Monday, January 16, 2012

An Interview with a Polar Bear (and Alligator)


As you guys may recall, Boyfriend got me a polar bear for Christmas:


We have decided to name him Popsicle the Polar Bear.

Boyfriend got him for me because he believes a polar bear cries every time I use a blowdryer and wanted to me to have a reminder of what I was destroying. However, Popsicle isn’t exactly the crying type.

Popsicle: DEATH TO BLOWDRYERS!!!
He's a bit militant.

Me: Popsicle, we’ve talked about this.
Popsicle: They’re terrible for the environment! I’m covered in fur and you don’t see me blowing hot air at my head. 
Me: It’s not the same.  Look, the blowdryer isn’t so bad, now is it?

Popsicle: OH MY GOD.
Me: What? What is it?
Popsicle: YOUR MURDERED A ZEBRA!??
Me: What? Oh no Pop it’s just a design…
Yes, he's hugging the blowdryer
Popsicle: How could you?! AN INNOCENT ZEBRA! What, was destroying my people not enough?!?!
Allie: Hey guys, whats up? Ooooh, a ZEBRA!

CHOMP CHOMP

Allie: It doesn’t taste very good.
Me: It’s NOT A REAL ZEBRA! 
Allie: Who’s the new guy? 
Me: Allie, meet Popsicle the Polar Bear
Allie: Ooo you single?
Popsicle: I have no time for the ladies! I must focus all my energy on my crusade against blowdryers!! 
Allie: I don’t have a blowdryer, but I’m a fan of blowing…
Popsicle: …hmm...

You have a large mouth…


…and pointy teeth. Like I was saying, no time! Must fight the blowdryers!
Me: Oh come on!
Popsicle: Why do you even need this piece of devil equipment?
Me: Look, this is my hair without a blowdryer:

Me: And this is it with it:


Popsicle: Wow. A blowdryer does all that?
Me: Well, that and my straightener.
Popsicle: Your what?
Me: Hair straightener. See?

Popsicle: *Looks in horror* OH MY GOD IT’S…
Me: -It’s not a real-
Popsicle: ...A SNOW LEOPARD. ARE THERE NO LIMITS TO YOUR MURDEROUS WAYS?
Me: *facepalm*

Allie: Hey hey hey pay attention to meeeee!!
Look at me look at me look at me

Popsicle: I’m so done with all of you right now. This interview is over.
Hmph!

Well, alright then. There’s your introduction to Popsicle.  Looks like I’m going to have to start blowdrying my hair in secret. Le sigh.  

42 comments:

  1. That was unusual, yet entertaining! I hope your blowdyer makes it out alive!

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  2. You murderous wench! How could you do that to a Zebra and Snow Leopard? Oh the humani...... the Bestiality!

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  3. I have a feeling if you and I ever met we would get along really well...and the world would probably implode.

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  4. This is why we have one indoor/outdoor cat...I can't deal with drama.

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    Replies
    1. how come I haven't seen a blog post about kitty yet?!?!

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  5. hehe so true, we need blow dryers and straighteners and curling irons. They. Are. A. Necessity. Popsicle will learn that too.

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  6. I'm proud to say that no blow dryers, straighteners or curling irons have been harmed, or used, in the maintenance of my flowing golden locks. If I blow dried my hair it would be a poofy woofy puff ball. What a smart little polar bear he is! Hi Popscicle - Hugs and kisses to you little sweetie pie! :)

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  7. i love your straightener and blowdryer designs ! soo pretty.
    great post :)

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  8. Gia, you really are crazy. And I love it. I probably won't be able to live without these posts. *sigh*

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  9. Was Popsicle humping the blowdryer in the last picture? If Boyfriend isn't okay with you using a blowdryer, shave your head. That'll teach him.

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  10. I'm with pickleope. I think if you offer to shave your head "for the environment" then you won't need to make polar bears cry you may get to see just how passionate BF is about the environment. Except he'd probably call your bluff.

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  11. Is it disturbing that I can't stop wondering what part your offspring could would be cast as? Hopefully less sexual but I have a feeling it would be just as funny!

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  12. I agree with B!!! hahaha Love them though! Boyfriend and Pop will be happy to know I don't own a blowdryer. If I used one I'd look like I stuck my finger in an outlet.

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  13. That was so fabulously random, and perfect for a Monday morning.

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  14. This blog is awesome! Following you now! "They are called sadists" haha! Rock on! Ok, no more exclamation points!

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  15. While those two are fighting, I'm totally gonna sneak in there and eat that zebra. Chumps.

    Also, isn't that tousled bedhead look a good thing? No wait, that's just for guys. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go back to a glorious life of not having to wake up until 5 minutes before I have to be somewhere because my hair is always in a permanent state of 'done.'

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  16. I am sitting in the hair salon getting my hair did and I was laughing so hard at this that all of the stylists came over. This post couldn't be more hysterical or more fitting for where I am right now. We are all roaring with laughter (yes, animal noise pun fully intended). P.S. Don't tell Popsicle but I love your stylish hair tools!

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  17. I am sitting in the hair salon getting my hair did and I was laughing so hard at this that all of the stylists came over. This post couldn't be more hysterical or more fitting for where I am right now. We are all roaring with laughter (yes, animal noise pun fully intended). P.S. Don't tell Popsicle but I love your stylish hair tools!

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  18. I can't help but feel like Popsicle is trying to flash us his non existent bun cak in that last shot.

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  19. Perhaps blowing hot air up Popsicle's ass would show him the wonders of warmth on demand. After all, most polar bears aren't really used to 'warmth'.

    Does Allie consistently choose the wrong guy for her? There's a 12 step group for that. Somewhere.

    Seriously, now, killing zebras and snow leopards is frowned upon, but Boyfriend lets you get away with THIS and doesn't like blow dryers? Something is suspicious about this scenario.

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  20. Popsicle the militant tree-hugging polar bear, I like this new character haha.

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  21. LMAO!! Popsicle would hate me considering I blow dry and straighten my hair twice a day sometimes!!

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  22. Wonderful.
    I'm very happy to see I'm not the only person who makes inanimate objects interact with one another.
    I'm a pretty big fan of militant polar bears.

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  23. Explain to Popsicle that he could always go back to build a bear and be dismembered at a moments notice... Cute blow dryer, by the way!

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  24. I don't understand why Popsicle wouldn't give Allie a chance. Her pointy teeth are sexy!!

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  25. Popsicle needs to calm down, everyone knows womens hair is absolutely crap without a hair dryer. If he starts a fight against hair straighteners, its war

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  26. No hairdryer would be a real injustice--who cares about the polar bears right?

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  27. Poor popsicle. No one understands him. Except me, of course. I love the polar bears.

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  28. I think Popsicle is just on her rag... no one's that bitchy unless their missing their midol.

    Anyways...

    YAY FOR REALLLLLY COOL HAIR PRODUCTS!

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  29. POPSICLE!?!?!? My name idea was WAY cooler. *Sigh* I lose again. What other animal print hair products do you have? I like!

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    Replies
    1. Awww, sorry LKat. You know I love you! Your name was great, but I went with Boyfriend's suggestion. And those are the only two animal print hair products I have. For now.

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  30. I think it's safe to say that you have an active imagination. The addition of angry eyebrows on Popsicle made me chuckle.

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  31. If you do decide to give up the hairdryer and straighteners, just buy a hat.

    It solved many problems for me, as well as saving the world/polar bears etc.

    And, it means I get to stay in bed in the morning for longer. Hat on and off I go.

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  32. HahaHAA! Stinkin fun-nay! Love this blog.
    I had no idea blow dryers were bad for the environment. I care about the environment, but I don't care that much. I'm blowin, baby. TWSS

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  33. You've got animal prints on both your hairdryer and hair straightener. Popsicle and I might be friends, though... I only use the hairdryer once every few months or so.

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  34. Wow, boyfriend thinks a polar bear cries every time you use the hair dryer?? I will now forever picture boyfriend picketing outside Blowbar. All the chicas inside will be like, 'Waaa? Why is that guy screaming about polar bears?'

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  35. I need a polar bear like that.

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  36. So very random and totally enjoyable! Thanks :)

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  37. This is my favorite bedtime story.

    THANK YOU!

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  38. That is a really radballs blowdryer.

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