Me: Aww it’s a cute lil lady bug! What’s your name?
Ralph: Hey! Who you callin’ cute?
Me: Uhhhhhhh….
Ralph: I’m a manly lady bug! Name’s Ralph!
Me: Uhhhh….
Ralph: Let me guess. You always think of lady bugs as
ladies?
Me: Well, yes. Only because they’re…
Ralph: called lady bugs?
Me: No. Adorably polka dotted. Do you ever see men in polka
dots? Hmm?
Ralph: All the time!
Ralph: Shut up Boyfriend!
Me: Okay Ralph. Tell me about your hobbies.
Ralph: I like football, beer, and crocheting.
Me: Sorry, what was that last one?
Ralph: Shut your whore mouth, Gia.
Me: Boy, you’re cute when you’re angry, lil guy.
Ralph: Grumble grumble.
That's one surly lady bug. I guess guy lady bugs have some sort of complex. Why do I feel like I'm high after reading this?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHey, I'm okay with transexual lady bugs. Or perhaps we should come up with a more politically correct term for them, such as People Bugs.
DeleteNope, that wouldn't be creepy at all.
That lady bug needs to get laid,,,then maybe he will be a little more happy :)
ReplyDeleteI think we should create a menswear line-- strictly polka dots.
ReplyDeleteI love the cameo by Boyfriend!
ReplyDeleteRalph reminds me of Francis from A Bug's Life. Francis was a male ladybug too and he was also a bit grumpy when people mistook him for a girl. Plus? He sounded just like Denis Leary! Ralph's in good company!
ReplyDeleteRalph will be the manliest man bug. I imagine him crocheting a manly scarf.
ReplyDeleteI know someone named Ralph. I like him, and he's quite a manly man.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Henceforth I shall say unto my hubz, on those moments when he pisses me right off, "Shut your whore mouth!" Because that seems like it tastes good to say.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to meet Mrs. Ralph next.
ReplyDeleteI love him! I love him so much!
ReplyDeleteI just had to scrub my eyes with soap from picturing my husband in a polka dot shirt. **shudder**
ReplyDeletewow. he's a grumpy lady..er manly bug.
ReplyDeleteI saw a nasty grub in my garden today - I bet their perfect for each other!!