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Showing posts with label animal shaming. Show all posts
Showing posts with label animal shaming. Show all posts

Friday, March 22, 2013

Kitty Hangover



Me: So how did your St Patty’s Day celebrations go?
Miss Priscilla: Ungh. Stop talking.
Me: Miss Priscilla, we were supposed to do this interview on Monday! You can’t still be hungover.
Miss Priscilla: Why are you screaming.
Me: I’m not screaming I’m talking like normal-
Miss Priscilla: Shhhhh Gia.
Me: *whispering * how was your weekend?
Miss Priscilla: From what I can remember, it was fun.
Me: Really? Eat anything green?
Miss Priscilla: I’ve been throwing up green for the past 4 days. Don’t talk about green.
Me: I see. So you don’t want any spinach, or broccoli?
Miss Priscilla: Gia, I’m warning you…
Me: Chocolate chip mint ice cream?
Miss Priscilla: BLAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH
Me: Well. I suppose I deserved that.

Me: Anyway, meet anyone fun?
Miss Priscilla: Ummm, I don’t know…
Me: Oh really? Because I found this picture of you sleeping…


Miss Priscilla: GASP HOW DID YOU GET THAT GIA?!
Me: IN BED WITH A DOG, MISS PRISCILLA!
Miss Priscilla: I WAS DRUNK!
Me: I thought you thought dogs were all slobbery mutts!
Miss Priscilla: I do, I do! But we were drunk and he kind of looks a little like a cat…
Me: No he doesn’t.
Miss Priscilla: If you squint…
Me: No, he doesn’t
Miss Priscilla: Shut up, Gia. It’s not like you don’t have anything to be ashamed of! I SAW HOW MUCH COOKIE DOUGH YOU ATE ON SATURDAY.
Me: Why do you have to go there? IT WAS WHOLE WHEAT FLOUR!
Miss Priscilla: THAT DOESN’T MAKE IT HEALTHY
Me: What’s mr. loverboy’s name?
Miss Priscilla: Fuck you!
Me: Fuck YOU!

Damn, living with cats is hard.

Friday, February 1, 2013

In Another Episode of Animal Shaming..


Me: Hey Popsicle
Popsicle: Hey Gia! Ready for the football game?
Me: Yeah yeah. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something. I think you know what.
Popsicle: Nope, no idea
Me: Yes you do. That thing you did last week. 
Popsicle: NOPE.
Me: Well then. Time to get shamed


Popsicle: AHHHHHH!
Me: Popsicle, how could you! You used to care so much about the environment!
Popsicle: I do I do, but I accidentally threw away a glass jar...
Me: NOT RECYCLE, Popsicle? Really?
Popsicle: It was ONE time. 
Me: Sure, and it’s just one more iceberg melting…
Popsicle: Stop it
Me: POLAR BEARS ARE GONNA BE EXTINCT.
Popsicle: Damnit Gia! Stop making me feel bad! You’re not perfect either!
Me: Yes I am! I won the Girlfriend Olympics!
Popsicle: Oh really? Well how about this!

Me: Well played, sir.




Lessons learned: Always recycle. And don't get caught drinking Boyfriend's wine.