[First, a bloggy note: I've figured out how to register/set up forwarding for a domain so now you can get to me by going to just www.mayorgia.com. YAAAY!]
I was walking along the duck rape trail the other
night (it’s along a stream). This texting happened between Boyfriend and I:
Me: The stream says its stocked with trout.
Boyfriend: WHAT!!!
Me: Oh is that good?
Boyfriend: Very. Why isn’t anyone fishing on there now?
Me: Is it trout season now?
Boyfriend: Yes
Me: Hey what do you do if a Canadian goose attacks you? Asking for a friend.
Boyfriend: Need a special license for trout, but can get it
online.
Where did you hear this?
Me: From here:
Boyfriend: Cosi fan tutti!
Me: Huh?
Boyfriend: Amazing
Me: Did I do good??!?
Boyfriend: Very!!
You guys. I’m back on my game.
However, I soon realized this:
So, we went fishing on Saturday. Unfortunately, it didn’t
result in a fish. Although when I was holding the rod (that’swhatshesaid)
something pulled on it for a second. And Boyfriend got a bite but it got snagged on something
under the water. So, we didn’t catch a fish. But if we HAD, I imagine it would
have looked like this:
WOOHOO! (But I'm serious guys. Anyone have any advice for when a bunch of canadian geese inevitably attack you for walking by them daily?)
Birds hate us and want us dead. The only way to fend off Canadian Geese is to throw a Molson Golden behind you to distract them.
ReplyDeleteFishing is good, right? You get to spend hours together.
Oooh nice! Not sure if you like fish, but trout are expensive. If boyfriend is so kindly catching them, you can cook them and eat something yummy!
ReplyDeleteAs to the nasty little fuckers (i.e. the geese) a big stick works well. A real big stick. We used to live in an apartment complex that was wrapped around a filthy little pond that they geese loved. We used to walk around it all the time, but good lord with the evil geese! They weren't even afraid of dogs!
Sounds great! I have never gone fishing in my life and I'd love to try it some day.
ReplyDeleteFishing is mostly boring but it's a good opportunity to over-drink beer and daydream about the tiny fish you'll fry up after spending way too much time de-boning it.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the Canadian Geese are just being territorial. Pee wherever they attack you to label it as "yours". Hell, you might even just pee on them. Show them you OWN them. Make them yours. Literally.
Ha! You were such a good girlfriend! So very clever of you!
ReplyDeleteI hope you get some non-fishing time in as well :)
Hmmm... I think the geese only chase/attack people whom they know are afraid of them. Met a few mad geese (Malaysian, not Canadian, though) when I was younger and happened to love chasing me, my mom and my sis who were terrified of them... Maybe acting 'macho' might help?
ReplyDeleteI once went fishing in my local canal. I managed to catch a long, rubber jellyfish that was called "latex". It was about this big
ReplyDelete<--------------------------------->
Also, the only way to stop a goose attack is to sing the song of their people. Goose step towards them and make vulgar, honking noises. It's the only thing they understand.
Had a goose attack my youngest and I while walking our dog once. Apparently they don't like it when you get close to their nests... I don't know what the "Goose Attack Survival Manual" says to do, but turning around and running back at them doesn't help. Not even close. My advise? Run the opposite direction.
ReplyDeleteYou have scary attack geese too???? There are some insane ones at a park near my house. I hate them and want to firebomb them all dead. But instead I just cower and avoid them like a real American.
ReplyDeleteThe picture of boyfriend's fishing outfit KILLED me. I am already gearing up for the fact that new boyfriend loves football. That is going to be an adjustment. Apparently the Superbowl is like his second xmas.
Gia,
ReplyDeleteCan I take Jaya fishing? She's never BEEN!!!
You need to hire an attorney, and file a restraining order against those geese. Otherwise, they'll continue to harass you.
ReplyDeleteI hate fishing, the first time I went we stood out all day and caught nothing.
ReplyDeletehmm... what about geese repellent? I bet that's a thing. Geese spray? Like pepper spray, but for geese?
ReplyDeleteIdea: Maybe your boyfriend should switch from fishing to geese-ing.
ReplyDeleteLor
Geese are scary as shit. I got attacked by one as a child and haven't been the same since. In fact, that explains a lot.
ReplyDeletedepending on what part of Canada that goose is from, it either wants a Timbit, a Persian, a swig of Labatt's...or a cigarette. Did you try speaking French? next time shout this:
ReplyDeletesortir connard d'oie
just trust me.
If a Canadian Goose starts hissing at you, just run, my friend. Run. Run fast!
ReplyDeleteFishing is so boring...I'm not sure why people like it. And the Canadian geese should change their name as they aren't the least bit nice!
ReplyDeleteJust stare them down and act like you're from NY. They'll leave you alone.
ReplyDeleteUm, RUN! Run fast! And if there is someone you can outrun, do it. Leave them behind to get eaten and RUN!
ReplyDeletei actually like fishing, so i wouldn't mind... now those geese. yikes. no direct eye contact, and if you're lucky enough to get a fish, sacrifice it in the heat of the run. throw them off your sent!
ReplyDeleteMy ex-husband loved trout fishing. The fact that he's my EX husband had only a little to do with the trout fishing.
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ReplyDeleteI like to fish, but I don't use bait. It interrupts my reading.
ReplyDeleteHahaha, that'shwatshesaid made my night. :-)
ReplyDeleteSorry about the geese, I have no idea. :-(
I got attacked by geese on a run once.l Those things are vicious. Just stay as far away from them as possible...or bring bread as a peace offering. :)
ReplyDeleteI've never tried fishing. I may or may not be that lame! Haha! But really...
ReplyDeleteAlso, if the geese attack, Robot Girlfriend should do the job! Haha!
aww Boyfriend is so cute in his fishing gear. :)
ReplyDeleteI live near a park that has a ton of Canadian geese there all year. I think the entire state of South Dakota is on their migratory path. (This past winter, when it was warm and it rained, everything smelled like goose poop. But that's another story for another time.) I've never been attacked by one, but I've had one hiss at me because the goose family was close by. I just gave it a very cool "don't mess with me" stare and kept walking.
ReplyDeleteWow. I've only ever been chased by a one-eyed bird. I'd say run like hell but that could cause a panic. Hmmmm...maybe you could bring a big scary mean dog with you? What's a goose's immediate predator? Bring that.
ReplyDeleteI'm new to this site and in LOVE with your artwork. Big smile reading this.
ReplyDeleteGeese are mean. We raise chickens and had some ducks (until the raccoons decapitated them, bastards!), but we'll never intentionally raise geese.
ReplyDeleteFunny! I love the texting and your humor.
ReplyDeleteLove the drawing of Happy Fishing Boyfriend:)
ReplyDeleteMmmmm......trout. My favorite fish to fish for. Being I like to hunt geese, I see no problem with them attacking you, but I'm guessing you're looking for advice that doesn't involve the use of guns within city limits. :)
ReplyDeleteAs the owner of a blog entitled "I Like to Fish..." I think you and the boyfriend should come see me. Very good post, and I'm here from Yeah Write, but I'll be staying. I like the artwork.
ReplyDeleteGeese are evil creatures. I figure someone probably already said that above, but it bears repeating. Evil evil.
ReplyDelete(Although your drawing of them is spot on!).
Just stay away. They hate you for existing. Please see above re: evil.
Oh, the things we do for love...
ReplyDeleteYou should bow to the geese. Wait...that's a hippogriff.
ReplyDeleteI think that your boyfriend is quite lucky to have you, and I hope he shows you his appreciation in well-cooked trout dinners...if you ever catch any! ;)
ReplyDeleteYou are hilarious. There's no two ways about it. One time when my niece was a newborn we were all out for dinner at a nice restaurant and she started fussing. I was done eating so I offered to walk her around outside so her mom could eat. I took her down to a little pond outside the restaurant and these two crazy geese started chasing the crap out of us! Man can those things run! You think being chased ALONE is bad? Try being chased while holding a brand-new baby that you are currently responsible for! Holy crap! We made it out alive but the whole scene was viewed through the window of the restaurant. Who knew we were going to provided dinner and a show? That one still kills at family get-togethers.
ReplyDeleteOh Gia, you kill me. Speaking of kill, get a BIG dog to go with you to the park, preferably hungry (the dog, not you). Open season on trout AND geese.
ReplyDeleteFishing stinks. Literally and figuratively.
ReplyDeleteOmg, I would never walk anywhere near a goose!!! This whole ordeal sounds horrible! Can't you just go to the spa while he does the fishing?!
ReplyDeleteI hail from a fishing family so I really loved this. So funny and real.
ReplyDeleteYou must be tougher than the goose and because it is Canadian that should not be difficult.
ReplyDeleteNo advice for the goose. Though I did encounter an "aggressive swan," as the person at the KOA counter called him, once. I raised my arms and squawked at him. He left me alone, but I swear I heard him laughing.
ReplyDeleteNot sure about the Canadian Geese, we only get them when they want to be warm from Canada.
ReplyDeleteI hate to see fish die. They are laying there struggling to breathe and I am gulping breaths like it grows on trees.
Oh, I am sad now.
I swear I have a phobia of geese, not even kidding! t theres bad childhood memories involving the nasty creatures, and leave it at that!
ReplyDeletehaha @ that'swhatshesaid. Yes, I am twelve.
ReplyDeletegeese are mean. and i hate goose poop. i also don't like fishing b/c it seems mean. but i like eating fish (that sounds totally bad and not how I meant it)
ReplyDeleteToo funny! I'd get a bunch of fish recipes for all of that trout. ;)
ReplyDeleteDid I not answer this? Bag of dried corn. Throw. Run.
ReplyDeletegeese are terrifying. i have no weapons against them other than to run fast, or throw them the fish you just caught, b/c i'm sure those damn geese are carnivores. or pescivores.
ReplyDeleteLove that very obvious notice!
ReplyDeleteSounds like a good deal to me- something for the two of you to do together.
ReplyDelete