Let’s Talk About Gay Mormons and also Black People

[This is a very liberal, angry rant. Consider yourself warned.]

So, a few weeks ago I read this piece about gay mormons in the Huffington post. I quote:

"Wendy and Tom Montgomery went door-to-door in their California neighborhood in 2008 campaigning for the passage of an anti-gay marriage proposition. They were among thousands of faithful Mormons following the direction of a church that spent millions on the cause.

Then they learned last year that their 15-year-old son is gay — a revelation that rocked their belief system.

Now, Wendy Montgomery is leading a growing movement among Mormons to push The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to teach that homosexuality isn't a sin.”

Ok, first let’s give them credit where credit is due:

It’s sad that “not rejecting your gay son” is a thing that even needs to be recognized, but still. Congrats on not being the worst kind of person.  Kudos.

But, you know what? That’s the only kind thing I have to say about them.  Because as soon as I read the article, my first thought was this:

Based on your track record for prop 8, you probably wouldn't have been down with it.

And that’s the thing that kills me. It’s not about these people specifically. It’s about every single person who preached against homosexuality and gay rights UNTIL their child or sister or father or friend came out as gay.  

  

You know, acceptance of homosexuality is one of the fastest growing “movements” (probably not the right word?) in the US. As a supporter of gay rights, I think that’s great.

BUT it makes me really sad that I believe it is ONLY happening so quickly because homosexuality is something that cuts across all religions/socioeconomic statuses/ages/genders/races/and ethnicities. 

You might be thinking, "C'mon Gia, cut them a break. At least people are coming around, no matter the cause." But this thinking is dangerous - it means that if someone doesn't have first hand experience with a social issue, they aren't willing to empathize and put themselves in someone else’s fucking shoes. Social problems get ignored because maybe they won’t ever have a drug addicted son, or a poor son, or a black son.

I wrote about Trayvon here.

What about all of those white people who won't recognize the racial aspects of the case because they don’t have a black son? They’re unwilling to even imagine themselves as the parents of young black men because that’s something they will never experience.

These people don’t have to fear their child being seeing as dangerous JUST for being black.  So they don’t see it as a societal harm when a black man is killed by police after banging on a door after being in a car accident. Or when a black man was killed by police after his girlfriend called them because he was having a diabetic reaction.

(Note: I want to make sure my wording is extra clear here - I’m not saying all white people are at fault. You’re not guilty for being white. Or straight. Or privileged. You’re guilty when you refuse to acknowledge that the persecution of people for being different  is a problem.)

  

I know I’m probably being unnecessarily harsh and a bit unfair to Wendy and Tom Montgomery, but the fact that they expect to be praised for becoming open minded despite their total hypocrisy and complete lack of empathy makes me sick. I’m not saying we all need to be bleeding heart social justice crusaders – I’m saying that as human beings, we should be able to understand and recognize problems that fellow humans face, even when they don’t affect us personally. 

Honestly, I think this attitude is kind of bullshit:

Source here.

This is much better:

Source here. 

[Note: I am 87% sure Boyfriend is not gay.]

And obviously, there's nothing wrong with taking up a cause that you have a personal connection to. It's the spewing-hatred-until-a-societal-problem-affects-me attitude that kills me.

In conclusion:

Well, Isn't This Fucked Up and Bullshit

WELP. As you probably already know, it was a fucked up weekend for justice. I'm reposting this  today (originally here), because the whole case still gives me a sad, and the lack of justice makes my brain hurty. Not even manslaughter?!?! SERIOUSLY NOT EVEN MANSLAUGHTER?!?!? 

Thanks, Florida. You guys are the worst. (Except any of my readers from Florida who I'm sure are wonderful non racist people and not at all black-kid-killer-sympathizers.)
___________________________________________________________________

Hi guys. As you know, I rarely post about news or serious things. But even though this news story is a bit old, I've been following it for weeks and I want to talk about it. It’s important.

So, let’s have a discussion with myself.

Well, in a nutshell, a 17 year old African American boy named Trayvon Martin was walking to a family member’s home when he was shot and killed by George Zimmerman, self-appointed “neighborhood watch leader.”

Zimmerman claims it was “self defense.”

No, Trayvon was carrying some skittles and a drink from a convenience store.

No. In fact, Zimmerman saw Trayvon while he was still in his car.  He called 911 and the dispatcher told him to stay in his car. He got out and approached Trayvon instead.

Not really, no. Trayvon called his girlfriend [Update: actually, female friend] and said a guy was following him.  Zimmerman had about 100 pounds on him, so Trayvon was probably intimidated. His girlfriend said that she told Trayvon to run, but he said he was going to walk fast. No one knows exactly what happened after that. 

But even if Trayvon got scared and attacked Zimmerman (unarmed), Zimmerman was the one who got out of the car and approached him. Thus, Zimmerman was the aggressor in this situation - Florida's "Stand Your Ground" laws protect the victim, not the aggressor. Zimmerman cannot follow someone home, get out of his car, approach him, shoot and kill him (whether or not it was during an altercation), and claim it was self defense. [Update: Apparently he can. So, it's totally cool to stalk kids at night and then murder them when they try to defend themselves.]

Yes. Just minding his own business.

Yes.

Yes.

I know.

I am too. Do you want to know what’s worse?

…

The police fucked up the investigation. Zimmerman hasn’t been charged with Trayvon’s killing yet.

Yeah. They didn’t administer any kind of drug/alcohol test to Zimmerman. [Update: the court DID allow the defense to tell the jury that Trayvon had traces of marijuana in his system. What is the point of that? Marijuana does not make people act aggressive, and it only proved he had smoked in the past 30 days or so. 

So why do we need to know that? Is it less bad to kill someone who has smoked weed? Do people who smoke deserve to die more than people who don't? Are people saying, "Oh man, this really would have been a tragedy, thank God he only killed some weed-smoking black kid, and not someone who actually mattered. Boy, I can't think of any black man who smoked weed as a youth and actually made something of himself, except for the current president of the united states. His life doesn't matter as much as it would have if he didn't smoke."  I have yet to hear one satisfactory explanation for this.] 

They didn’t interview Trayvon’s girlfriend right away. They didn’t catch a racial slur on the 911 tape. One report claims they “corrected” a  witness who heard someone yell “Help, help.”

Did I mention that Trayvon was black? I think they assumed he was guilty. Or it would go away quietly.

That’s how I feel. Zimmerman has a prior record (Trayvon doesn’t), and was known for calling the police about (black) kids in the area.

I agree.

It’s awful.

Well, real people can sign this petition. I mean, it’s clear that the case is being investigated now, but it’s still important for people to go “Hey, this isn’t okay.”

I know.

Me too. We can be funny again tomorrow.

Things that are Not Okay: Trayvon Martin

Hi guys. As you know, I rarely post about news or serious things. But even though this news story is a bit old, I've been following it for weeks and I want to talk about it. It’s important.

So, let’s have a discussion with myself.

Well, in a nutshell, a 17 year old African American boy named Trayvon Martin was walking to a family member’s home when he was shot and killed by George Zimmerman, self-appointed “neighborhood watch leader.”

Zimmerman claims it was “self defense.”

No, Trayvon was carrying some skittles and a drink from a convenience store.

No. In fact, Zimmerman saw Trayvon while he was still in his car.  He called 911 and the dispatcher told him to stay in his car. He got out and approached Trayvon instead.

Not really, no. Trayvon called his girlfriend and said a guy was following him.  Zimmerman had about 100 pounds on him, so Trayvon was probably intimidated. His girlfriend said that she told Trayvon to run, but he said he was going to walk fast. No one knows exactly what happened after that. 

But even if Trayvon got scared and attacked Zimmerman (unarmed), Zimmerman was the one who got out of the car and approached him. Thus, Zimmerman was the aggressor in this situation - Florida's "Stand Your Ground" laws protect the victim, not the aggressor. Zimmerman cannot follow someone home, get out of his car, approach him, shoot and kill him (whether or not it was during an altercation), and claim it was self defense.

Yes. Just minding his own business.

Yes.

Yes.

I know.

I am too. Do you want to know what’s worse?

…

The police fucked up the investigation. Zimmerman hasn’t been charged with Trayvon’s killing yet.

Yeah. They didn’t administer any kind of drug/alcohol test to Zimmerman. They didn’t interview Trayvon’s girlfriend right away. They didn’t catch a racial slur on the 911 tape. One report claims they “corrected” a  witness who heard someone yell “Help, help.”

Did I mention that Trayvon was black? I think they assumed he was guilty. Or it would go away quietly.

That’s how I feel. Zimmerman has a prior record (Trayvon doesn’t), and was known for calling the police about (black) kids in the area.

I agree.

It’s awful.

Well, real people can sign this petition. I mean, it’s clear that the case is being investigated now, but it’s still important for people to go “Hey, this isn’t okay.”

I know.

Me too. We can be funny again tomorrow.