Ducky: Hi
Me: Oh fuck me, not another pissy animal
Ducky: Huh?
Me: What are you mad about? That you forgot Valentine’s Day? That I didn’t ask you about your plans?
Ducky: Nope.
Me: …are you mad at all?
Ducky: Nope.
Me: You're not still pissy about how crappy I drew you when I was first learning the tablet?
Ducky: No, not anymore.
Me: Because it was like this, remember:
Ducky: Are you trying to start with me?
Me: No no, I just-
Ducky: Because my ass is NOT that big.
Me: My bad.
Ducky: Anyway, I’m not mad. I’m GREAT.
Me: Why are you great?
Ducky: Because I’m a DUCK! What’s greater than that?
Me: I’m not really following.
Ducky: Yeah you wouldn’t silly human.
Me: Silly human?
Ducky: Yeah, I’m a duck. My life is great! I can walk, swim, and fly. Can you do that? Huh?!
Me: Well, two out of three…
Ducky: Yeah, right.
Me: So your life is perfect?
Ducky: well, except for one thing…
Me: What’s that?
Ducky: Duck rape.
Me: Oh yeah, boy ducks are really aggressive, eh?
Ducky: Yes. It’s a problem. Which is why I’m forming D.A.R.D.
Me: DARD?
Ducky: Ducks Against Raping Ducks.
Me: Wowza.
Ducky: Can we use the blog as a platform to raise duck rape awareness?
Me: …sure, Ducky. Only because you’re so cute.
Ducky: HEY!
Me: What??
Ducky: NO MEANS NO, GIA!
This blog is a duck rape free zone.
Want it for your blog? (You know you do.)
hahahaha.
ReplyDeleteLove it! And I'm impressed with your duck-drawing abilities; stick figures are as far as I go!
ReplyDeleteI didn't know rape was a problem in the duck community. The more you know.
ReplyDeleteBad Gia! Coming onto poor little ducky after shes been through something so traumatic! You have to give her time and space! She needs to feel loved again!
ReplyDeleteI didn't mean to! I was just trying to be nice!!
DeleteMost animals are giant, disgusting, hairy rapists. That's why I don't eat them. They will rape my mouth.
ReplyDeleteBahahaha amazing.
DeleteThis is the second reference I've seen to duck rape today - fascinating! lol
ReplyDeleteI need to know what the first one was, for reasons.
DeleteI laughed pretty hard at D.A.R.D.
ReplyDeleteI was tempted to post this, but I dunno... raping ducks is so much fun!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad Ducky has something to believe in.
ReplyDeleteAs a technology geek, I want to join the digital fight. So I'm announcing my own group, Techies Against Raping Ducks. Anyone else want to be a TARD?
ReplyDeleteLMFAO!!!
DeleteFinally, a platform for those poor ducks.
ReplyDeleteobviously, that is going up on my blog
ReplyDeleteThat is not only going up on my blog tomorrow, but I want a sticker for my car. That is the best.
ReplyDeleteLMAO!!!! That's is awesomely amazing!!!!
ReplyDeletePoor little ducks. They shouldn't have to go through that!
Where's the sign ups for D.A.R.D.? I think I might know a couple good candidates..
ReplyDeleteWhere can I get a bumper sticker for D.A.R.D? I want all all the ducks to be virtuous and happy. Violated ducks aren't fun neither tasty. I am going to picket in front. national geographic Channel to create this awareness. If ducks cant quack I am going to do that for them.
ReplyDeleteI have to admit, I didn't see the duck rape coming. Not even a little bit. Your writings are full of surprises. Is it bad that I want to give this post a hug?
ReplyDeleteI had no idea duck rapists were so prevalent. How terrifying. Poor ducks! Better to get the word out there. I'll be more aware next time I'm tossing bread crumbs to them- ready to break up any non-consensual duck violations.
ReplyDeleteI threw an apple at a boy duck once when it was basically holding the girl duck underwater and biting her at the same time. She flew away. I'm pretty sure she winked at me as she took off.
ReplyDeletehehe I bet she did. YAY for standing up for ladyducks' rights!
DeleteMy ass is that big. I admit it.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
I've witnessed the mating rituals of the humble mallard first hand. Totally rapey.
ReplyDeleteBut the man ducks can only last about 4 seconds before they're done, which makes me feel like a fucking boss.
hahhahahahahahhaa...that would make any human man KING OF THE DUCKS.
Deletehaha very stellar work, i like its cartoony style and its great that you provide links :)
ReplyDeletewhy thank you!
DeleteAside from duck raping...I hear ducks make a tasty meal!
ReplyDeleteI have four ducks and trust me–duck rape is a major problem. Ducks are basically assholes. And totally sexist assholes at that. Also they have huge penises shaped like corkscrews. Can't make this shit up. Google it. Our duck rape problem was so severe it led to the murder of one of our male ducks. Long story. Anyway, Ducky has the right idea. I think I need that button for my back yard.
ReplyDeleteWhoa. Shit just got real.
Deletepoor ladyducks.
Aw he looks so sad.
ReplyDeleteBahahaha! I love your brand of crazy.
ReplyDeleteI was almost raped by a goose once. Or you know, bit on the leg. Same thing really. Except not at all.
ReplyDeleteIt's up! I can not stop laughing at this.
ReplyDeleteDuck rape is kind of horrifying if even half the things I've read about it are true.
ReplyDeleteScrew black history. February is now Duck Rape Awareness month. Will there be a funraising walk? Maybe a swim.. Ooh what about a triathalon?!
ReplyDeleteDAMN, can you imagine the quacking going on during a duck rape???
ReplyDeleteMy blog is now an official duck rape free zone too! :D I've seen too much duck rape in my short life so far.
ReplyDeleteI've been quacked.
ReplyDelete