I'm the Mayor of my own Crazy Town. Sheriff, too.
Ha ha ha ha. I love it. I went through a very protracted version of this when we moved to India. Decent (read not stuff that will make you blind) wine costs an arm and a leg here so we don't get it that often. I definitely have my days when I have to settle for whiskey and a whole lot of those F bombs are thrown. :-)
I never settle for whiskey. Whiskey is something to which I aspire!
You forgot the "punching people" phase. Key phase. Ps no sympathy here. Pregnancy forces me to the punch people phase every other day.
Has this ever happened to me? Oh yes. Unfortunately, yes. It is heartbreaking. So now I always keep multiple bottles on hand. At all times. For the children*. *(Not for them to drink! So that mommy doesn't go into a kill crazy rampage. I care about their safety, yo).
Ginny gin gin gin. I just looked at my wine rack and realized there are only 3 bottles left on it and I thought "Oh my god, I have to buy more wine!" Thank you, for this cautionary tale.
This happened to my wife not all that long ago, except she ran out of Rye. Unfortunately it was me that has to go trudging out through the snow, in the cold and dark, with a flashlight to see if for some unknown reason we had forgotten to in bring the bottle we keep in our holiday trailer. There was none, but luckily we also keep emergency vodka, emergency rum, emergency tequila, and my scotch on hand. :)
Ha. I can so identify with this -- I who live in a county that didn't allow liquor sales on Sunday. (They changed the laws this last election.) There was always that moment at 11:50 Saturday night, that I'd panic and run to the fridge to see if we had any wine for the next night. (That is really a horrible thing to admit.)
You need to be shopping at costco or Trader Joe's...then you can get a case of wine so you'll avoid these horrifying situations again in the future. p.s. "grumblefuck" might be my new favourite word :D
Ha! I love the magical wine fairy!
I went through all of this in August. WHEN I QUIT DRINKING.Sigh.My only consolation is that I've lost 10 lbs.
Hahaha love this. Happens to me all the time.
I think I need the magical wine fairy to visit me...And there is nothing that feels as disappointing as pouring the last glass...
I love how the angel has a heart-shaped halo, because wine = loveYay!
But what if you run out of emergency gin? Panic stations x
I like your blog posting so I don't want to give you any bad ideas. Seriously, you should probably just ignore the rest of this comment and go for a walk or do something productive:Don't read on...Seriously, this isn't going to help you...Still here?OK, here goes:I have heard of people ordering groceries to be delivered to their homes and of people taking cabs to the liquor store.
Do you have to break a glass to get to the emergency gin bottle? Also, all is not lost if you have Magic Markers to huff or glue to sniff.
Thank goodness for those emergency gin bottles!
Great post, and totally true. . .except in my world, it's the opposite. . . what? I've run out of Tanqueray? Okay, I guess I'll drink wine. . . :)
Hilarious! And emergency gin? I have that too.
I'm still smiling. I loved how you used the stages of grief for this story. Very clever.
I try very hard to never run out of Whiskey (Rye). Sometimes it's a challenge to see if I can make it to the Liquor Store after work and before it closes. Then of course, I just end up taking one sip before I get tired and go to bed. I hate long work days.
Poor baby. Here's a couple pics from my basement to make you feel better. Yes, there is a bike in the photos, but it doesn't block the view of what you are interested in.http://www.nucleus.com/~keith/Bike_photos.html
Hurray for the backup gin! I have 5 bottles of vodka in the freezer. You know, just in case.
Ha ha! This has happened to me when I do not have any diet Coke in the morning on the weekends. On a work day, I can just get it from a vending machine, but on the the weekend, I have end my lazy ways and get dressed and go out!! Terrible.
I feel the same with cake.
It's times like this I'm glad there's a liquor store right behind my house, in walking distance. Not that I ever walk there, of course, when it's a 10 second car drive (laziness).
I've had this happen and it's THE worst. Lucky for me there's a liquor store on my street a 10 minute walk away
I love your wine posts most of all (probably b/c I'm a serous wine drinker myself!)!!! We used to have a wine closet but graduated to a wine cellar for this very reason. I can't remember the last time we ran out. Yay!
Hee hee! I think you need to check out My Drunk Kitchen, if you're not already familiar: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vq7G-Q9ZwC0
Grumblefuck. I love that!
I practically had a melt down when I went to get my fix and realized the liquor store was closed because it was a state holiday. Pioneer Day. Really? Pretty sure the pioneers wouldn't have wanted me to suffer like that on their own holiday.
This never happens to me because I work at a bar and therefore get all sorts of free samples. My liquor/wine cabinet is always stocked.
This happens with me hoarded junk food I have in my room. I really should have bigger stashes of the stuff...
Ha! I feel this more with chocolate, but the stages are the same.
Grumblefuck...my new favorite made up curse word!!!! Love it, except for me instead of emergency gin I have emergency vodka in my freezer. hehe
I'm quite certain that is why you often find those little small bottles of alcohol tied to the bigger bottle. In case of a grumblefuck emergency, rip that sucker off and chug it. brilliant.honestly though...they could make them a little bigger. right?