Thursday, September 4, 2014

Throwback Thursday: Rational Fears about Boyfriend's Trip

Throwback Thursday: Since Boyfriend is once again going out west where there are whores and cougars and bears and giant canyons he can fall into, this post feels especially relevant this week. 
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So, as I mentioned last week, Boyfriend is on vacation with his kids for a whole 10 days. He’s going to the Grand Canyon and other parks in Arizona/Utah.



And since hey, I’m crazy, I’m having some concerns about this trip, much like when he went to New Orleans.  What am I worried about, you ask?

1. Cougars.
Not this kind:
Remember her?
But this kind:
Yes, a cougar does look surprisingly like a lioness. Shut up.

2. Wives. 
He’s going to Utah too. What if he converts to Mormonism there and comes back with a bunch of wives?!?

Here, let me break it down for you:
Clicky to make bigger and read.
I fear this will happen:


This is how it works, right?




Watch yourself, Boyfriend.

3. The Canyon itself
It’s a giant hole, right?!? WHAT IF HE FALLS IN?!?!

Suddenly realizing that I’ve made it painfully obvious that I have not yet been to the grand canyon.

4. Zombie Sluts

Just cuz. I mean, you never know where they'll show up.

Anyhoo, I googled “scary things about the grand canyon” and other fears now include mules on the trails, freezing, starving, drowning, sunburn, but really the multiple wives thing.

Only 6 more days til he comes home! 

7 comments:

  1. It must be difficult living in your head...entertaining for the rest of us though!

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  2. I read an interesting book many years ago called "From Mormon Wife to Lesbian Life." Seriously, it's a real book.

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  3. Zombie Sluts. I have all their albums.

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  4. Why don't you go along and play "the nanny"?

    Love,
    Janie

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  5. Stop worrying. I'm sure if you agree to take charge of feeding everyone in the household, Boyfriend would be happy to make you wife number seven.

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  6. I love everything about this post. Mostly you threatening to stab your boyfriend. I thought I was the only person who did that!

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  7. Super cartoons! Everything is better in cartoon mode.

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