Let’s Talk About Gay Mormons and also Black People

[This is a very liberal, angry rant. Consider yourself warned.]

So, a few weeks ago I read this piece about gay mormons in the Huffington post. I quote:

"Wendy and Tom Montgomery went door-to-door in their California neighborhood in 2008 campaigning for the passage of an anti-gay marriage proposition. They were among thousands of faithful Mormons following the direction of a church that spent millions on the cause.

Then they learned last year that their 15-year-old son is gay — a revelation that rocked their belief system.

Now, Wendy Montgomery is leading a growing movement among Mormons to push The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to teach that homosexuality isn't a sin.”

Ok, first let’s give them credit where credit is due:

It’s sad that “not rejecting your gay son” is a thing that even needs to be recognized, but still. Congrats on not being the worst kind of person.  Kudos.

But, you know what? That’s the only kind thing I have to say about them.  Because as soon as I read the article, my first thought was this:

Based on your track record for prop 8, you probably wouldn't have been down with it.

And that’s the thing that kills me. It’s not about these people specifically. It’s about every single person who preached against homosexuality and gay rights UNTIL their child or sister or father or friend came out as gay.  

  

You know, acceptance of homosexuality is one of the fastest growing “movements” (probably not the right word?) in the US. As a supporter of gay rights, I think that’s great.

BUT it makes me really sad that I believe it is ONLY happening so quickly because homosexuality is something that cuts across all religions/socioeconomic statuses/ages/genders/races/and ethnicities. 

You might be thinking, "C'mon Gia, cut them a break. At least people are coming around, no matter the cause." But this thinking is dangerous - it means that if someone doesn't have first hand experience with a social issue, they aren't willing to empathize and put themselves in someone else’s fucking shoes. Social problems get ignored because maybe they won’t ever have a drug addicted son, or a poor son, or a black son.

I wrote about Trayvon here.

What about all of those white people who won't recognize the racial aspects of the case because they don’t have a black son? They’re unwilling to even imagine themselves as the parents of young black men because that’s something they will never experience.

These people don’t have to fear their child being seeing as dangerous JUST for being black.  So they don’t see it as a societal harm when a black man is killed by police after banging on a door after being in a car accident. Or when a black man was killed by police after his girlfriend called them because he was having a diabetic reaction.

(Note: I want to make sure my wording is extra clear here - I’m not saying all white people are at fault. You’re not guilty for being white. Or straight. Or privileged. You’re guilty when you refuse to acknowledge that the persecution of people for being different  is a problem.)

  

I know I’m probably being unnecessarily harsh and a bit unfair to Wendy and Tom Montgomery, but the fact that they expect to be praised for becoming open minded despite their total hypocrisy and complete lack of empathy makes me sick. I’m not saying we all need to be bleeding heart social justice crusaders – I’m saying that as human beings, we should be able to understand and recognize problems that fellow humans face, even when they don’t affect us personally. 

Honestly, I think this attitude is kind of bullshit:

Source here.

This is much better:

Source here. 

[Note: I am 87% sure Boyfriend is not gay.]

And obviously, there's nothing wrong with taking up a cause that you have a personal connection to. It's the spewing-hatred-until-a-societal-problem-affects-me attitude that kills me.

In conclusion: