Monday, September 15, 2014

Boyfriend's Coming Back!

As you know, Boyfriend's been on a trip for the past couple of weeks. I've been...hanging. He's coming back this week, though!

There was no need to waste makeup/water/laundry when Boyfriend was away, frankly.
Anyway, I'm anticipating a conversation like this:

Yay!! Excuse me, I'll be flexing my hug muscles in anticipation of Boyfriend's return.


  1. You should really practice a good lie so it seems like you're capable of a life independent of him. You know, something like, "I taught the cat how to use the toilet, but then it scratched up the toilet seat so I made it go back to the litter box." Or "I tried self-immolation to protest indiscriminate government spying on citizens but as the flames lapped at my ankles, I remembered that the government doesn't care about protestations from the proletariat and jumped into a fountain." You know, something to make your life seem exciting and interesting. And what's better than lies to make that seem true?

  2. No no, you're using your hug muscles all wrong. Don't hug with your back, hug with your legs.

  3. The trick is to distract him with questions about his trip. Or demand to see all his sightseeing photos.

  4. Oh my gosh, it's so funny how we save all the body maintenance for when it's really needed. When I don't have a man in my life during the winter, my legs are like African grasslands! Gross, but I speak the truth.

  5. You were busy with Kitty. The two of you watch cat videos together, right? You both meowed at the monitor.


  6. It’s no secret that most men only want one thing, right?

    Well it turns out that’s not only wrong, but may actually be the root of many failed relationships.

    In fact, the one thing men are universally obsessed with...

    Is actually a feeling he’s been chasing his whole life.

    It’s an elusive combination of emotion and biological drive that’s rarely satisfied in life or love.

    ===> (The secret obsession that makes men fall in love) - (What men look for in “The One”) <=====

    And when you know how to satisfy this life long obsession...

    He will make it his life long mission to cherish and please you...

    And he will pursue your love to the ends of the earth.

    Here’s a video you won’t want to miss that shows you how to become your man’s deepest obsession:

    ===> (The most powerful emotion for men) - (Men fall in love with women who do THIS): <=====