Pages

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Mosquito Bites: Sunrash’s Ugly Cousin


Alternative Title: Hey guys, know what’s sexier than sunrash? Mosquito bites. God, I’m attractive. (Also damn you, rape trail).

As we’ve discussed, I walk (and now fish) on the duck rape trail. It’s on the water, so there are lots of mosquitos.  And it’s summer, so I’m also suffering from sunrash.


For some reason, they really like me.
  
Like, seriously like me.
  
It’s bad. Boyfriend and I will take a walk and come back looking like this:
  
So I bought some heavy duty bug spray and used that before our walk.
  
And yet we come back like this:
  
These are some tough mosquitos.
  
The worst part is the morning after a walk, when I’m lying in bed relaxing. And all of a sudden I feel it. IT, you guys. The itch.  I can’t help it. I’m a scratcher. Remember Boyfriend and the eye poking? I have nails and I NEED to use them. I spend all day contorted into weird positions so I can get some good scratching it. Plus, the scratching makes the bites bigger and redder, until it looks like I have welts all over my legs. And like I said, it’s sunrash season. I end up looking like this:

Sadness.




Sigh, I suffer. Do you guys get all bit up? And if not, WHAT IS YOUR SECRET?!?!                                        

36 comments:

  1. How do people NOT scratch the itch? I wish I had some advice, but I too am a target, like a mosquito dance club, there are mosquito bouncers granting exclusive access to pay a high premium to my blood, only it's not so exclusive and there's no last call.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Geese eat mosquitoes. A dab of vinegar sometimes kills the itch. Ice pack cools things off, helping the rash and repressing the itch. I've heard putting clear nail polish on it helps. As Mrs Google (has to be a married woman, she knows everything) and try the various remedies. Build a little chart, and try them all, noting the results in a spreadsheet.

    Geese are the original duck rapers.

    ReplyDelete
  3. As long as they don't get the top of my foot or an ankle...or a knee, any hard spot...the forehead...I'm OK.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh yes. Mosquitoes love me, too. Especially my right arm. I don't know but my right arm is their favorite. And? I'm SO allergic to histamine so sometimes, when I get a lot of mosquito bites, instead of getting just tiny red mosquito bite marks, there's a certain part that swells up.

    It's probably because our blood is tasty.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am not an expert on love bite bugs, but I have noticed that they tend to bite me less towards the end of a camping trip, than at the beginning.
    my natural conclusion: stand in some campfire smoke, add a bit of burnt marshmallow, spill some beer on the 3rd day wearing tank top.... and don't bathe. you're welcome.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I've heard that mosquitos go for warmth. Perhaps you're warmer than the boyfriend, that's why. I get bitten as well, but if it gets too much, I just use some axe oil (smells something between eucalyptus and menthol and reminds me of a sick person)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh the welts! Ugh! My family teases me sometimes for being hyper vigilant about skeeters. Mmm-hmm, and maybe they should shut up since I obviously take the bites for all of them!

    ReplyDelete
  8. HOLY FUCK ME TOO!!! Those little bastards LOVE me! My legs look like I have fucking leprosy every single bloody summer! Just one year I would like to not be covered in scratches and bites!

    ReplyDelete
  9. oh man, i feel your pain. i am madly allergic to mosquitoes - everyone is to a point, but my bites actually end up looking like black-fly bites or they spread like a rash. i am also allergic to deet - so any bug sprays that actually work.. make me feel and look like dying. and dude... they love me. i will be in a crowd of people and i'll be the only one getting bitten.

    the only saving grace i have found that actually works - is polysporin itch relief lotion. it's the only one that actually calms the bites down. the only issue is it seems to be rather elusive to find.... so if you see it in a store - stock the hell up yo. it's like liquid gold.. for your skin.. ;)

    http://www.polysporin.ca/p-itch

    ReplyDelete
  10. Awww poor you! I have no idea of what you can do other than avoid going out in the evenings? What a bummer! (but awesome mosquito illustrations!)

    ReplyDelete
  11. I get bit all the time and I scratch. My husband always gets annoyed at me for scratching cuz I do make it worse and complain about it.
    I have no idea how not to get bit, it sucks!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm semi-allergic to skeeter bites so they get like incredibly gross sized in addition to being itchy and annoying. BUT THEY ALL FIND ME. If I'm in the room? No need to worry about bug repellant.

    I'm okay about scratching until I fall asleep because then I can't control it, you know? When I was little and would complain about mosquito bites, my father would tell me to take my nail and press an X into the middle of the bite. I still do that. I think it helps me. Mentally.

    ReplyDelete
  13. When I played soccer we used Avon Skin So Soft. You put it in your tub and soak in it. It's supposed to make your skin soft but it works to keep mosquitoes away too.

    I eat tons of garlic and bananas. Mosquitoes like to eat people who eat both. So I too get a lot of mosquito bites.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Straight DEET to ward them off and then Campho-phonique if they manage to bite you. You'll need what's called a "skin transplant" after your third or fourth cycle, but don't let that bother you. It's normal.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I've heard of the Skin-So-Soft trick, but I heard that you rub it on straight from the bottle, like one of the lotion repellants. I haven't tried it though. I too am the one who gets bit in our house. But on the flip side Hubs ends up with flea bites if we miss a treatment on our four-legged ones. Fair's fair I think! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Misquitos LOOOOOVE me! I don't understand it! I have a misquito bite on my toe. MY TOE! *sigh*

    ReplyDelete
  17. I too have something the mosquitoes love. And the end result of my skin looks like a really tall child with chicken pox all over my body, who couldn't restrain from scratching. Bleeding read bumps all over. When I wear shorts, it just looks like i am wearing pink full trousers.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Those f'ers love me too,,,I do the X thing too,,,and then tear my legs up while sleeping,,,I look like I have some major disease all summer.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I don't get too badly bit, but I do get a sun rash. Makes me feel so sexy! It's the reason why I could never be a nudist.

    ReplyDelete
  20. They always go after me over my husband too. He actually stands close to me just to purposely lead them away from him to me. It sucks...literally!! I'm sure by the end of summer I have donated several pints to the mosquito community.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Children's Benadryl Anti-Itch Gel. Don't get the adult stuff. It has to be the children's. It's the only thing that works. I know because mosquitoes worship me.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  22. My daughter and I are the same. She looks like she had a disease after playing outside one day. It was so bad, strangers felt the need to comment on it after we ran errands.

    But there's seriously nothing better at scratching that itch. It feels sooooooo good. Mine itch for a good week because I can't stop scratching them!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Eat bananas!! oh no wait, or does that attract them? hmmmmm *thinking*......

    ReplyDelete
  24. Have you tried wearing a bee-keeper's outfit?

    ReplyDelete
  25. It's your perfume or lotion, I am going to guess. Mosquitos don't like to bite me, but they do like to fly straight into my mouth. I could just close my mouth, but then I wouldn't be able to breathe. My nose doesn't like to help me with that.

    ReplyDelete
  26. We just had "The Mosquito Authority" stop by and we have high hopes, because Mike is like a mosquito magnet. Of course now we see gnats and there doesn't seem to be a "Gnat Authority."

    ReplyDelete
  27. The 'X' thing works for me, too. Although I always dig in too hard and hurt myself.

    Maybe next time you go for a walk with Boyfriend, you should cling to his back, like a spider monkey? This way, the mosquitoes will get confused and share their biting amongst the two of you, or even better, leave you alone (as they tend to not bite him, right).

    ReplyDelete
  28. Yepp, I do get bit too but mosquito repellent does work. I guess the mosquitoes do really like you! :D

    firebeneathmyheart.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  29. We could be twins. Seriously. Only mine's from having fair skin. I get eaten alive and I currently have TWO random rashes; one covering my extremities and the other covering my entire back. They are completely different rashes and I drink lots of water so I have to pee and when I pee I scratch to my delight since otherwise my husband and son yell at me because they DON'T UNDERSTAND. Dermatologist appointment #2 tomorrow. I can't WAIT to share my new rash with her.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I used to get bit bad. A couple scrathes and they'd swell into haf dollar sized welts. Now, I rarely get bit. Probably all this lovely NYC/NJ pollution. Plus, I'm not really by any standing bodies of water/streams. Which is their turf. Not give you additional anxiety, but uhh, you know you can get west nile from mosquito bites right?

    ReplyDelete
  31. After my weekend camping in northeastern MN I look like I have chicken pox from all the mosquito bites. I practically showered in the strongest DEET known to man (also illegal to sell) and I still got eaten alive. I love camping, but I'm spoiled now that I live in a city that sprays for them!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Oh man! I am a crazy mosquito magnet, too. Even if there is just one mosquito in a 10 mile radius, it will find me. And I have all kinds of fun skin issues so I welt up like I have a bad case of elephantitis. Of the legs and arms. Just to clarify.

    DEET is the only thing I've found that really works. I'm sure I'm taking years off my life, but at least they are mosquito-bite free years.

    ReplyDelete
  33. They like me too. The only solution: move to a place without mosquitoes. We don't seem to have any on the west coast.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Hey, nice story narrations with help of the message. we can stop scratching one mosquito bites. Even if scratching make bite bigger and redder

    ReplyDelete
  35. Good to read this pictures. Checkout the mosquito net price details at v first marketing service.

    ReplyDelete