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Friday, June 28, 2013

Ducklings!

I was outside last week and a bunch of adorable ducklings came out:



Ducky: Wait a second, Gia.



Me: Uh oh Ducky, what’s up?
Ducky: Half of those ducklings are going to grow up to be rapists!!!
Me: Aww cmon now…
Ducky: DUCK RAPE IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM GIA. 
Me: I know, I know. Ducks Against Raping Ducks!
Ducky: Right!
Me: Did it occur to you that those ducklings might be a result of rape, Ducky??
Ducky: OH MY GOD I DID NOT BUT YOU’RE PROBABLY RIGHT.
Me: Those cute little rape ducklings. I wonder if their mama duck resents them.
Ducky: I need to find them and teach them about the dangers of rape! If we start them young, they’ll grow up to support DARD!
Me: Yes, we should do that?
Ducky: Did you say we?
Me: I think I should come along for this trip…
Ducky: And why is that Gia?
Me: So I can see the ducklings and hold them and love them and cuddle them AHHH THEY’RE JUST TOO CUTE AND FUZZY!!!!
Ducky: Stay away from the ducklings, Gia.
Me: Damnit. 
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12 comments:

  1. PickleopeJune 28, 2013 at 7:34 AM

    Man, now I can't look at a flock of ducklings without thinking they're the product of rape. Not that it makes them less cute, no, what makes them less cute is thinking they're going to grow up to be rapists. You've ruined ducklings for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. GiaJune 28, 2013 at 7:50 AM

      It's a harsh world out there, pickleope.

      Delete
    2. GiaJune 28, 2013 at 7:51 AM

      (A harsh duck-rape-duck world, that is)

      Delete
  2. AnonymousJune 28, 2013 at 8:17 AM

    AHHHHH SO FREAKING CUTE!!!! Baby geese always get me too. IT'S SO FLUFFY!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Vinny CJune 28, 2013 at 9:35 AM

    I don't get to see a lot of baby ducks. We do have more than our fair share of baby lizards in our yard. Them... not so cute.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Annie JayJune 28, 2013 at 9:50 AM

    Awwww little duckies! If you take them away from their mother, they'll treat you like their mother and follow you around and you can take them home and put them in your bathtub and watch them swim around and it so cute you'll want to die!!!! I mean... after you separate them from their mother... which is sad... but it LEADS to cuteness!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Vesta VayneJune 28, 2013 at 10:44 AM

    Aw, ducklings!

    A good friend of my stepmom runs a wildlife rescue. Someone brought her a bunch of ducklings a while back, and she just released them into a river a few days ago.

    ReplyDelete
  6. UnknownJune 28, 2013 at 12:36 PM

    Did you watch the Zefrank movie about ducks on youtube?
    I'm now terrified of duck penises (I'm not quite sure the how to spell the multiple of penis as I'm usually only confronted with one at a time...)

    Mei @ Diary of a Fair Weather Diver

    ReplyDelete
  7. bogormanJune 28, 2013 at 8:19 PM

    I think you can handle this Gia but better not tell Ducky. These ladies are frickin' hilarious. Probably your kind of humor.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=EXPcBI4CJc8

    ReplyDelete
  8. Janie JunebugJune 28, 2013 at 9:28 PM

    They poop. A lot.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  9. UnknownJune 29, 2013 at 1:28 PM

    I wonder if duck rape is worse than dolphin rape... I mean they do have wings and shit...

    ReplyDelete
  10. none providedJune 29, 2013 at 4:20 PM

    I can also never think of cute animals the same way after finding out that they are rapists. Every time I see that "smile" on a dolphin's face, I know that it's actually a menacing grin from all the rape and murder.

    ReplyDelete

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