeing eye zoo looks pretty fantastic.
ReplyDeleteYou can just play dumb as to how many animals are there when the landlord asks...since you won't be able to see them all.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how small that price would be. You have to consider that yer sense of smell would become like a super power.
ReplyDeleteHmmm..., I wonder if this is how I can convince my husband that it's a GOOD thing the humans in the house are outnumbered by the animals 3:1...
ReplyDeleteHey, John Milton dictated Paradise Lost after he went blind. Perhaps being blind will unleash (no animal pun intended) even more of your creativity.
ReplyDeleteThe best part is you won't even notice all the duck crap in your hair cuz you'll be blind! No wait, the best part is the dog. And the pony. Dolphin! You totally need a seeing eye dolphin.
ReplyDeleteI'm blinder than a bat and wouldn't get the surgery even when I was rich. I knew a guy who had the surgery and was blind in one eye afterwards, and the other eye only saw fuzziness, kind of like the way our TV worked when I was young during pre-cable days. And so what if it says you can't have pets in your lease? Don't put them in your lease. Keep them in your apartment.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Don't get a Seeing Eye Duck. There's too much a risk of quack-ups.
ReplyDeleteI read somewhere once that there are seeing eye monkeys. Just saying.... ;0)
ReplyDeleteHugs!
Valerie Nunez and the Flying Platypi
You forgot the seeing eye llama!
ReplyDeleteThis seems like a perfect plan, except I'm not sure there's such thing as any seeing eye species besides dogs.
ReplyDeleteI recently came across an article about a blind dog that had its own seeing eye dog. Honest! If you don't believe me, here's the address:
http://now.msn.com/blind-dog-friends-with-terrier-helps-him-to-walk-and-see#scptmg
Anyhoo, you might want to continue saving for that laser surgery as a backup plan. You know, just in case the seeing eye zoo doesn't work out.
Oh, and I just remembered my favorite seeing eye dog joke!
ReplyDeleteYou know why greyhounds are the least popular breed for seeing eye dogs?
Because most blind people can't run that fast. (Ba-dum-bump-CHING!)
No seeing-eye monkey? At least the monkey could actually fetch things and do stuff for you. :P
ReplyDeleteI can't have pets too. It sucks!
ReplyDeleteBut I think my neighbour secretly has a cat with them.
Ha, ha, Al! i love the bat pic best of all!!!!!!! Bats rock!
ReplyDeleteLove you, Gia!