Gia, I thought that you'd like to know that Moses' actual wife Zipporah was a huge C@nty McC@nterson and Moses hated her raggedy ass. (Jews know this.) Also to answer Keith....gas and hardwood. The butcher's daughter, mmmmmmm.
Well, that would explain why Moses went up a mountain to get away from her.
But really, I think she's just misunderstood. She was probably a lovely lady with a lot of good qualities and a knack for blagging. The Bible's funny about women I mean, they totally left out Jesus' wife!
Hahaha! People won't take them too seriously- that's really clever! I love these mockery bible tales! I'm really looking forward to the next one! Love Juni
Oh, I totally lie when the hubs is chewing like a chainsaw. It's because I intend to record him eating and use it as the soundtrack in a zombie movie...
I loved that post, but then I'm a heathen. It reminded me of the movie The Invention of Lying. I was going to sing your praises in a parody of The Lords Prayer, but then I decided that I'd better not. I already pissed off enough people last week. http://rlbrody.com/2012/09/20/creepy-creepers-and-the-creeps-who-excuse-them/
I bet Moses' wife totally had her own card.
ReplyDeleteA chainsaw. (reduced to hysteria.) Would that be gas or electric? Cutting hardwood or bush slash?
ReplyDeleteHaha, I love these posts so much! Keep them coming!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad God did not forbid us to say "fuck off" when someone's being annoying. I feel less guilty.
ReplyDeleteGia, I thought that you'd like to know that Moses' actual wife Zipporah was a huge C@nty McC@nterson and Moses hated her raggedy ass. (Jews know this.) Also to answer Keith....gas and hardwood. The butcher's daughter, mmmmmmm.
ReplyDeleteWell, that would explain why Moses went up a mountain to get away from her.
DeleteBut really, I think she's just misunderstood. She was probably a lovely lady with a lot of good qualities and a knack for blagging. The Bible's funny about women I mean, they totally left out Jesus' wife!
That last line was PERFECT. I also loved that Moses's lady friend intervened in the writing of the commandments. Well done.
ReplyDeleteI heard that Butcher's Daughter caused quite a stir. I hope Moses burned his "card" in praise of his blagger girlfriend, I mean God.
ReplyDeleteIf there was a Non-profanity Commandment, I'd be even more sol than I am already.
ReplyDeleteFantastic post! I've always been a fan of rule 34 myself.
ReplyDeleteYay! "Have fun with God, honey," hahahaha...
ReplyDeleteI do hope this series continues! =]
It is a shame that the word ogle isn't in there anywhere though! ;)
ReplyDeleteI think I'm going to print this out and hand it to my boyfriend. If I color your hair darker, it could totally pass ;)
ReplyDeleteTHOU ART FUNNY.
ReplyDeleteHahaha! People won't take them too seriously- that's really clever! I love these mockery bible tales! I'm really looking forward to the next one! Love Juni
ReplyDeleteBahahaha! "If you wanted to do this yourself you should have given yourself arms!" Genius. Pure genius. I could read these all day.
ReplyDeleteOh, I totally lie when the hubs is chewing like a chainsaw. It's because I intend to record him eating and use it as the soundtrack in a zombie movie...
ReplyDeleteI loved that post, but then I'm a heathen. It reminded me of the movie The Invention of Lying. I was going to sing your praises in a parody of The Lords Prayer, but then I decided that I'd better not. I already pissed off enough people last week. http://rlbrody.com/2012/09/20/creepy-creepers-and-the-creeps-who-excuse-them/
ReplyDeleteThe only one I don't have a problem with is don't commit adultery. I am going to be a dick to my neighbors if I want however.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laugh. I say they should have been called the Ten Suggestions instead of commandments.
ReplyDelete