Me: Hey Ducky! How’s Ducks Against Raping Ducks?
Ducky: HI GIA HOW’S IT GOING?
Me: Uhh why are you yelling?
Ducky: I’M NOT YELLING I’M JUST EXCITED!!!1
Me: About what?
Ducky: That you’ve figured out how to do polls! I want to do a duck
rape poll!
Me: Um, okay. Please don’t ask me to ask my readers if they’ve
ever raped a duck. I may not be emotionally prepared for their answers
Ducky: No silly. Ask them how they feel about duck rape.
Me: Here goes:
Gay ducks are totally okay in my book. In fact, I am an advocate of gay ducks. I hope to soon join the ranks of gay ducks through the operation I have booked next Wednesday. Up with gay ducks!
ReplyDeleteWhy do I get the feeling one of those answers was for me? But I was torn between two of those answers. If we let gay ducks marry, what's to stop mallards from marrying squirrels? It will be anarchy in the animal kingdom! (The previous was a joke meant to mock weird homophobic arguments. So don't get mad at me, imaginary person I'm anticipating getting self-righteous on me.)
ReplyDeleteI assume you'd be terrified of dolphin rape, of course. :)
DeleteI am all for lesbian ducks, but drake on drake is just wrong.
ReplyDeleteHave you read Unbroken? It's about an Olympic sprinter who served in WWII as an aircraft gunner. You may be wondering why I'm asking about this. Well, there's an honest-to-goodness duck rape in it that I've never quite recovered from. So disturbing.
ReplyDeleteI just read Mandy_Fish's comment. Is the duck rape a true story? If it is, then I think you'd better do something about it. I don't care if it happened during WWII. This is your moment, and you should grab it and condemn the rape of the duck.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
It was difficult for me to choose an answer to this poll. While I do support gay ducks, I think I was more disturbed by dolphin rape than anything else. Hmm...
ReplyDeleteOh man, don't get me started on dolphin rape. That, is horrifying.
ReplyDelete