Bat: Hi Gia!
Me: AHHH! A bat!
Bat: Don’t be a bitch now, dear.
Me: STAY OUT OF MY HAIR!
Bat: I want nothing to do with your hair! I want the bugs that are hanging around you.
Bat: Get off your highhorse, Gia. I see you with your night cheese [yes, a Tina Fey reference].
Me: Okay, okay. What’s your name, bat?
Bat: Betty. I’m the Betty the Bat.
Me: Heh, Betty the Batty.
Betty: NEVER THAT.
Me: Why not, Batty Betty?
Betty: Because I don’t like it, Gia-the-Giant.
Me: OKAY OKAY! Grumble
Betty: I didn’t come to this blog to get harassed, you know.
Me: Okay. Why DID you come here?
Betty: To talk about how I’m misunderstood! People hate me for the wrong reasons! I’m looking at you, Boyfriend.
Me: He only has a thing about bats because he’s so tall. When you swoop, you’re a lot closer to him than me.
Betty: That’s the thing! I don’t want to knock into you disgusting humans-
Betty: What? You all stink and you can’t fly. You’re pretty much useless. The only thing I like about you is that you attract bugs.
Me: You know, for someone who is worried about your reputation, you’re being pretty harsh about my readers.
Betty: Oh no, I’m sure your readers are lovely, non stinky, useful flying people.
Me: Well now you’re being sarcastic.
Betty: What, me? Never!
Me: *muttering* Betty the Bitch is more like it.
Betty: And we looooove accidentally ending up in your house, listening to you screaming while trying to murder us with a broom. That’s a great time for us.
Me: Well stay out of our house!
Betty: WE HAVE BAD VISION!
Me: Actually, I do too. Maybe we’re not so different…
Betty: No you’re a disgusting human. We’re completely different.
Me: ANNNNND time to wrap up this interview!
Betty: I gotta go eat some bugs off of humans, you ungrateful bug-attracting blob.
Me: Now you’re just trying to hurt my feelings.
Welp. Bats are bitches. Who knew.