I was outside last week and a bunch of adorable ducklings came out:
Ducky: Wait a second, Gia.
Me: Uh oh Ducky, what’s up?
Ducky: Half of those ducklings are going to grow up to be rapists!!!
Me: Aww cmon now…
Ducky: DUCK RAPE IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM GIA.
Me: I know, I know. Ducks Against Raping Ducks!
Me: Did it occur to you that those ducklings might be a result of rape, Ducky??
Ducky: OH MY GOD I DID NOT BUT YOU’RE PROBABLY RIGHT.
Me: Those cute little rape ducklings. I wonder if their mama duck resents them.
Ducky: I need to find them and teach them about the dangers of rape! If we start them young, they’ll grow up to support DARD!
Me: Yes, we should do that?
Ducky: Did you say we?
Me: I think I should come along for this trip…
Ducky: And why is that Gia?
Me: So I can see the ducklings and hold them and love them and cuddle them AHHH THEY’RE JUST TOO CUTE AND FUZZY!!!!
Ducky: Stay away from the ducklings, Gia.