Friday, June 28, 2013

Ducklings!

I was outside last week and a bunch of adorable ducklings came out:



Ducky: Wait a second, Gia.



Me: Uh oh Ducky, what’s up?
Ducky: Half of those ducklings are going to grow up to be rapists!!!
Me: Aww cmon now…
Ducky: DUCK RAPE IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM GIA. 
Me: I know, I know. Ducks Against Raping Ducks!
Ducky: Right!
Me: Did it occur to you that those ducklings might be a result of rape, Ducky??
Ducky: OH MY GOD I DID NOT BUT YOU’RE PROBABLY RIGHT.
Me: Those cute little rape ducklings. I wonder if their mama duck resents them.
Ducky: I need to find them and teach them about the dangers of rape! If we start them young, they’ll grow up to support DARD!
Me: Yes, we should do that?
Ducky: Did you say we?
Me: I think I should come along for this trip…
Ducky: And why is that Gia?
Me: So I can see the ducklings and hold them and love them and cuddle them AHHH THEY’RE JUST TOO CUTE AND FUZZY!!!!
Ducky: Stay away from the ducklings, Gia.
Me: Damnit. 

12 comments:

  1. Man, now I can't look at a flock of ducklings without thinking they're the product of rape. Not that it makes them less cute, no, what makes them less cute is thinking they're going to grow up to be rapists. You've ruined ducklings for me.

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    Replies
    1. It's a harsh world out there, pickleope.

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    2. (A harsh duck-rape-duck world, that is)

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  2. AHHHHH SO FREAKING CUTE!!!! Baby geese always get me too. IT'S SO FLUFFY!!!!

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  3. I don't get to see a lot of baby ducks. We do have more than our fair share of baby lizards in our yard. Them... not so cute.

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  4. Awwww little duckies! If you take them away from their mother, they'll treat you like their mother and follow you around and you can take them home and put them in your bathtub and watch them swim around and it so cute you'll want to die!!!! I mean... after you separate them from their mother... which is sad... but it LEADS to cuteness!

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  5. Aw, ducklings!

    A good friend of my stepmom runs a wildlife rescue. Someone brought her a bunch of ducklings a while back, and she just released them into a river a few days ago.

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  6. Did you watch the Zefrank movie about ducks on youtube?
    I'm now terrified of duck penises (I'm not quite sure the how to spell the multiple of penis as I'm usually only confronted with one at a time...)

    Mei @ Diary of a Fair Weather Diver

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  7. I think you can handle this Gia but better not tell Ducky. These ladies are frickin' hilarious. Probably your kind of humor.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=EXPcBI4CJc8

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  8. I wonder if duck rape is worse than dolphin rape... I mean they do have wings and shit...

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  9. I can also never think of cute animals the same way after finding out that they are rapists. Every time I see that "smile" on a dolphin's face, I know that it's actually a menacing grin from all the rape and murder.

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