Friday, September 6, 2013

Worst Gift Giver Ever

So, Boyfriend’s birthday is coming up.

And I have a confession.

It’s not my fault. I try SO HARD. Probably too hard.

This is not an exaggeration. I have seen the entire internet. There is a LOT of porn out there. 
Anyway,  Boyfriend is tough to shop for. I’m no expert in his hobbies (like golf or fishing), so it’s not like I could get him a new golf stick thingy-

Or fish stick thingy-

Well that just sounds filthy.
Whatever. And I try to find cool gadgets related to this stuff, but he already knows about most of them. And since he’s not poor like some of us here, if there is something he wants super bad, he probably owns it.

But this isn’t a problem – I can still get him something fun and whimsical. Right?

It’s hard to explain. I usually almost get it right.

(Just kidding. If I got my hands on a kitty, there’s no way I’d be able to give it away. Retarded or not.)

To Boyfriend’s credit, he is an excellent gift receiver.

Here’s hoping I do a little better this year! 


  1. Didn't you get him a pornographic shaver? I told you to get him a pornographic shaver!

  2. If you've done the naked and beer thing, move on to chocolate. Use your imagination, silly. And you never know, he might LIKE a zombie slut, particularly if they were twin red-heads. Just saying.

  3. My cousin is like that with her "Little Mermaid" stuff. What we usually end up doing at Christmas is that she'll tell me EXACTLY what she doesn't already have and then I go buy it. It sucks because it's like "Surprise! Here's the thing you told me about!"

  4. You are very funny!!

    Get him a hammer, or a screw driver set, a guy can never have enough hammers or screw drivers. They are like shoes to women!

    Or a power drill...oooh a power drill...can't have for every room, one for the car...get a power drill!

  5. I'm a terrible gift giver too, so I've just stopped giving gifts. Life is less stressful that way.

  6. Haha, I want that tshirt! I'm sure you'll do fine. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 7 years and he's yet to receive a present that I haven't accidentally told him what it is a week before. I suck x

  7. Oh, the times of giving gifts -- on a budget -- to the person who has what they need. I'm with you. That's why I've started giving away homemade brew and photo books. :)

  8. Oh my gosh, I want that cat! One that barks and moos would be so fun :)

    Why don't you just get him more art projects? He seemed to like the whole wine cork stuff you did. Other than that, I have no idea. He does sound like a toughy.

  9. IR thermometer! Get one! Every man needs one! It's like a little wand or gun that has a laser pointer and it tells you the temperature of whatever the laser's pointing at. My hub checks for air drafts by the windows, sees how hot the grill is and sees what temperature the dog's butt is (86F).

  10. Favorite Young Man was very pleased when someone gave him a drill. He usually seems to like the books I give him. But the best gift you can give Boyfriend is a bottle of wine for him to share with you, and then have naked time.


  11. You could find a new cool restaurant to try out and take him out to a fancy dinner. Unless he doesn't like trying out new cool restaurants, in which case this whole birthday gift thing has now become his problem not yours.

  12. My roommate has a retarded cat. It's kind of adorable.

    You could argue that dating you is the gift that keeps on giving and just go with that?

  13. That retarded cat would be the best gift ever!

    C'mon, us guys are simple. Just wrap yourself in a giant bow, lay on the bed, and tell him that you're his present and he needs to unwrap you. Done!

  14. The retarded cat was hilarious. Maybe you can get him specialty beef jerky or kangaroo meat, some exotic meat stuff, if he's not a vegetarian. Or maybe a beer of the month subscription. Or maybe tickets to a concert or play or some live event he'd like, an experience! Give him the gift of an experience!

  15. I suck at gifts, but I'm great at books. So I usually give people books about their hobbies or favorite subjects. My sister's kids lovingly call me their "Bookish Aunt", which now that I think about it kind of makes me sound like a little old librarian lady, but they seem to enjoy the books I give them. Just then? When I said I suck at gifts? I really meant to say I SUCK AT PEOPLE. Gifts are easy; it's the recipients who are the problem.

  16. It’s no secret that most men only want one thing, right?

    Well it turns out that’s not only wrong, but may actually be the root of many failed relationships.

    In fact, the one thing men are universally obsessed with...

    Is actually a feeling he’s been chasing his whole life.

    It’s an elusive combination of emotion and biological drive that’s rarely satisfied in life or love.

    ===> (The secret obsession that makes men fall in love) - (What men look for in “The One”) <=====

    And when you know how to satisfy this life long obsession...

    He will make it his life long mission to cherish and please you...

    And he will pursue your love to the ends of the earth.

    Here’s a video you won’t want to miss that shows you how to become your man’s deepest obsession:

    ===> (The most powerful emotion for men) - (Men fall in love with women who do THIS): <=====