As you know, Boyfriend's been on a trip for the past couple of weeks. I've been...hanging. He's coming back this week, though!
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| There was no need to waste makeup/water/laundry when Boyfriend was away, frankly. |
Anyway, I'm anticipating a conversation like this:
You should really practice a good lie so it seems like you're capable of a life independent of him. You know, something like, "I taught the cat how to use the toilet, but then it scratched up the toilet seat so I made it go back to the litter box." Or "I tried self-immolation to protest indiscriminate government spying on citizens but as the flames lapped at my ankles, I remembered that the government doesn't care about protestations from the proletariat and jumped into a fountain." You know, something to make your life seem exciting and interesting. And what's better than lies to make that seem true?
ReplyDeleteHug muscles, eh?
ReplyDeleteNo no, you're using your hug muscles all wrong. Don't hug with your back, hug with your legs.
ReplyDeleteThe trick is to distract him with questions about his trip. Or demand to see all his sightseeing photos.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, it's so funny how we save all the body maintenance for when it's really needed. When I don't have a man in my life during the winter, my legs are like African grasslands! Gross, but I speak the truth.
ReplyDeleteYou were busy with Kitty. The two of you watch cat videos together, right? You both meowed at the monitor.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie