Friday, August 24, 2012

Onion Goggles


You guys ever have one of those frustrating moments when you think of a GREAT idea and find out it’s already been invented?


This is how it started. I was cutting an onion:


And all of a sudden my eyes starting tearing up.




You know, because I'm a vegetarian.




And then I had a brilliant idea: ONION GOGGLES!


  
Unfortunately, then I told twitter. And they informed me it had already been invented.
I hate being thwarted
I coulda been rich.

So, two questions for you all:

Have you ever thought of something awesome that has already been invented?
Do you have any tricks to onion cutting? I can’t buy these onion goggles out of principle. 

30 comments:

  1. There is a special way to cut it without the tears but I haven't mastered it. So, I won't begin to tell you since I really don't know how to do it.
    You could always make Boyfriend chop them up and then store in an air tight container so you don't have to do it at all...

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  2. Yeah, I invented cryptid insurance on Monday only to find out there are real social predators out there already doing it.
    Also, onions make you cry as nature's warning not to eat them. Apples don't make you cry because they are delicious, onions make you cry because they are evil.

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    1. You are a genius. Onions make me sick (literally).

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  3. Ever since I started wearing contact lenses, onions never make me cry any more. Yay, contacts!

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    1. Yep, contact lenses = no more tears.

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  4. Onions are evil little bastards. My advice is to put them back in the ground where they belong.

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  5. Keep a sip of water in your mouth while cutting onions and you don't get teary. Works every time.

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  6. WHAT? Already invented? I just posted in Facebook yesterday during a particularly roughy time making salsa. Supposedly the trouble starts when you cut the root end, but I am definitely going to try the sip of water thing. I also needed help with the coughing that was induced by the hot peppere vapors...can youngest something for that?

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    1. Meaning I posted asking if such protective eyewear was available.

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  7. This doesn't always work, but chewing gum while cutting onions seems to help most of the time. Or you can get a pair of swimming goggles.

    I used my goggles from when I taught lessons and they worked great. As long as you can handle the inevitable teasing that Boyfriend will give you. My hub and kids teased me mercilessly every time they'd come into the kitchen to find me cutting onions with goggles on...

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  8. My mom said (I really asked my mom for you, haha) you should chill the onion for 10 mins before cutting it. :)

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  9. If you stick it in the freezer for a bit before cutting, it helps!
    LOL, ever see the Modern Family with onion goggles?

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  10. The goggles, the knife, the giant THWARTED at the top... looks pretty ominous. I'm scared for who ever invented the onion goggles before you did.

    I have no tips for cutting onions. I've tried them all and they still make me cry. I hope you find something that works!

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  11. Supposedly you leave the root end on and chop from the other end, but I call melarkey. I must've built up some weird tolerance 'cause I cook with them almost every day and they don't make me tear up anymore. Go me!

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  12. When I was 12 I came up with a brilliant idea. I just got my period and would carry pads around in my back pockets of my jeans. Well given that my pads were pink, crinkly, dead give aways I thought there should be discrete wallets for pads. Something cool with Val Kilmers face on it.

    I'm fairly certain no one invented a Pad Wallet with Val Kilmers face. But if they did. They are awesome.

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  13. Solution: No more onions. As I said above, onions make me sick. To be even more graphic, they give me diarrhea. They also cause stinky breath. No one should eat onions.

    Love,
    Janie

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  14. I once painted a blurry scene of stars over a small village only to be told that some dude name Vincent painted the same EXACT scene decades ago.

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  15. Put them in a freezer for up to an hour before cutting them. Freezes whatever it is that makes you cry.

    Don't bother cutting it underwater. The cut pieces just float to the top and it's not really safe cutting that way.

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  16. someone may have said this-- but i slice the beast in half- run each side under cold water and boom! no tears. for shiz.

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  17. allllllll the time. And! hold a piece of bread in your mouth and voila, no tears!

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  18. Are you serious?? Onion freaking goggles??

    Wow. O.o

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  19. I wear contact lens too.....no tears.

    if only I'd invented contact lens. :(

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  20. I put lemon juice on the cutting board (not rubbed in) before I cut the onion. Something about the juice neuterilizes the onion.

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  21. I like to make sure I'm drunk when I'm cutting onions. It does nothing for the stinging, just makes you care less about it.

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  22. Happens to me all of the time! I have invented a thousand things that already have been invented.

    The freezing thing works, I think, but onion goggles are priceless!

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  23. I've never had this problem with onions. Must be the magical contacts. My husband tears up something fierce though. And yes, I bust his balls over it.

    We tell people that we plan to invent the wireless extension cord.

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  24. Run water while you slice near the sink.

    I'm not smart enough to invent anything, so I never have to worry about my genius ideas being thwarted. No genius ideas=ignorant bliss :)

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  25. I have no onion input, but I love that you had to figure out why you were teary-eyed (it was probably at least a little because of eating a salad for dinner, right?).

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  26. Light a match, blow it out and hold the un burnt end in your mounth. (like an old lady cig thing). And wash your hands with Salt and soapy water to get the smell off of them. Oh, and DO NOT TALK, thats when it hits me.

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  27. I thought I invented murder once. That was a long time ago. My teacher gave me homework on a weekend. On a weekend! My little brain went straight to fantasizing about running he rover with my bike.

    "Am I just sad I'm having salad for dinner." -Ain't that the truth, sister.

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