Post-Debate Analysis

Gah.

It's Time.

Hello friends. Today I have a secret to share. 

seriously what a small, pathetic man. 

TA-DAAAAAA!

Yep, that's me. Blogger hero extraordinaire. *takes bow* 

Election Update: The Aftermath

Well. What a shocking, painful end to the garbagefest that was this election. It feels like an actual nightmare. 

 True story. No judgement though kitty - my tummy hurts when I'm upset too. 

Anyway, this is the last political post you're getting from me in awhile. I'm devastated by what happened, super concerned about the future of the country and the climate, and can't imagine finding any humor in it going forward. (I mean, not that you guys were living and dying by the half dozen or so political posts I put up this year...) 

Don't worry, I have lots of material about the kitties, Boyfriend, our upcoming move to Canada.  (Kidding. Hack joke, I know. Also, it's actually hard to get citizenship there.)

Out of the Clown Car, into the Pussy Wagon

Oh, did you not catch the republican candidate for president, donald j trump, talk about how he likes to "grab em by the pussy"? Really? Well, just turn on any television or any news site and take a quick look before coming back to this post. 

 Oh, what's that, you ask?

YES, ahead of the game on this one! No more being the last one on the trendy bus! *starts playing "we are the champions" on zune*. I'M SO RELEVANT. 

Seriously tho, those clown sightings are creepy as fuuuuuck

 Yeah, enjoy your "what color is this dress" costumes, millennials. That was so 2015. I'm cutting edge here. 

[It's not because she's female and society values her opinions less than a male cat. It's because she's a jill stein supporter who is only concerned about cat-owned businesses and a nonexistent catnip shortage and I just can't with her anymore. Just can't.]

*basks in glory of greatness*

Polling Polling Polls

Two weeks ago:

polling from fivethirtyeight, according to memory. 

Today:

#loserdonald

I know the polls won't stay like this forever, but good god they're enjoyable right now. 

TP

By now, most of you have probably heard that Trump's VP is Mike Pence, and they released a logo together. 

They've tried to scrub the internet of the real logo, so I had to redraw it from memory. 

...Just kidding. They did it take it off their website, but its everywhere. 

Boyfriend and I saw it on Friday.

I'd make a "penetrating logo" joke, but everyone got there first. 

Best tweet ever.

Brace yourselves, everyone. This wild nightmare of an election is just getting started...

Trumpah troompah, doopity doo

I apologize in advance for this:

Oh yes, it's my Donald J Trump impression.

(To clarify: not good deals for his own companies. good deals for...someone, though. I guess. Kind of.)

Not me, of course. I love everyone who loves cats. 

WHY IS EVERYONE NOT ANGRIER ABOUT HIM CALLING ELIZABETH WARREN POCAHANTAS!??! THAT IS RACIST AND NOT OK. 

Psst...trump has tiny hands. tell everyone.

I believe it's ironic that a man who looks like an oompa loomp fucked voldemort has repeatedly and viciously attacked women on their appearances. Or is that coincidental? I always get those two mixed up.

#Election2016