As you guys may recall, Boyfriend got me a polar bear for Christmas:
We have decided to name him Popsicle the Polar Bear.
Boyfriend got him for me because he believes a polar bear cries every time I use a blowdryer and wanted to me to have a reminder of what I was destroying. However, Popsicle isn’t exactly the crying type.
Popsicle: DEATH TO BLOWDRYERS!!!
|He's a bit militant.|
Me: Popsicle, we’ve talked about this.
Popsicle: They’re terrible for the environment! I’m covered in fur and you don’t see me blowing hot air at my head.
Me: It’s not the same. Look, the blowdryer isn’t so bad, now is it?
Popsicle: OH MY GOD.
Me: What? What is it?
Popsicle: YOUR MURDERED A ZEBRA!??
Me: What? Oh no Pop it’s just a design…
|Yes, he's hugging the blowdryer|
Popsicle: How could you?! AN INNOCENT ZEBRA! What, was destroying my people not enough?!?!
Allie: Hey guys, whats up? Ooooh, a ZEBRA!
Me: It’s NOT A REAL ZEBRA!
Allie: Who’s the new guy?
Me: Allie, meet Popsicle the Polar Bear
Allie: Ooo you single?
Popsicle: I have no time for the ladies! I must focus all my energy on my crusade against blowdryers!!
Allie: I don’t have a blowdryer, but I’m a fan of blowing…
You have a large mouth…
…and pointy teeth. Like I was saying, no time! Must fight the blowdryers!
Me: Oh come on!
Popsicle: Why do you even need this piece of devil equipment?
Me: Look, this is my hair without a blowdryer:
Me: And this is it with it:
Popsicle: Wow. A blowdryer does all that?
Me: Well, that and my straightener.
Popsicle: Your what?
Me: Hair straightener. See?
Popsicle: *Looks in horror* OH MY GOD IT’S…
Me: -It’s not a real-
Popsicle: ...A SNOW LEOPARD. ARE THERE NO LIMITS TO YOUR MURDEROUS WAYS?
Allie: Hey hey hey pay attention to meeeee!!
|Look at me look at me look at me|
Popsicle: I’m so done with all of you right now. This interview is over.
Well, alright then. There’s your introduction to Popsicle. Looks like I’m going to have to start blowdrying my hair in secret. Le sigh.