Out of the Clown Car, into the Pussy Wagon

Oh, did you not catch the republican candidate for president, donald j trump, talk about how he likes to "grab em by the pussy"? Really? Well, just turn on any television or any news site and take a quick look before coming back to this post. 

 Oh, what's that, you ask?

YES, ahead of the game on this one! No more being the last one on the trendy bus! *starts playing "we are the champions" on zune*. I'M SO RELEVANT. 

Seriously tho, those clown sightings are creepy as fuuuuuck

 Yeah, enjoy your "what color is this dress" costumes, millennials. That was so 2015. I'm cutting edge here. 

[It's not because she's female and society values her opinions less than a male cat. It's because she's a jill stein supporter who is only concerned about cat-owned businesses and a nonexistent catnip shortage and I just can't with her anymore. Just can't.]

*basks in glory of greatness*

The Woman's Curse

You probably think this is about the monthly curse of blood and pain that women experience for oh, 35 years or so. Nope. I'm talking about this woman's curse: 

Yes. Baby and bridal showers. Thousands of dollars of gifts you're expected to shell out for a couple and/or a couple's baby, solely because you have a vagina. Hundreds of hours of watching someone open said gifts and pretending to give a shit. Dozens of stupid games you're expected to play. 

The real woman's curse. 

On Being Crazy

I have a thing about pulses. He knows my weaknesses.

What about you all? Are you actually crazy or do the people in your life just try to make you think you are?