Friday, July 12, 2013

Bats are Misunderstood


Bat: Hi Gia!
Me: AHHH! A bat!
Bat: Don’t be a bitch now, dear.
Me: STAY OUT OF MY HAIR!
Bat: I want nothing to do with your hair! I want the bugs that are hanging around you.
Me: Ew.
Bat: Get off your highhorse, Gia. I see you with your night cheese [yes, a Tina Fey reference].
Me: Okay, okay. What’s your name, bat?
Bat: Betty. I’m the Betty the Bat.
Me: Heh, Betty the Batty.
Betty: NEVER THAT.
Me: Why not, Batty Betty?
Betty: Because I don’t like it, Gia-the-Giant.
Me: OKAY OKAY! Grumble
Betty: I didn’t come to this blog to get harassed, you know.
Me: Okay. Why DID you come here?
Betty: To talk about how I’m misunderstood! People hate me for the wrong reasons! I’m looking at you, Boyfriend.
Me: He only has a thing about bats because he’s so tall. When you swoop, you’re a lot closer to him than me.
Betty: That’s the thing! I don’t want to knock into you disgusting humans-
Me: Hey!
Betty: What? You all stink and you can’t fly. You’re pretty much useless. The only thing I like about you is that you attract bugs.
Me: You know, for someone who is worried about your reputation, you’re being pretty harsh about my readers.
Betty: Oh no, I’m sure your readers are lovely, non stinky, useful flying people.
Me: Well now you’re being sarcastic.
Betty: What, me? Never!
Me: *muttering* Betty the Bitch is more like it.
Betty: And we looooove accidentally ending up in your house, listening to you screaming while trying to murder us with a broom. That’s a great time for us.
Me: Well stay out of our house!
Betty: WE HAVE BAD VISION!
Me: Actually, I do too.  Maybe we’re not so different…
Betty: No you’re a disgusting human. We’re completely different.
Me: ANNNNND time to wrap up this interview!
Betty: I gotta go eat some bugs off of humans, you ungrateful bug-attracting blob.
Me: Now you’re just trying to hurt my feelings.
Betty: Ta-ta!


Welp. Bats are bitches. Who knew.

12 comments:

  1. I have a new found respect for bats since finding out that one lives in my roof, yet has never tried to kill me. It's almost like we're best friends (if my best friends lived quietly above my bedroom and never made a move to contact me, that is) x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's the best kind of friends! *hides away to be antisocial*

      Delete
  2. "Workin on my Night Cheese..." That was the exact moment I fell in love with 30 Rock.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Bats are pretty cool. There's a cool bat bridge in both Austin and Houston where you watch them just poor out and fly around. Also, Batman. Batman's cool, right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I went to Austin once and didn't see a single bat. I even drove under that bridge.

      Delete
  4. I love our bats! The eat the terrifying spiders that live on my porch. And mosquitoes.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I had a friend who found a bat in her house. She sucked it up in a vacuum cleaner and then threw the vacuum in the backyard. Bats freak me out. They would love me because bugs adore me.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  6. I've never seen a bat before. Well, asides from pictures and videos.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I saw bats in my yard just the other night. Funny, they didn't talk to me...

    ReplyDelete
  8. I have this overwhelming urge to google night cheese. But I'm afraid.

    ReplyDelete
  9. i love bats...thanks for the post and cute drawing, Gia!

    ReplyDelete