Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Boob's an issue.

Guys, you know what’s scary? Chest pain.  You know what is very similar to chest pain? Boob pain. I’m not saying I kept Boyfriend up last weekend because I had boob pain and was worried I was having a heart attack, but I’m not NOT saying that, you know what I mean? It was kind of like this:

/end scene.

[OH and for everyone who complimented my bedspread drawing and wondered if it looked like that, 1. Thank you and 2. Yes, see? ]

Sorry its all wrinkly

Anyhoo, I’m still getting  some random boob/chest pain (though not as bad as Saturday night), and I don’t like it. The next day Boyfriend and I had this follow up texting:

Boyfriend: Feeling better?
Me: Yeah. Sorry about that.
Boyfriend: I’m just happy you’re better 
Me: Sweet tired Boyfriend
Boyfriend: Groggy *then he sent a link to an article about the relationship between cats and mental illness * 
Another reason not to have cats
Me: Oh no! I’m already clearly at risk for mental illness
Boyfriend: AT RISK?!?
Me: Hush.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

D.A.R.D. Update and some Questions

For background on DARD, go here. 

Me: Hey Ducky!
Ducky: Gia! You’re the best!
Me: FINALLY, an animal that appreciates me. 
Ducky: Yeah yeah. Let’s talk more about DARD! 
Me: How’d that coming along for you?
Ducky: GREAT, especially since you blogged about duck rape awareness. Your readers are now all well informed.
Me: Yeah, and two blogs even put the button on their site! It’s spreading like wildfire!
Ducky: WHOA, Gia. Whoa.
Me: What’s wrong?
Ducky: We don’t say that. 
Me: Say what?
Me: It’s just an expression. 
Ducky: Do you know how many animal friends I’ve lost to wild fires? I wouldn’t say “Boy it’s spreading like AIDS in the 80’s.”
Me: Whoa.
Ducky: Exactly, Gia. Have some respect.
Me: ANYWAYS,  Ach du Lieber, Jayne! and Candy for Breakfast BOTH support DARD on their blogs. 
Ducky: …I bet they don’t make light of wildfires…
Me: Oh come on Ducky. I’m sorry. Don’t be like that.
Ducky: My feathers are ruffled.  I can’t help it. I’m a very sensitive bleeding heart duck. 
Me: I know Ducky, that’s why I love you.
Ducky: Are you coming on it to me again??
Me: NO! Sheesh. Hey but look – I’m putting  a list of DARD supporters on the sidebar under the DARD button to create a real community of anti duck rape. Does that make you feel better?
Ducky: It does! 
Me: Anything else you want to promote?
Ducky: We’re having a “Take Back the Pond” Rally this weekend! DUCKS AGAINST RAPING DUCKS! NO MEANS NO! 
Me: Good luck with your rally, Ducky.
Me: Yeah yeah, I got it.

If you have the DARD button on your site, let me know so I can add you to the list of supporters!

And in other news, Wicked Awesomology was kind enough to tag me in another one of those questions thingys! 

1. What would be your second choice for a book to take to a desert island, if your first choice was eaten by a beluga?
"Surviving on a Desert Island for Dummies."

2. MacDonald’s or Burger King, if you had to choose, and why?
BK. They have veggie burgers.

3. What was the last album (CD, MP3, whatever) that you purchased?
Lady Gaga's Born This Way. Unapologetically.

4. What genre would you love to be able to write well in, but have never attempted?



5. Would you eat green eggs and ham?
Only the eggs. I'm a vegetarian.

6. What is worse for you than bending back a fingernail?
Bending back TWO fingernails.

7. Who do you admire that is not related to you?
Anyone who owns a cat. Weird? Maybe. I want a kitty.

8. What is an alternate name for your blog?
The Drunken Vegetarian

9. Where would you spend your dream vacation and why?
The Island of Kitties. Or somewhere else. With beaches and nice water and no snorkeling because that's how men tend to murder their partners (looking at you, Boyfriend). And lots of alcohol, but no gang violence. Also, it'd be nice if I could get there in a way that isn't flying. 

10. What is your rejected pen name?
...The Drunken Vegetarian...

11. Why did you decide to answer these questions?
Why not? They weren't too hard.

Monday, February 27, 2012

I Went to the Doctor and He Was a Jerk.

[Linking up with yeahwrite!]

This may come as a shock to you because it appears that I subsist on wine and chocolate, but I don’t actually get sick that much (knocks furiously on wood). While I’ve gone to specialty docs like the eye doctor or dentist or gyno, I haven’t been to a general practitioner since I moved to my current location a 2.5 years ago. 

But last week, when there was definitely some a-hem, burning and bladder pain, I knew I probably had a UTI and had to go to the doctor for antibiotics. Not only because webmd convinced me that my kidneys were about to explode, but facetiming with Boyfriend was kind of like this:

So I chose a random doctor and made an appointment for 9:30 am on Tuesday. I should note that I’m also SUPER busy at work right now, so my priority was to get in, pee in a cup, get my antibiotics, and skedaddle to work. (Yes, I say skedaddle. No, I do not appreciate your judgment.)

The doctor, on the other hand, had a different agenda. Now, I get that because I am a new patient they have to ask SOME medical history questions, but they practice “whole patient care” and let’s just say it’s a little extreme. 

Fuck me. After going through the basics (which I answered without a problem), he got a bit nosy.

I swear he really said that.

Of course, this happened.

 And then the barrage came:
I swear all these were asked. And this is just the tip of the iceberg.

Guys, if I wanted to be interrogated, I would have called my mom. And given her one word non-answers too.

And THEN the condescending jerkface said this:

You know, for another fun check up to talk about our feelings and maybe some potential pet names.

Did I mention I don't take well to guilt tripping or shaming??


And that’s how I got over my UTI.

Linking up with blog bash! It's hard to pick a FAVORITE post - I like this one a lot though!

Friday, February 24, 2012

Friday Photographs!

Hi guys! Time for more random pictures from my phone. Let’s start with something that pisses me off. Like, remember how all my appliances were against me?

Well, here’s how hot it got over the summer when the air conditioner broke:

That is 87 MOTHERFUCKING DEGREES. See, I'm not exaggerating when I say it was like:
Ok, I'm exaggerating two degrees. It was hell though.

And then the washer broke and I made the landlord replace it and she dragged it to the living room:

That ain’t right.

And then she left trash in our place to take care of:

Also not cool. In case you guys are wondering, yes, I am documenting this shit in case it’s ever needed. And yes, I can’t wait to move out in a few months. And no, I have no idea where I’m going to live. Possibly out of the trunk of my car.

ROAR! Okay, I need to calm down.

AWWWWW. Now I feel better.

Are you guys still upset for me? Well, here’s a double rainbow!

Oooo. Ahhhhhh. 

Here’s some photos from back over the summer, when I was vacationing at the beach with my family. Check out this pretty sunset from a boat we were on:
I was on a boat motherfucker! Don't you ever forget!
And here’s a bench from that beach town:

In case you’re wondering, it says

In your death, a part of me dies and goes with you.
Where you go, I also go.
You will not be alone.

I find this equal parts creepy and sweet. That’s all I’d like to say about it for now.

Okay, I need something to get my mind off of that. Oh hey, how about some booze?

This is a delicious strawberry margarita. I wish this picture wasn’t a few years old and was actually right now so I could be drinking it.

 This is a puzzle. I’m a dork and I like doing them.

Guys, it’s a polar bear golf cover! It’s my other valentine’s day gift to Boyfriend, besides the heart shaped boxers. I figure because I’m such a good luck charm, this will definitely improve his name. In case you’re wondering, he got me a pretty necklace, and something that will be introduced to you all probably next week.

I like this picture a lot. What’s not to like? It’s kitties and a gnome.

Okay, you guys wanna see a real picture of Boyfriend now??

Look! That’s Boyfriend holding the black kitty that comes around seaside town. Isn’t that a cute kitty? And a sexy sexy ear? Ladies, hands off! He’s mine!

Okay, time to wrap this up before you all die of boredom. Here’s the last picture:

Yep, that’s a dog in the sidecar of a motorcycle. I was walking around this quirky town near me one day and saw this guy, and had to snap a picture. Awesomesauce, right? Right.

Have a great weekend everyone!