Friday, June 21, 2013

Ralph the Lady Bug



Me: Aww it’s a cute lil lady bug!  What’s your name?
Ralph: Hey! Who you callin’ cute?
Me: Uhhhhhhh….
Ralph: I’m a manly lady bug! Name’s Ralph!
Me: Uhhhh….
Ralph: Let me guess. You always think of lady bugs as ladies?
Me: Well, yes. Only because they’re…
Ralph: called lady bugs?
Me: No. Adorably polka dotted. Do you ever see men in polka dots? Hmm?
Ralph: All the time!



Ralph: Shut up Boyfriend!
Me: Okay Ralph. Tell me about your hobbies.
Ralph: I like football, beer, and crocheting.
Me: Sorry, what was that last one?
Ralph: Shut your whore mouth, Gia.
Me: Boy, you’re cute when you’re angry, lil guy.
Ralph: Grumble grumble.


 I don't even know, guys. I don't even know. 

14 comments:

  1. That's one surly lady bug. I guess guy lady bugs have some sort of complex. Why do I feel like I'm high after reading this?

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    1. Hey, I'm okay with transexual lady bugs. Or perhaps we should come up with a more politically correct term for them, such as People Bugs.

      Nope, that wouldn't be creepy at all.

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  3. That lady bug needs to get laid,,,then maybe he will be a little more happy :)

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  4. I think we should create a menswear line-- strictly polka dots.

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  5. I love the cameo by Boyfriend!

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  6. Ralph reminds me of Francis from A Bug's Life. Francis was a male ladybug too and he was also a bit grumpy when people mistook him for a girl. Plus? He sounded just like Denis Leary! Ralph's in good company!

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  7. Ralph will be the manliest man bug. I imagine him crocheting a manly scarf.

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  8. I know someone named Ralph. I like him, and he's quite a manly man.

    Love,
    Janie

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  9. Henceforth I shall say unto my hubz, on those moments when he pisses me right off, "Shut your whore mouth!" Because that seems like it tastes good to say.

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  10. I'd like to meet Mrs. Ralph next.

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  11. I love him! I love him so much!

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  12. I just had to scrub my eyes with soap from picturing my husband in a polka dot shirt. **shudder**

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  13. wow. he's a grumpy lady..er manly bug.
    I saw a nasty grub in my garden today - I bet their perfect for each other!!

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