Wednesday, July 10, 2013

How to Make a Blueberry Pie in 29 Easy Steps!

I came into an abundance of blueberries recently, and decided to make a pie.

Here’s how I did it, in 29 easy steps.

1. Look for a recipe with positive reviews.

2. Look at the comments and all the adjustments.

3. Go crazy.

4. Do some fancy math and create your own recipe.

Math. I did it.
5. Wash blueberries.

6. Eat some.

7. Measure them.

8. Know your limits. Add extra for snacking.

9. Keep snacking on those blueberries.

10. Put all the dry ingredients together and mix with blueberries

11. Taste some.

12. Realize how delicious blueberries + sugar is and go to town on the bowl.

13. Feel shame.

14 Put blueberries in pie shell

15. Cover and vent

16. Put in oven and do some fancy math to figure out how long and what temperature to cook for

17. Check pie after 15 minutes. See that crust fell down in one spot. Panic.

18. Be concerned that you ate too much blueberries.

19. Wish you had eaten more blueberries when you had the chance.

20. Consider napping because 50 minutes is  a long time for something to bake.

21. Take pie out of oven when timer goes off.

22. Panic til Boyfriend arrives

23.  Allow Boyfriend to praise pie

(It was the first time he saw me since this)

24. Cut pie. See it’s watery.

 I know its blurry I was in a rush shut up

25. Freak out.

26. Get assured pie is delicious

27. Eat pie.

28. Eat more pie.


And that’s how you make a blueberry pie.  


  1. It's Veruca Salt, as we live and breathe...

  2. Never read the comments on a recipe. Those are just arrogant bakers who think they can do better than the recipe. If you were so unsure of it, you could have offered him the pie to use American Pie style.

  3. I get upset when I make something and it doesn't turn out pretty too. It could taste like magical goodness, but if it doesn't look nice then I assume I screwed up.

  4. Why did you read the comments? I just pretend the comments on recipes don't exist. Life is so much simpler that way.

  5. It looks good, Veruca. You're very bold and adventurous, tackling blueberries.


  6. Violet! You're turning Violet!

    Pie is a always good!! Always. Remember that!



  7. Wow, yummy deliciousness! I've never made a blueberry pie, but that sucker looks amazing. Maybe I can pretend to be your boyfriend (I'll talk in a deep voice!), and you can make me one? Only, can we eat it warm and also add a scoop of vanilla ice cream to it? Perfection!!

  8. Why on Earth were you freaking or about that pie? It looks delicious. Next time, just post a pic on Twatter, and we'll let you know how hard and dirty we'd like to get eating you're pie. Oh, yeah. I went there.

  9. Gia, I must insist that you release a cookery book or get your own channel - this is much easier to follow than Delia... who makes me want to gouge my eyes out with an egg beater x

  10. I would have kept eating too! Love your purple complexion ;)

  11. I have a really awesomesauce apple pie recipe. When you're ready. I'm sitting at the table with a bag of cookies sitting next to me and you just showed me 17 shots of blueberry pie and I'm supposed to control myself? Bitch.

  12. That looks pretty damn awesome. And as a guy who loves to cook, #2 through #4 really hit the nail on the head.

    User 1: "I added more sugar and less yeast, and it came out better!" This comment has been thumbed up 104 times.

    User 2: "I added more yeast and less sugar, and it came out better!" This comment has been thumbed up 103 times.

    So what the hell am I supposed to believe???

  13. This is why I just buy them from the farmers market and pretend I made it. Also I must have 1 bottle of wine if I'm baking anything.

  14. Recipes have comments? Huh.

    I should start cooking again.

  15. Should have used more cornstarch. It does look delicious though.